Signals & Gender Roles

[Kyra]

So many different people out there, I would love to know what these signals mean to you
(men and ladies)....

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...
A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.


Last question, historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

 

[kiwi_OT]

So many different people out there, I would love to know what these signals mean to you
(men and ladies)....

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...
A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.


Last question, historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

For 1. I'd say both A and B. A if I smile widely at you once and move on - that is me just facial saying hey! for it to be B I would be hanging around you smiling a lot saying facially - how you doin? lol.

For 2. it would be definitely A. Because I dont believe in leading people on for fun (cos it aint fun for them).

For the last question, I support all of them as a way of impressing me. That is if the guy was organising the date. My example, is of a guy I very much like comming to my town to see me, would I expect him to drive me around? Of course not! He wouldnt have a clue where he would go or where anything would be.
Sometimes, you have to forgo the traditional routes of chivalry and find other ways of showing your respect when the circumstances change.

 

[Matthew]

For me question 1 is usually answer A, I've always been shy so I try to at least present a positive image to others by not looking miserable.

For question B I don't know, it's strange because when I was young I was flirtatious and outgoing but I am less and less like that as years go by so I just don't do it anymore.

As for the chivalry question, it's hard to know how to behave these days because many independant women I have met have been quite annoyed and even offended when I have done things like that just as a natural reaction, but other times it is appreciated and I am told that is too rare these days.

 

[Leilaii425]

So many different people out there, I would love to know what these signals mean to you
(men and ladies)....

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...
A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.


Last question, historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

For me question one would be answer C. For question two. I did not see turretts up there so sometimes i randomly scream out. YOUR REALLY CUTE CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER PLEASE.

I like to drive, so i wouldnt mind driving, or picking up the check, wouldnt bother me.

 

[87dumpling]

For #1 = A
For #2 = B
For #3 = all "chilvalrous acts" appreciated

 

[Groundhog]

So many different people out there, I would love to know what these signals mean to you
(men and ladies)....

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...
A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.


Last question, historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

1.) There's no one right answer. I might smile because I'm in a good mood, or because I think she is cute. Most likely I'm smiling just to be friendly.

2.) Again, no one answer. Also, sometimes people think you are flirting when you are not. This relationship stuff is complicated business sometimes.

3.) There is nothing wrong with a woman paying for something or helping a guy put on his coat, just like there is nothing wrong with a guy opening a door for a woman or doing the driving. To believe that the man has to do all these things is just silly. Things like opening doors is common courtesy, but when it comes to money, there's no reason why the guy should do all the paying. I believe in an equal relationship. I mean, if the guy is a poor student and the girl is working full time and making a lot more money than him, it would just make sense for her to do more of the spending, just like if the guy is working full time and the girl is a poor student, it would make sense for him to do more spending. If they're both in the same boat financially, it makes sense for them to share the load equally. Our cultural norm is for the guy to pay and all that, but that doesn't mean it's the way it has to be or the way it should be. That being said, I usually ended up paying.

 

[ChristopherMichael]

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

Mostly A.

2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...

A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.

Mostly B. Could roll in to A depending on their personality, relationship status, etc.

Last question,

historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

Chivalry is the only way to go. Girls need to play their part as well, which is to be feminine, look nice, and do little things to help the guy out like wait for him to open her doors, unlock his car door from the inside after she's seated, etc.

- Topher

 

[ChristopherMichael]

Gah, my previous post got all jacked up for some reason. Pardon the eye-sore.

- Topher

 

[seoulsearch]

So many different people out there, I would love to know what these signals mean to you
(men and ladies)....

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

You caught me Kyra... I suffer from frequent facial ticks... ha!! Just kidding (I think... ignore the fact that my eye is twitching, please.)


2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...
A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.

I think it's sometimes hard to discern between being friendly and flirting... I can be guilty of either one, depending on the person I'm talking to, but I'm a straight-up person and if it were someone I really liked, I would eventually ask for a number/give mine out or ask if they'd like to grab something to eat or go to a movie. I guess I've found that's one advantage of getting older--you figure, eh, time is running out anyway, what do I have to lose? Ha ha.


Last question, historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

I personally love chivalrous acts... but as for paying--considering everything is so expensive these days, I always offer to foot my own tab. However... if a guy insisted on paying the first date, it definitely gets my attention. But if there are any more dates after that, I insist on at least paying my own way, and if it develops beyond that, I also insist on taking him out sometimes as my treat.

I personally feel it's not a good idea to let one person (the man or the woman) pay for most everything (I think it should be equaled out unless it's a serious relationship, as in an engagement or long-term) because in my experience, if one person pays for most everything, it usually leads to a lot of hurt feelings and sometimes makes the person paying more expect certain things from the person who is not paying as much.

Great questions, Kyra!!

 

[Kyra]

...sometimes makes the person paying more expect certain things from the person who is not paying as much.

Sad but true.

 

[ariannaaa]

Chivalry is the only way to go. Girls need to play their part as well, which is to be feminine, look nice, and do little things to help the guy out like wait for him to open her doors, unlock his car door from the inside after she's seated, etc.

- Topher

good answer.

 

[Kyra]

love all these answers, I will no longer consider random smiles to mean possible future dates! lol thanks everyone.

 

[Leilaii425]

none of this signals stuff! if you like someone be straight up and teeeelll them dont dance all around it!

 

[Groundhog]

none of this signals stuff! if you like someone be straight up and teeeelll them dont dance all around it!

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all just straightforward with each other?

 

[Leilaii425]

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all just straightforward with each other?

yes it would

 

[TiredInfantryman]

me i ignore all signs, I wait til they chase me down in a highspeed car chase, shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, and hold me at gun point when in wake up in long john silvers for our first fancy dinner date.

 

[seoulsearch]

me i ignore all signs, I wait til they chase me down in a highspeed car chase, shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, and hold me at gun point when in wake up in long john silvers for our first fancy dinner date.

Well, I would definitely put this under the "straightforward" category... when I meet a guy I'm interested in who seems worth of a high speed chase, tranquilizer, gun, AND Long John Silver's... I'll be sure to let y'all know. (Nothing says, "I'm interested in you" than a series of illegal maneuvers, the use of multiple weapons, and cheap fried fish.)

 

[Leilaii425]

me i ignore all signs, I wait til they chase me down in a highspeed car chase, shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, and hold me at gun point when in wake up in long john silvers for our first fancy dinner date.

how romantic!!!!! *sigh*

 

[Jullianna]

So many different people out there, I would love to know what these signals mean to you
(men and ladies)....

1.) You smile at a stranger of the opposite gender. Does it mean....
A.You are in a good mood
B. You think he/she is cute.
C. You have a facial tick.

2.) You make many flirtatious comments to someone of the opposite gender...
A.) You wouldn't mind getting a phone number.
B.) You are just having fun and don't mean anything by it.
C.) You never make flirtatious comments and this offends you to even consider it.


Last question, historically on a date, men drive, pay for the meal and open all doors and (if formal) even help the lady with her coat.

Do you think these "chilvalrous acts" are outdated or under appreciated? Should women start picking up the tab, driving and helping the men with their coats?

This thread looked interesting, so I revived it.

1. A - I generally smile at everyone - male and female. Just means I'm friendly. HOWEVER, a blushing, kinda BASHFUL smile given in return to a guy's smile is most definitely an "I think you're cute" smile.
2. A - I rarely intentionally flirt, so when I do, I mean it.

I only date gentlemen more than once, but I'm not a "the guy pays for everything type". If I am comfortable enough and have been dating a guy long enough to invite him somewhere, I have no problem with paying. Seems like the fair thing to do. And sometimes a guy's income level is less than the lady's, so, as long as the guy is not insulted by it, I don't have a problem with it. Gotta be careful not to offend him though...it can be a touchy subject...

 

[Liz01]

1. If i smile it means that (A) im in a good mood, besides that i dont flirt since too much time ago that if i try to flirt smiling maybe ppl think it is a facial tick
2. (B) Im just having fun and dont mean anything by it

And i like very much "chilvalrous acts", i like when men act like gentleman and i like when my friends do that as a gesture of kidness to me