Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[IloveyouGod]

iTOREtheSKY, no need to apologize and you are NOT being selfish. Sometimes I'm EXACTLY in this position. God cares for each one of us so uniquely. Just don't compare your adversity to other's. You don't really know their package. You know only yours.

Like I said, sometimes I feel the same n' I'd just shut down and all what I do is reading my bible or listening to a soft Christian song. Or speak to my Priest who is my father of confession and spiritual director. Or simply talk to God and tell him exactly how you feel. He knows already. But still, it will feel different when His son goes to Him n' talk. And if you have those times when you can't even talk cuz you've got nothing to say anymore. Tell God that in a short n' simple statement, n' have Him deal with it. He'll take it over and make you carry his burden that is A LOT lighter than your own.

I'll continue praying for you!

woke up this morning. i am allowing the cares of my pathetic world scare me. i desperately want to be strong in all of this but in the core of me i feel like i just cant take another day of this. i want to lay down and stop fighting. i know i won't,but that is 100% how i feel at this moment. i cant seem to focus on even putting dishes or mugs into a box...knocking on the neighbors door and asking them if they want or need things. i feel like i will burst into tears. i'm not someone who cries. yet i find right now that i can't even form a proper thought without wanting to emotionally breakdown.

part of me is so glad to finally be leaving this place...this state...in my heart,deep down,if i'm honest,i really don't want to go back to ny. it hasn't been my home in 15 yrs...so much has changed. theres a few people i want to see and spend time with but there's nothing truly there for me...i don't know anymore. i feel so freaking lost...displaced....the reality is hitting me so hard this morning & i don't even know why? my life could be worse. other people i know are in much tougher situations...why am i so selfish? i feel so helpless...i want to help others and yet i am a complete mess inside today. i feel trapped...still. what am i being crushed under...what is it that is so bad that i have allowed myself this morning to give in to?????

not sure if I can go out in public today...i think i might just stay in & put together the boxes i need to mail...get them ready to take to ups tomorrow or whatever.
i am being so random...i apologize. to be honest i don't know why i feel the need to lay bare all this to you.am i just that completely narcissistic?
i have to put on my mask. have to go out ...sit and get my hair cut...be polite and act like nothing is wrong. i'll have to make small talk with various people. i don't know how to let go today.

i just want to see my best friend. thats all i can think of this morning. they understand me...get me...always make me feel like there's hope. they're one of those people you meet in life that you know God has given you & placed in your life as a sort of tangible expression of his love for you. maybe thats a stupid way of describing it...i don't know. all i know is...ugh,I'll shut up now.

 

[GreenNnice]

Yes! What other lawful thing could have created this.....bane?




I'm sorry, that was petty, mean and uncalled for....


What other lawful thing could have created this pestilence?

Thatth muchth betthr duckth

 

[CatHerder]

was just at a farmer's market and flirted with the honey lady a bit. I didn't expect her to discount my local raw wildflower honey.

Next time imma gonna show some leg.

 

[GreenNnice]

* green just realizes his morning cereal gets doused with flax milk, so, he's hoping he can be in the flax muffins club, that is, the taster-of-the-muffins official club member position

 

[IloveyouGod]

So the Strangest thing happened to me today!!!!
I was at the bank machine. I saw that very old man who can barely move. Even using the wall a bit as a support when he's walking. Stood in front of the machine. Inserted his bank card and almost sticking his face to the screen in order to see. So I felt sorry for him n' I offered him my help. He said he forgot his eye glasses, so he can't see. His voice is so low, you'd have to get closer to him to hear what he's saying. I wanted to ask him to raise his voice a bit. But by looking at him, you feel like you can't ask for more than that, really!!

Anyway, he asked me if I can help him with his bank transaction and then take him home!!!! So I said, I can help you, and then call a cab for you. And I started to help him. And the weirdest thing happened!!!!! He started touching and rubbing my arm. I stepped away very quickly and I almost yelled at him, what a hell!!!! He kept looking at me like an idiot. I couldn't believe it a man in his age, his condition, who barely move or say one complete sentence, would do that!!!!!

So I said to him, you look like you're excused from your coffin. I can take you back to it if you want!!!
Still, he's not saying a word. I don't know if he understood what I said. I know he heard me cuz I was loud.

At the end his bank card got suspended by the machine because all of this time the card was in the machine and he's not doing anything.

So I told him your card is suspended and the bank is closed. Good luck!! N' I left.

Gush!!!! these people!!!! It would never have came to my mind he's messed up like that. And I would never think twice helping someone in his condition!! Now I'd have to think twice and three times!!

 

[kenthomas27]

well, men, isn't that something to look forward to....

 

[IloveyouGod]

Yeah, but seriously, if you have seen him. He's really excused from his coffin!!!!

well, men, isn't that something to look forward to....

 

[GreenNnice]

What if God wanted you to be Jesus to that man, IlyG ?


Sometimes, we entertain angels unaware, too.

Not saying good he touched your arm and all, but, yeah, I don't know, I can understand a girl's shock over that action. I'm not a girl and I would find that oddly weird if a guy did touch my arm , but, from the sounds of it, he was harmless, just not able to think through things clearly, perhaps.
I wouldn't say 'What the hell!!!' either. I would try to tame my words as much as I could,like, 'don't touch me like that!' it's just better on our spirits that way, the Lord leads, and, His Spirit is in our heart

 

[IloveyouGod]

He scared me GreenNnice. You could easily tell by him touching me was not right at all especially that he asked me before to take him home, which I found it so weird of him to ask me this!!!
You said it right, you are a man. Maybe you would have handled it differently. But I'm not gonna allow a man who could be a sex predator or not a sex predator to touch me and rub my arm like that....

What if God wanted you to be Jesus to that man, IlyG ?


Sometimes, we entertain angels unaware, too.

Not saying good he touched your arm and all, but, yeah, I don't know, I can understand a girl's shock over that action. I'm not a girl and I would find that oddly weird if a guy did touch my arm , but, from the sounds of it, he was harmless, just not able to think through things clearly, perhaps.
I wouldn't say 'What the hell!!!' either. I would try to tame my words as much as I could,like, 'don't touch me like that!' it's just better on our spirits that way, the Lord leads, and, His Spirit is in our heart

 

[MissCris]

Just in case I wasn't having enough fun with my afternoon (day...week...year...), I keep getting unpleasant surprises.

Black widow spiders crawling up my arm.
Phone calls from places I was pretty sure I did NOT owe any money to, telling me I owe them money.
Totally dead laptop.
Class ring up and disappeared.
Not anywhere near as many boxes/containers as I thought I had.

*sigh*

On the bright side..
I have chocolate.
And coffee.

 

[Missachu]

IloveyouGod,

I get weird vibes like that from certain people too. If you felt like he was touching your arm in that manner, it most likely means that he was. I've sat down and talked to older men who don't make me feel uncomfortable and range from this cool, awesome, live and let die adittudes to "I'm a sensitive guy who just wants a buddy that can talk on my intellectual level, let's be friends". Everyone has their own personality but that man didn't need to touch you.

I can say without a doubt that that man has plenty of curses on him for being how he is. When we live unrighteous lives our mind, bodies and souls get poisoned. When we look out just for ourselves our bodies degenerate at a faster rate. I'm not going to say he deserved it, I can't judge anyone especially since I don't know this mans life, but if he was making you feel uncomfortable then I don't blame you for your reaction. Mr.Green is right though, you should learn to react in a mature way. What you said and what you did don't portray you as a Christian lady at all. Next time you get those weird vibes from someone excuse yourself in a polite way and make a beeline far away.

But in a positive light, don't let anyone convince you otherwise of how your feeling. Or tell you that it's wrong. God granted us discernment for a reason. It's our radar that helps us navigate through tough situations. I hope your feeling better and the bad feelings have passed.

 

[GreenNnice]

He scared me GreenNnice. You could easily tell by him touching me was not right at all especially that he asked me before to take him home, which I found it so weird of him to ask me this!!!
You said it right, you are a man. Maybe you would have handled it differently. But I'm not gonna allow a man who could be a sex predator or not a sex predator to touch me and rub my arm like that....

True enough, the man just seemed harmless, forgot his glasses, seemed elderly acting even if he wasn't elderly looking(was he elderly?), and, just not real with it if he's asking you to help him do something as simple as do a bank card transaction.

But, I get what you're saying, too, especialy more so if I was a girl

I agree, too, I would not give a guy a ride in my car, that was the right answer for ANY girl. Guy, too, probably. Just best not to do that, I think.
One time, around 20 years ago now, I went to my cousin's soccer game and, afterward, an elderly guy walked up to me and started talking to me, can't remember exactly what we talked about but he said he would appreciate it if I could let him come to my place and stay. He smelled funny, he looked like Mr. Rogers, tall, wiry, and, was friendly, too. Roughly shaved and fuddy-duddy clothes, and, he looked about 80 years old.

So, he had a motorcycle and he followed me in my car to my place after the game. I took him to eat out a couple times, he had no money, as I recall, and, we talked about all sorts of stuff and really I enjoyed this guy's company. He stayed at my place a couple nights and then when he was getting ready to go. I asked him if I could have his address and phone number. He said, 'Sure, I live 3 hours away in Bellingham.' Great,' I said hoping we could get together with him sometime again .He roared away on his motorcycle and I waved goodbye.
A couple days later, I tried calling him and the phone number was non-existant and there was no such address.

This time was at such a time in my life that God was really working on me, I wasn't listening so much though, was doing my own thing.But, God used that encounter to get me to begin working, again, after a year of not working much at all.

I just wanted to say that story because, I don't know for sure, but, I may have been entertaining an angel unaware.

 

[lil_christian]

This is tonight's dinner. Since it's hard to find decent sounding recipes that are gluten-free, dairy free, and corn free (I'm not corn free, but my sister is. She's also gluten and oats-free.) So paleo recipes are become everyone's friend around here.

I've NEVER made this before, but it sounded kind of good. So this'll either be a flip or flop.

Mustard Balsamic Baked Chicken | Paleo Leap


Also, I thought of you, CatHerder when I saw this recipe since I know you're paleo. I think there's a couple others here that are paleo, too. I forgot who else is paleo. >.< Oh, I believe Iraasuup is! I haven't seen her on here in a while, though.

 

[Missachu]

This is tonight's dinner. Since it's hard to find decent sounding recipes that are gluten-free, dairy free, and corn free (I'm not corn free, but my sister is. She's also gluten and oats-free.) So paleo recipes are become everyone's friend around here.

I've NEVER made this before, but it sounded kind of good. So this'll either be a flip or flop.

Mustard Balsamic Baked Chicken | Paleo Leap


Also, I thought of you, CatHerder when I saw this recipe since I know you're paleo. I think there's a couple others here that are paleo, too. I forgot who else is paleo. >.< Oh, I believe Iraasuup is! I haven't seen her on here in a while, though.

I understand gluten-free since I recently made the jump, but CORN FREE? Corn dosen't hurt you >.> In fact, I've switched from canola oil to pure corn oil and my fried chicken and tortilla chips never tasted better!

 

[lil_christian]

I understand gluten-free since I recently made the jump, but CORN FREE? Corn dosen't hurt you >.> In fact, I've switched from canola oil to pure corn oil and my fried chicken and tortilla chips never tasted better!

If you have a corn sensitivity, it does hurt you. Same with oats. Corn will give her terrible acne. Dairy will do the same to me, along with giving me extremely dark circles under my eyes.

 

[IloveyouGod]

Yes, I see your point GreenNnice n' I agree with you and thank God you were not found dead by that perfect stranger

And actually God works with me like that sometimes when it comes to helping others because I see helping those who are in need is a merciful act that a true Christian should have it. I even pray for each and every disable or needy person I see on the street.

It's just in that situation, I guess you'd have to be there to feel it yourself. To see his looks n' feel him when he was feeling my arm first then rubbing it. Even though when I yelled at him and he was quietly looking at me, believe it or not, I saw a strange look in his eyes......one that was penetrating through me.....one that says, if I can only get a hold of you, I wouldn't let go. I guess without his glasses he can't see small fonts, but he can see me!! It was so creepy. Well, there's no age limit for sex predators now a days!!

True enough, the man just seemed harmless, forgot his glasses, seemed elderly acting even if he wasn't elderly looking(was he elderly?), and, just not real with it if he's asking you to help him do something as simple as do a bank card transaction.

But, I get what you're saying, too, especialy more so if I was a girl

I agree, too, I would not give a guy a ride in my car, that was the right answer for ANY girl. Guy, too, probably. Just best not to do that, I think.
One time, around 20 years ago now, I went to my cousin's soccer game and, afterward, an elderly guy walked up to me and started talking to me, can't remember exactly what we talked about but he said he would appreciate it if I could let him come to my place and stay. He smelled funny, he looked like Mr. Rogers, tall, wiry, and, was friendly, too. Roughly shaved and fuddy-duddy clothes, and, he looked about 80 years old.

So, he had a motorcycle and he followed me in my car to my place after the game. I took him to eat out a couple times, he had no money, as I recall, and, we talked about all sorts of stuff and really I enjoyed this guy's company. He stayed at my place a couple nights and then when he was getting ready to go. I asked him if I could have his address and phone number. He said, 'Sure, I live 3 hours away in Bellingham.' Great,' I said hoping we could get together with him sometime again .He roared away on his motorcycle and I waved goodbye.
A couple days later, I tried calling him and the phone number was non-existant and there was no such address.

This time was at such a time in my life that God was really working on me, I wasn't listening so much though, was doing my own thing.But, God used that encounter to get me to begin working, again, after a year of not working much at all.

I just wanted to say that story because, I don't know for sure, but, I may have been entertaining an angel unaware.

 

[Missachu]

If you have a corn sensitivity, it does hurt you. Same with oats. Corn will give her terrible acne. Dairy will do the same to me, along with giving me extremely dark circles under my eyes.

Oh wow. I get really dark circles too. I wonder if it's from corn....I understand the oats, oats are hard to digest and can give you an upset tummy.

 

[lil_christian]

Oh wow. I get really dark circles too. I wonder if it's from corn....I understand the oats, oats are hard to digest and can give you an upset tummy.

Might be from dairy or insufficient sleep. Unfortunately for me, it's both.

 

[GreenNnice]

I understand gluten-free since I recently made the jump, but CORN FREE? Corn dosen't hurt you >.> In fact, I've switched from canola oil to pure corn oil and my fried chicken and tortilla chips never tasted better!

Corn, the food, isn't real healthy for you, pikamischu. Reason: It is harder on the stomach than other foods, doesn't digest as well, get absorbed by all the stomach acids waging war on it

------------
God is good. My dog, I've told on here to you all was hurt back in late August, she came home from the woods walking limply and then when she got to the door she had to go up a little step and couldn't push off her back leg. So we waited a day. Not better. Went to the vet, took x-rays. Vet said she had knee problem, needed surgery. I went and did some praying, as a few thousand dollars for surgery is nothing to sneeze at and she said the other leg likely would sometime go out on her too because she would put more stress on it, favoring her good leg.
Anyway, I went to the internet, saw where there were folks saying surgery was not the only way, you could see how she does from icing her leg and massaging it and weaning her from leash walking to longer-walk leash walking to even longer walking by leash and no running. and absolutely no jumping! for the first few weeks, doctors orders and internet drs orders too . So, we did all that. Then, guess what? On week 5, in early October, she re-hurt her leg, jumping on the bed. I told her not to but she didn't listen to me
So, we were back to square one and again I was carrying her everywhere for a week because she didn't want to walk. Her knee, before this re-injury was not popping, as I remember, but, now, it was. I thought for sure, 'surgery,' but, just kept trusting in God and went back to the same routine and after a week she started walking on her own and so we incrementally increased her walking distances and by December she seemed in full leg health. But, we just kept on increasing her walking distances and kept praying about that popping noise too and in January we kept on increasing her walking, and, added rougher terrain to the schedule too.
PRAISE THE LORD ! She is now in her 2nd week of having been let outside on her own at night though I don't let her go far and she is running and doing her own thing now. I am just saying that I never doubted God, even LESS doubt after the RE-INJURY , though surgery was a reality I didn't doubt God could have me do. But, I believED God would heal her leg without surgery needed.

Faith! Faith! Faith! Whatever it is you have in your life, just give it to God and have faith that He will heal it. NO wavering. That's what Scripture says, too, if we have faith and it wavers we are like a wave tossing in the sea. Be strong and sturdy and stand like a mighty rushing wind,with faith in Christ to heal what is hurting you or someone ,or, something, you love . ALL things are possible with God , but, remember, these next words, 'FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE.'

 

[PopClick]

Yes! What other lawful thing could have created this.....bane?




I'm sorry, that was petty, mean and uncalled for....


What other lawful thing could have created this pestilence?

Speaking of petty, mean, and uncalled for... I once popped into the bible discussion forum to let them know that Paula Deen is the abomination of desolation. They did not appreciate this information.