i'm not sure if it's because i'm more comfortable around different types, but i don't entirely understand your response. please don't take this the wrong way, but you described this man as someone who can barely stand up and seems rather physically (and potentially mentally) infirm. trust me when i say, that i TOTALLY get the being weirded out--i can always do without the interruption of my personal physical space by a stranger. but i don't understand why your response was so extreme. maybe i'm more tolerant of elderly in general because i had such amazing grandparents, but i don't understand why you were so scared of him.
i've actually been in your exact situation and they're probably the only male adult population that doesn't frighten me to help them, since i'm fairly certain that i can take care of myself around a guy that can barely walk.
mind you, i'm not criticizing you, or suggesting you shouldn't feel a certain way. i'm not even saying you should have hung around and helped him. i'm just sorry that you were so scared of a man that was of so little of a threat to you (physically) and in a public space--no one should have to feel that way. i'm not a physically imposing girl or nurture any illusions that my cardio kickboxing workouts will keep me from the boogeyman. but i refuse to allow an elderly man who can barely stand up cause me to have fear of my safety or send me running away.
Just_monica, thank you for feeling sorry for how I felt about that man’s action. There’s no reason to take your words the wrong way. Maybe you just need to read what I said carefully. And read my responses to others that answer some of your points already.
I said he was “Barely moving” but he WAS moving. I did not say he can barely stand up and seems physically and potentially mentally infirm. So there’s no need to build on that assumption.
The man seemed to be in his end 60s and he WAS standing in front of the machine. End 60s is young, but he could have had other problem. I don’t know.
I find your assumptions too strong and assured for someone who was not even there to witness things first hand, but rather building your assumptions on what I said, which you already misunderstood it.
So your 2 assumptions of my response being “Extreme” and that my situation is “Exactly” like yours are both based on YOUR understanding to my situation. NOT based on what actually happened in my situation. I don’t think that’s an accurate or right judgement to make.
A man does not have to hit me or yell at me or abduct me to be a threat. This man was weak to do that. BUT, touching, feeling and looks was a sexual harassment, which is a wicked threat because it’s done so quietly and smoothly, which fits that man’s condition. So he was not of so little of a threat to me, like you said. But thank God, I was able to protect myself and did not allow things to escalate.
i understand reading back now that you have gotten some criticism about the way you have handled this, and i am not beating that drum here. this is not about attacking you or the manner in which you chose to handle the situation with the elderly guy. you asked me to read other's responses, and i have. i am not debating the appropriateness of your outward reaction or response to this guy's actions. everyone is entitled to their opinion, and when i post something here, i do so with the expectation that i am opening myself up to the feedback of my christian peers.
also, i'm sorry that you felt making incorrect assumptions (or putting words in your mouth). i thought i read them fairly clearly, but i also realize that almost any statement can look like two different things to two different people. for clarity, i underlined (some of) the words that led me to such a conclusion.
So the Strangest thing happened to me today!!!!
I was at the bank machine. I saw that very old man who can barely move. Even using the wall a bit as a support when he's walking. Stood in front of the machine. Inserted his bank card and almost sticking his face to the screen in order to see. So I felt sorry for him n' I offered him my help. He said he forgot his eye glasses, so he can't see. His voice is so low, you'd have to get closer to him to hear what he's saying. I wanted to ask him to raise his voice a bit. But by looking at him, you feel like you can't ask for more than that, really!!
Anyway, he asked me if I can help him with his bank transaction and then take him home!!!! So I said, I can help you, and then call a cab for you. And I started to help him. And the weirdest thing happened!!!!! He started touching and rubbing my arm. I stepped away very quickly and I almost yelled at him, what a hell!!!! He kept looking at me like an idiot. I couldn't believe it a man in his age, his condition, who barely move or say one complete sentence, would do that!!!!!
what i read in your words, especially in your (first) reply to Green is that you were "scared!".
perhaps i am again revealing my own story, but if there is one thing i can speak about with at least some authority is being scared by the actions of poorly behaving men, and how this affects a woman.
your being scared of this man who could "barely stand up" or "barely move" gave me pause. fear is an emotion of theft. it steals our peace of mind, it disrupts, it can even wound or scar. fear can change us in subtle, yet powerfully negative ways.
i don't know your background or enough about you to say
you shouldn't be afraid of the man you described in your original post. but i wanted to say that it's a shame that
any woman would be afraid for any reason while at the bank, much less for the incident you describe with an elderly man. in my own way, i wanted to suggest to you that perhaps you are stronger and more capable than you are giving yourself credit for. i don't believe in taking unnecessary chances or ignoring a gut instinct -- far from it. but i don't believe in giving away my emotional power (via fear) if i can help it.
i also apologize to everyone else for hijacking the light and breezy "streams thread"... : )
monica
p.s. congrats misty 777
