Valentine's Day Humor For Singles!!!

[Fenner]

Back in my day E Harmony was passing notes.

 

[zaoman32]

Back in my day E Harmony was passing notes.

If that's what we're going back to I need to send some ladies on here a message

If we were actually in the same place, and I asked you out to dinner, would you say:

a.) Yes
b.) No
c.) Maybe

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

Like any chick is gonna select B.) about going out to dinner with the Z-man...yeah right. psssssh

 

[zaoman32]

Like any chick is gonna select B.) about going out to dinner with the Z-man...yeah right. psssssh

I wanted to look humble, and at least give the illusion of choice though we all know the answer

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

You really are Descyple aren't you? lol

 

[zaoman32]

No...I've been this attractive for as long as I can remember...

I remember being in my aunts wedding at 4 or 5, and those flirty bridesmaids telling me how cute I looked. Even the men were jealous. The told me I looked sharp with a bright flame of jealousy in their eyes

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

I hope one day someone finds me that attractive.

Yer' kinda my hero.

 

[Fenner]

Someone posted this on Facebook, I thought it was funny.

 

[Descyple]

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when.......................... you send out a Valentine's Day card to someone that you really like, and that person sends it back to you in the mail with nothing but corrections to your spelling mistakes (my biggest mistake was sending it to her in the first place!!!).

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when.......................... you see Cupid fly by and you rip open your shirt, point at your heart and yell out "Shoot me right here, please, I beg you!!!" And Cupid says "Sorry chump, I'm out of arrows. Maybe next year!!!"

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when......................... the next year Cupid still doesn't have any extra arrows for you!!! (Cupid should buy his arrows in bulk from now on).

 

[Descyple]

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when.................. you sign up to E-Harmony, and after you create a profile the Founder of the site sends you a personal email saying "Even we can't help you find a match. Please leave our site".

 

[abbiejean]

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when.................. you sign up to E-Harmony, and after you create a profile the Founder of the site sends you a personal email saying "Even we can't help you find a match. Please leave our site".

Y'all need to issue spew alerts. LOL LOL

Thank you for that. Best one yet that's been posted.

 

[Jullianna]

...........

 

[kenthomas27]

Back in my day E Harmony was passing notes.

Back in your day safe sex meant having a padded headboard.

 

[Oncefallen]

...........

View attachment 71227

Be still my carnivorous heart....

 

[blueorchidjd]

 

[blueorchidjd]

'

 

[Fenner]

Back in your day safe sex meant having a padded headboard.

No, back then safe sex was not having a big back seat in your car.

 

[Lyta137]

you know you are single on valentines day when you have Jesus as your valentine...wait, that's me-oops...

 

[Descyple]

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when.......................... even your imaginary girlfriend doesn't show up for your date. (I bought a whole new outfit for nothing).

You know you're single on Valentine's Day when.......................... your phone rings and you anxiously pick it up and a woman with a very attractive and raspy voice begins speaking to you, but then you realize it's just your mom and she has a bad cold and sore throat. (I was so disappointed, I hung up on her without saying goodbye).

 

[YankeesGurl]

Did you seriously keep a neighbors valentines day card!!??!

Awesome contributions everyone! At least we will have our sense of humors to keep us company on Valentine's Day - lol.

Here are a couple more inspired by my single life:


You know you are single if on Valentine's Day.... you accidentally receive a Valentine's Day card in the mail meant for your neighbour, but you keep it for yourself and display it proudly on the mantelpiece!

You know you are single if on Valentine's Day.... you tell all your friends you have a hot date planned, but what you don't tell them is that you're talking about a date square you will be heating up in the microwave and eating by yourself.

You know you are single if on Valentine's Day... you plan a Valentine's Day Singles event, and you're the only person that shows up (awwww, that is so sad!).

You know you are single if on Valentine's Day... you purposely don't sign on to CC just to make people think you actually have a date (by the way, I won't be on CC on Valentine's Day, I'm just sayin!!!).