I rarely ever visit someones grave. Most people don't have a problem with that, but from time to time, I find someone that thinks it is horrible that I don't. My closest loved ones that have died are an older sister and my dad. I thin about them frequently, but just never saw any benefit in going to the grave and sitting there for a bit.
Some folks will say it is out of respect for them. I prefer to honor my dad's memory by trying to serve God. That is what he wanted. Once someone is dead they have no way of knowing you did, or didn't, visit their grave.
To the OP title: what for? I totally agree that there is NO benefit in going to a grave and sitting there for any length of time...to me that is a total Waste of time. Showing respect?? To a dead person?? A dead person that cannot receive? The living are to attend to the LIVING.
Ps 88 I am reckoned (considered to be) among those who go down to the pit;
I have become like a man without strength,
[SUP]5 [/SUP][SUP][e][/SUP]Forsaken among the dead,
Like the slain who lie in the grave,
Whom You remember no more,
And they are cut off from Your hand.
NIV v. 5"I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care."
We can see from scripture that there is to be "NO CARE" given to those that are dead. We are not to attend to the dead once they are buried. This is NOT to say say that we are not to remember them. But in reality, to speak to one in the grave is necromancy, which is forbidden. To give any kind of attention to the person in the grave....even flowers in my personal opinion... is a form of worship, not remembrance. Laying flowers at the grave is no different than laying any other kind of offering at grave or tomb. It is idolatry. Harsh words, true. But just how many things do people do that are, if studied and researched, that while are 'tradition' are in direct defiance to God's written word? No where in scripture does one find anyone putting anything but rocks over a grave. And that was ususlly done for one of two purposes: to mark the grave for the purpose of futute identification (such as a man wanting to be buried next to his already dead wife) or to prevent animals from tearing into the carcass.
My dad has been dead 5 or 6 years. I've been to his grave only once since then and then I wondered as I was there, WHY I was there. The going served no one and no purpose.
...oh...and for those that think they have to go to have some sort of closure or to deal with some sort of issue that was had with the dead person? FORGIVENESS can be done at home.
Maggie