Help: Virginity and Test Drive a Car Before You Buy It!

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

"Test Drive a Car before you Buy It?"

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 6.9%

  • No

    Votes: 27 93.1%
  • Total voters
    29
  • Poll closed .
Status
Not open for further replies.
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#41
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#41
BananaPie said:
Well, Misty, how exactly is the kind brother going to "splain" his holy participation upon the body of the godly sister he adores?

Have you considered that among the saints, these biological matters are expressed within the holy mind of Christ?

I'd freak-out faster than jet propulsion if a brother courting me would ask if I've ever been an assassin, or "how do you feel about cannibalism, sister?" Yikes! :D

Among the saints, it's already understood that you know, directly from the Bible, about the holy exchange in marriage. There is nothing new under the sun. :)
Click to expand...
There are diplomatic ways of discussing these things.
 
M

MidniteWelder

Guest
#43
#43
That awkward moment when you're mumbling out loud trying to remember what coitus is a technical term for...
and a customer walks in behind you. :confused:


---What'd you say?
Oh, what nothin' How can I help you
 
Last edited:
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#45
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
767
113
39
Australia
#45
I had no idea what was going on until I realised I was 3 pages in.
Wait til your married.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#46
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#46
Interesting and common question and mindset in regards to virginity, marriage, and dating in the West today.

I am a virgin and I don't mind. I guess I look at it different than people though. What is marriage? Through history peoples have developped systems of pairing men and women and it has always been a reoccuring thing in human history, every culture has its forms and ceremonies. Modern Western culture is of the cultural practice of exchanging rings and vows typically in a ceremony with much pomp. However these ceremonial roots are actually historically new by comparison of ceremonies and rites the accompany mariage.

I personally always felt like once you have sex with the girl you are now married. So one could say you can't "test drive it before you buy it" lol if you have sex with the woman you are now married to her. Can one even have sex before marriage; or is the it moreso once you two join you're joined for this life so be loyal? Just my personal perspective of it though. Interesting perspectives all around though
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#47
#47
Desdichado said:
There are diplomatic ways of discussing these things.
Click to expand...
Diplomacy is understood and becoming among the honorable ranks of the saints! :)

...and that's precisely the point! When a brother understands what a godly woman is and finds one to adore, do you really think he needs to further "discuss" what are her holy thoughts regarding coitus?

There's really nothing to know if he already knows she is holy. Anything she does will be within a "holy" mind-set, for Christ has become the Lover of her soul. :)

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30).
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#48
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#48
Some people do trade in their spouses for different makes and models, but that's not a good idea either.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#50
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#50
If we are going to take the analogy further, someone else would have to inspect them once a year...
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#51
#51
CatHerder said:
If both partners both have the appropriate "equipment," then they are physically compatible.

If the couple can talk about sex openly beforehand (once serious), and the kind of relationship one has with one's partner is pure, loving and giving, barring medical issues, there is no reason to be concerned that these things won't transfer over to the bedroom after marriage.
Click to expand...
Thank you, CatHerder, for letting me know not to be concerned that things won't transfer over to the bedroom!
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#52
#52
MidniteWelder said:
Your welcome my friend, great advice here from everyone
I should also add though, to leave room for God to surprise you.
Because he may just say "that's what you Thought you wanted, so I guess you don't want this one then right?":p
Like any gift the Lord gives, He often can have something greater in store than we anticipated.
So don't rush and be sure to wait upon his call and timing for you.
Click to expand...
Thank you, MidniteWelder! I will be sure to wait upon his call and timing. Sometimes we forget that is part of the equation :)
 
N

NightRevan

Guest
#53
#53
Hmm, well it's certainly created allot of posts (I wonder why these are often the popular ones :) ). I'll just say in my life (as I'm sure most people here) I've seen many people use this logic, and yet they still keep changing their models even though they seem to have enjoyed the ride. Somehow I don't think the plan seems to secure a drive with a life-long mileage allot of time, I suspect the strategy is flawed, and you might need to rethink it, and return to the older strategy of the Designer's manual :D
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#54
#54
Misty77 said:
I HIGHLY advocate discussing sex with your future spouse. Even the relationship in the Song of Solomon was sexual (though still remaining pure!!) before their marriage was consummated. We are sexual beings. Being godly doesn't mean that we turn that part off, but that we learn how to live holy lives while acknowledging (not indulging!!) our sexuality.

You can tell a lot about how a person is in bed by their authentic character. Someone considerate is still going to be considerate sexually. The same is true with selfish people, careless people, aggressive people, gentle people, etc. Just keep that in mind while dating. Granted, there are exceptions; but then I would suggest that maybe you are looking at who they appear to be, not who they genuinely are.

I find it illogical for a Christian not to discuss sex while choosing the one person they are ever allowed to do it with. "Normal" is relative. You both have to define what normal is to you and share anything that you think might not match up with that. It will be incredibly hard for a marriage to work if the spouses are on opposite extremes in terms of libido. One would always have to be acquiescing to the other (not necessarily a bad thing) instead of the two of them enjoying the gift of sexuality that God created for them. There is also some variation in equipment that may cause logistical issues; again, which should be discussed beforehand. Like with finances, procreation, religion, and in-laws, a couple should have full-disclosure discussions so both sides know what they are getting into instead of springing new information on an unsuspecting parting after the wedding reception. It kind of seems like a bait-and-switch scam otherwise.
Click to expand...
Thank you, Misty77! You bring a lot of wisdom and experience to this matter. You've opened my eyes to open and honest discussions on a variety of issues while dating and that I look forward to. I appreciate you taking the time to spell things out and encourage full-disclosure :)
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#56
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#56
NightRevan said:
Hmm, well it's certainly created allot of posts (I wonder why these are often the popular ones :) ). I'll just say in my life (as I'm sure most people here) I've seen many people use this logic, and yet they still keep changing their models even though they seem to have enjoyed the ride. Somehow I don't think the plan seems to secure a drive with a life-long mileage allot of time, I suspect the strategy is flawed, and you might need to rethink it, and return to the older strategy of the Designer's manual :D
Click to expand...
Consult Kelly Blue Book.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#57
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#57
faroukfarouk said:
There is also the spiritual equipment, which so many people overlook.
Click to expand...
That comment specifically addressed another post about physical compatibility. The rest of my post mentioned the relationship.

BananaPie said:
Why would a godly man need to talk these matters with the godly woman he intends to wed to shared holy thoughts upon an undefiled bed? ...just saying. :)
Click to expand...
As mentioned before, one half of the couple may have a much higher or lower libido than the other. Certain things may be agreed upon as "okay" for married couple to do in the bedroom, but one or the other may be uncomfortable with doing these things. I don't see anything wrong with talking about something that is assumed to be a regular part of their married relationship. I agree that this is not fodder for a "first date" conversation though. :p

kthespis said:
Thank you, CatHerder, for letting me know not to be concerned that things won't transfer over to the bedroom!
Click to expand...
I commented from my phone earlier - and I am not always clear when I do that, so please accept my apologies. What I meant was that if the couple treats each other lovingly and makes efforts to please the other partner in other aspects of their relationship while boyfriend/girlfriend or an engaged couple, what reason is there to assume that they would not treat each other lovingly and be willing to please their partner in lovemaking when that activity is added to the relationship after marriage?
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#58
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#58
CatHerder said:
That comment specifically addressed another post about physical compatibility. The rest of my post mentioned the relationship.

As mentioned before, one half of the couple may have a much higher or lower libido than the other. Certain things may be agreed upon as "okay" for married couple to do in the bedroom, but one or the other may be uncomfortable with doing these things. I don't see anything wrong with talking about something that is assumed to be a regular part of their married relationship. I agree that this is not fodder for a "first date" conversation though. :p


I commented from my phone earlier - and I am not always clear when I do that, so please accept my apologies. What I meant was that if the couple treats each other lovingly and makes efforts to please the other partner in other aspects of their relationship while boyfriend/girlfriend or an engaged couple, what reason is there to assume that they would not treat each other lovingly and be willing to please their partner in lovemaking when that activity is added to the relationship after marriage?
Click to expand...
It's kind of like the physical should really be subsumed into the couple's whole personalities, and harmony in faith matters, right?

Blessings.
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#59
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#59
just_monicat said:
... if you don't value obedience to God, or your own relationship with Him, perhaps you should think about the ramifications your actions might have on this girl.
...
Click to expand...
PS: Re-reading, it's the vertical consideration that comes first (Godward) rather than the horizontal (inter-personal).
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#60
#60
*sits down in driver's seat, fastens seat belt*

"Yeah, okay. Alright now."

*puts keys in ignition, pauses, sniffs*

"Uhhh, kinda doesn't have the uh...'new car' smell."

*glances at odometer...27,000 miles*
*double take*
*lean out the door to yell at dealer*

"Hey man, I said I was here to test drive a new car!"
"That is a new car!" smiles the dealer. "Hasn't been sold once."
"Man, this thing has a metric buttload of miles!"
"Well yeah. Lots of test drives."

Suddenly, the analogy sounds even WORSE, neh? People and cars are not analogous. People can learn and adapt. Cars cannot. People can compromise and accommodate. Cars cannot.

The Ex and I were very communicative. She was my first (and only) sexual parter, and we did not lack for satisfaction, despite my inexperience. That's because people who communicate with each other and love each other will learn through experience and focus on the needs of the one they love.

Name the last time a car took the time to talk with you and adapt to your needs and desires in order to draw closer to you.

Sooooo...we're done here, yeah? *smirk*
 
Status
Not open for further replies.