Help: Virginity and Test Drive a Car Before You Buy It!

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"Test Drive a Car before you Buy It?"

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 6.9%
  • No

    Votes: 27 93.1%

  • Total voters
    29
  • Poll closed .
Status
Not open for further replies.
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#61
I would think it more appropriate to have a conversation about those issues, preferences, etc, when you are at the point in your relationship that you're thinking about marriage.
Timing means a lot. 'Appropriate' is a good word.
 

ChosenbyHim

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2011
3,343
113
63
#62
Yes, I'm back with my questions on virginity :) And I appreciate everybody's help on my last question. I have a dilemma I really need to work out in my head. I've lost count how many people have told me I need to have sex with the woman I am dating before we get married or basically test drive the car before I buy it.

Hi there Kthespis, you can just reject what all those people told you then. Because they simply don't know what they are talking about.

Get your counsel from the word of God. The Bible has the solution to your dilemma:



1 Corinthians 7:1-2 KJV
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.



1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [19] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [20] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.


Ephesians 5:5-7 KJV
For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. [6] Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. [7] Be not ye therefore partakers with them.


2 Timothy 2:22 KJV
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.


Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
 
Feb 10, 2014
141
46
28
#63
I've heard that advice from non-Christians before and frankly, I passed it off as simply (and I apologize in advance for my coarseness) complete and utter BS. It's just an excuse to fool around and does no justice to the Word.
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#64
*sits down in driver's seat, fastens seat belt*

"Yeah, okay. Alright now."

*puts keys in ignition, pauses, sniffs*

"Uhhh, kinda doesn't have the uh...'new car' smell."

*glances at odometer...27,000 miles*
*double take*
*lean out the door to yell at dealer*

"Hey man, I said I was here to test drive a new car!"
"That is a new car!" smiles the dealer. "Hasn't been sold once."
"Man, this thing has a metric buttload of miles!"
"Well yeah. Lots of test drives."

Suddenly, the analogy sounds even WORSE, neh? People and cars are not analogous. People can learn and adapt. Cars cannot. People can compromise and accommodate. Cars cannot.

The Ex and I were very communicative. She was my first (and only) sexual parter, and we did not lack for satisfaction, despite my inexperience. That's because people who communicate with each other and love each other will learn through experience and focus on the needs of the one they love.

Name the last time a car took the time to talk with you and adapt to your needs and desires in order to draw closer to you.

Sooooo...we're done here, yeah? *smirk*
Wow, brilliantly put, Shouryu. You're right... "people and cars are not analogous. People can learn and adapt. Cars cannot..." You really provided a clear picture of the situation. Thanks for taking the time to paint a picture.
 
K

kthespis

Guest
#65
Hi there Kthespis, you can just reject what all those people told you then. Because they simply don't know what they are talking about.

Get your counsel from the word of God. The Bible has the solution to your dilemma:



1 Corinthians 7:1-2 KJV
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.



1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [19] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [20] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.


Ephesians 5:5-7 KJV
For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. [6] Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. [7] Be not ye therefore partakers with them.


2 Timothy 2:22 KJV
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.


Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Thank you, ChosenbyHim. 5 great scriptures I can use and study as reference points. I appreciate you leading me to the source to draw strength!
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#66
I've heard that advice from non-Christians before and frankly, I passed it off as simply (and I apologize in advance for my coarseness) complete and utter BS. It's just an excuse to fool around and does no justice to the Word.
BS? Nothing wrong with calling something for what it is - Bat Sausages. ;)
 

ChosenbyHim

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2011
3,343
113
63
#67
Thank you, ChosenbyHim. 5 great scriptures I can use and study as reference points. I appreciate you leading me to the source to draw strength!

Absolutely Kthespis, you are welcome.

To God and His holy word be all the glory.
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#69
Yes, I'm back with my questions on virginity :) And I appreciate everybody's help on my last question. I have a dilemma I really need to work out in my head. I've lost count how many people have told me I need to have sex with the woman I am dating before we get married or basically test drive the car before I buy it.

Is there truth to this? If you are going to a car dealership and see a great car, would you not test drive it first to see if it is up to your standards and needs? Is there a risk that we might not be physically compatible? Should this be a concern?
Like any product that you are not satified with, you can return it and get your money back usually within 30 days. A marriage of a very short duration is pretty similar (no refund) in many states. If one or both partners decide he or she has enough, can file for an anullment which is basically an instant divorce. I believe 90 days or less is the general requirement in some states. It varies state to state. So if you marry and she decides she does want sex or for whatever reason, you can file for an anullment. I agree with those posters who said that you should not be overly concerned with sex as a requirement. My sister married her present husband as a virgin within 6 months after dating and they will be celebrating their 38th year of marriage. I am not a lawyer but have some knowledge on the issue.
 
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Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#70
Like any product that you are not satified with, you can return it and get your money back. And a marriage of a very short duration is pretty similar (no refund) in many states. If one or both partners decide he or she has enough, can file for an anullment which is basically an instant divorce. I believe 90 days or less is the general requirement in some states. It varies state to state. So if you marry and she decides she does want sex or for whatever reason, you can file for an anullment. I agree with those posters who said that you should not be overly concerned with sex as a requirement. My sister married her present husband as a virgin within 6 months and they will be celebrating their 38th year of marriage. I am not a lawyer but have some knowledge on the issue.
..but it's degrading to women to treat them as a business commodity to be dropped when convenient, whereas one has promised before God and men to have and to hold.
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#71
..but it's degrading to women to treat them as a business commodity to be dropped when convenient, whereas one has promised before God and men to have and to hold.
It goes both ways because some of these women will hustle their spouses to the poorhouses by taking advantages to divorce laws that benefit them. Many of them are by no means ... innocent.
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#72
This thread should be retitled "Stuff You Never Thought You'd See Christians Say"

ugh..........................
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#73
After reading the four pages here I feel a little confused. I don't know how I would feel with discussing sex with my boyfriend, or fiancè. It's a touchy topic. I would feel kinda weird asking him ''So....are you okay with so and so, and how often do you want to do that, and how, etc?'' It feels strange just to think about it.:confused: Isn't knowing the basics enough? like no adultery, reciprocity, liberty on the non-issues. And I would also think knowing if there is any sexual past a must before marriage. But besides from that, do we really need to know more about the subject before marriage?
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#74
After reading the four pages here I feel a little confused. I don't know how I would feel with discussing sex with my boyfriend, or fiancè. It's a touchy topic. I would feel kinda weird asking him ''So....are you okay with so and so, and how often do you want to do that, and how, etc?'' It feels strange just to think about it.:confused: Isn't knowing the basics enough? like no adultery, reciprocity, liberty on the non-issues. And I would also think knowing if there is any sexual past a must before marriage. But besides from that, do we really need to know more about the subject before marriage?
In America we need to know as much as possible about the opposite sex because many are "raving wolves" in sheepskins. In this country, it is really about the mighty American Dollar, and a great deal of that filter through divorces. IMHO, if there is a raving wolf dressed in sheep skin, it is imperative to make the corrections, adjustments and etc. as quick as possible because you can become penniless very quickly. Many American men & women are scamming one another every day especially through these tough times..
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#75
In America we need to know as much as possible about the opposite sex because many are "raving wolves" in sheepskins. In this country, it is really about the mighty American Dollar, and a great deal of that filter through divorces. IMHO, if there is a raving wolf dressed in sheep skin, it is imperative to make the corrections, adjustments and etc. as quick as possible because you can become penniless very quickly. Many American men & women are scamming one another every day especially through these tough times..
I don't see how the sexual side of the relationship has anything to do with identifying a ''raving wolf''. If anything, that is revealed through character and through actions, not through sexual preferences.
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#76
I don't see how the sexual side of the relationship has anything to do with identifying a ''raving wolf''. If anything, that is revealed through character and through actions, not through sexual preferences.
You probably won't understand because you aren't familar with American culture. The American posters will know exactly what I am chatting about. Domestic violence , pregnancies & STD's are just three of many issues dealing with "raving wolves."
 
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Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#77
Well, Misty, how exactly is the kind brother going to "splain" his holy participation upon the body of the godly sister he adores?

Have you considered that among the saints, these biological matters are expressed within the holy mind of Christ?

I'd freak-out faster than jet propulsion if a brother courting me would ask if I've ever been an assassin, or "how do you feel about cannibalism, sister?" Yikes! :D

Among the saints, it's already understood that you know, directly from the Bible, about the holy exchange in marriage. There is nothing new under the sun. :)
Except that really doesnt cover likes and dislikes during sexual activities. Unless you have some misconception that sex only follows a strict series of instructions. But different people do like different things sexually and can be completely incompatible.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#78
As for Song of Solomon, the conservative teaching of that Book is the loyal relationship between Jesus and His Bride.
Yeah true, but since when has conservative been a good thing?
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#79
You probably won't understand because you aren't familar with American culture. The American posters will know exactly what I am chatting about. Domestic violence , pregnancies & STD's are just three of many issues dealing with "raving wolves."
Well the culture shouldn't matter here. Here and everywhere people should judge someone's true identity by what we call ''red flags'' in personality. I don't know my friends' sexual preferences, and I can tell how they would act during certain situations. So again...I don't see the relevance of discussing sex (the way I explained) in order to know if someone is a hypocrite or not. That's something you notice with personality and behavior. Also, I've been living in the US for three years, I don't think our cultures are that different on that matter.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#80
After reading the four pages here I feel a little confused. I don't know how I would feel with discussing sex with my boyfriend, or fiancè. It's a touchy topic. I would feel kinda weird asking him ''So....are you okay with so and so, and how often do you want to do that, and how, etc?'' It feels strange just to think about it.:confused: Isn't knowing the basics enough? like no adultery, reciprocity, liberty on the non-issues. And I would also think knowing if there is any sexual past a must before marriage. But besides from that, do we really need to know more about the subject before marriage?
There shouldn't be anything you can't discuss with someone you intend to marry as long as you discuss it in a respectful manner. The discussion doesn't have to be crude.

Keep in mind that one person's "basic" might be something out of a biology textbook, while another's "basic" might be the entire Kama Sutra.

When you marry someone your body is no longer your own (1 Cor 7:3-5). You are going to learn things about a man you never imagined once you marry. They will learn more about a woman than they ever imagined as well. Some of which you both may wish you hadn't. :)

You learn together. You grow together. You care for one another. You please one another. You discuss things, even things that are difficult or make you uncomfortable. That's how intimacy grows. It's intimacy that truly connects you, not necessarily the sexuality. Good communication is key to intimacy. It's important to gauge that before you marry. Respectfully.
 
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