I heard that!

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Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#1
Jan 26, 2013
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#1
The other night I went grocery shopping after work. I was behind a young man and woman in line. I over heard this conversation:

Man: I met her on line, she's great!

Woman: Have you talked on the phone, skyped or seen a picture of her yet?

Man: Talked on the phone and I've seen her picture.

Woman: Are you sure she's a woman? You know what happened last time.

Man: Yes she's a woman, this is different.

Woman: Are you sure? Did she sound like a woman? I don't want what happened last time to happen again.

Man: Well I'm pretty sure she's a woman.



They left and the cashier and I started laughing.

What weird things have you over heard?
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#2
Feb 18, 2013
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#2
HAHAHAHA! That is awesome. I'll come back later and share if I think of any funny ones of my own. :)
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#3
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#3
I think I laughed all the way home Love. That was so funny. I really hope for his sake that she's a woman.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#5
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
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#5
I was at a department store, and I overheard two women talking. They both had valley girl accents. I live in California, so that's not surprising.


Woman 1: I weighed myself before my workout, and then I worked out, like, super hard. Lots of icky sweat.

Woman 2: Ewww, I hate that.

Woman 1: I know, right? Anyway, I weighed myself afterwards, and I lost 5 ounces. The workout was SO worth it.

Woman 2: I can totally tell you lost 5 ounces. You look thinner.



I just stood there and stared at them. They stared back for a moment before I turned away. I considered saying something to them, but I could only think of mean things to say. Such as...


"How stupid are you? That's called water weight."

"You sound like Paris Hilton. Nope, not a compliment."

"You can't tell if someone lost 5 ounces by looking at someone. How do I know? It's called science."
 
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P

paulsfam4

Guest
#6
#6
this was several years ago but a totally true story...I was driving through town pulled up to a truck with its flashers on I got out and asked the guy if he needed a hand and he got out of his truck and he was missing one of his hands. I had to laugh to myself about it! but I apologized to him.
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#7
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
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#7
DuchessAimee said:
I was at a department store, and I overheard two women talking. They both had valley girl accents. I live in California, so that's not surprising.


Woman 1: I weighed myself before my workout, and then I worked out, like, super hard. Lots of icky sweat.

Woman 2: Ewww, I hate that.

Woman 1: I know, right? Anyway, I weighed myself afterwards, and I lost 5 ounces. The workout was SO worth it.

Woman 2: I can totally tell you lost 5 ounces. You look thinner.



I just stood there and stared at them. They stared back for a moment before I turned away. I considered saying something to them, but I could only think of mean things to say. Such as...


"How stupid are you? That's called water weight."

"You sound like Paris Hilton. Nope, not a compliment."

"You can't tell if someone lost 5 ounces by looking at someone. How do I know? It's called science."
Click to expand...
Paris Hilton would not receive an honorary doctorate in diet science... Her talents probably lie elsewhere.

I heard this someplace, years ago:

Worker 1: Did you know that more working days are lost through the effects of drink than through strikes?

Worker 2: Well, yeah, this proves something, doesn't it?

Worker 1: What's that?

Worker 2: Well, it proves we ought to go on strike more, right?

Worker 1: Well, yeah...
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#8
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
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#8
Like DuchessAimee, I also had an accidental "overhearing" of a highly unusual (and unintentionally funny) conversation between two valley girls here in Toronto.

I was on the subway, and two valley girls got on the subway and stood near me and immediately started discussing (in a very serious manner) how much they loved their "George Foreman" cooking grills. I swear I am not joking about this.

This happened a few years ago, but I can recall snippets of their conversation which went something as follows (and please imagine them saying all this in their "Valley" dialect).

Valley Girl #1 - "Oh my gosh, have you tried making sandwiches on your new George Foreman grill? I have and they are like super awesome!"

Valley Girl #2 - "I know, right. I used it to make a grill-cheese sandwich and it was totally the best grill-cheese I've ever had. Seriously!"


Their conversation went on much longer than that, and it took every ounce of inner strength I had not to start bursting out laughing at them. But I cannot deny their strong and intense passion regarding their George Foreman Grills. George himself would be proud of them!!!

 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#9
#9
The area i live in is........interesting, so i've heard and seen a lot of stuff.

I've heard a lady talking on the phone telling the man on the other end he was not her babys daddy. (exact words)

I heard a woman on the phone talking to her boyfriend telling him he's so old everyone thinks he is her father and how they don't need to celebrate valentines day because everday is valentines day for them. <-----ewwww
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#10
May 23, 2009
16,208
5,181
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#10
Due to various circumstances, I've been living with my parents for the past 5 months. Since we're all not used to being in such close proximity, they sometimes lower their voices in order to try to keep things out of earshot, but I can usually figure out what they're talking about and will ask a question about it anyway. They've gotten to the point where they now throw their hands up in frustration and say, "We must have set off the radar in her bat ears!!"

The thing is, it's not that I can hear all that particularly well (I SAID, I CAN'T HEAR ALL THAT WELL.) It's just that I know my parents.

Right now we are preparing to move into separate residences, and I've been helping them with a lot of painting and cleaning. A few days ago I was in a room across the house painting and I "heard" my Mom and Dad make some kind of "highly suggestive" flirtatious comments to each other, to which I shouted, "HEEEELLLOOOO!!! CHILDREN PRESENT!!!" and they just laughed. "There goes Little Miss Bat Ears again," my Mom said.

The funny thing is, I didn't even hear what they said. All I heard was a half-whispered exchange in toned-down voices... and peals of laughter. I told my Mom I didn't hear the exact words that were spoken... BUT, what I DID hear was my parents unmistakable "naughty" laugh. (Hey, they've been married 47 years, I guess they're allowed to make suggestive comments to each other. :)) This, of course, made her chuckle because, she said, she didn't even realize they HAVE a "naughty laugh."

These are the times I smile to myself but feel all the more wistful that someday I'll find someone to marry that I know so well that we don't even have to hear all the words... and we develop our own "laugh" too. I would hope that after 47 years (even though I know for my age, that's not really a possibility), I'd still be flirting with my spouse, too.
 
J

just_monicat

Senior Member
#11
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
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#11
nauseating phone conversations i wish i didn't hear #5755345757654656

last weekend at the grocery store. twenty-somethng girl on phone:

hi, i'm just calling you to say hi and tell you that i miss you.

do you miss me?

no, i'm just saying i miss you. do you miss me?

no, i mean right now.

well, do you ever miss me?

that's not what i am asking you! do you miss me right now?

oh fine!

...ok, well, i'll call you as soon as i'm done grocery shopping.



 
J

just_monicat

Senior Member
#12
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#12
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
The area i live in is........interesting, so i've heard and seen a lot of stuff.

I've heard a lady talking on the phone telling the man on the other end he was not her babys daddy. (exact words)
Click to expand...
a couple months ago, a young woman was discussing with whom i can only assume is her pregnant friend about who they HOPE is the dad of said baby, and went on to begin compare/contrast positives & negatives of each of the two possible dna contributor, all while we were ambling about in the produce section.

it was so weird.

some conversations should never be uttered out loud.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#13
#13
just_monicat said:
some conversations should never be uttered out loud.
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I was sitting in a waiting room last week, along with a guy I didn't know and an elderly couple who felt the need to tell us about their recent experience at a nude beach. Neither the guy nor I said a word. We just gave one another that "way TMI" look after they were gone.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#14
#14
I can't even begin to tell you all the disturbing conversations that I could never un-hear @ my old job in Maine. The stuff these people would talk about in the break room was nothing short of jaw dropping.

One of the last convo's I overheard was about how this woman's daughter was dating a black guy now & they had just had a baby. She was telling these other co-workers about how cute the baby was even though he was mixed race,and how her daughter's boyfriend is nice even though he's black...which was surprising to her,and she's still a bit suspicious of him.

I kinda couldn't believe what I was hearing,let alone how flippantly they were all laughing & discussing this. You'd have thought by now I'd have gotten used to ignorance being 43 years old,but it still does my head in & I have to hold my tongue when I hear people talking such absolute garbage.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#15
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#15
My friends and I have sometimes deliberately had odd conversations on the elevator, so I'm probably one of the people you've heard.

All the things I can think of are family issues, most of them sexual in nature that the rest of the world definitely didn't need to know about.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#16
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
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#16
Fenner said:
The other night I went grocery shopping after work. I was behind a young man and woman in line. I over heard this conversation:

Man: I met her on line, she's great!

Woman: Have you talked on the phone, skyped or seen a picture of her yet?

Man: Talked on the phone and I've seen her picture.

Woman: Are you sure she's a woman? You know what happened last time.

Man: Yes she's a woman, this is different.

Woman: Are you sure? Did she sound like a woman? I don't want what happened last time to happen again.

Man: Well I'm pretty sure she's a woman.



They left and the cashier and I started laughing.

What weird things have you over heard?
Click to expand...
I know someone once while my family was in Walmart, someone called out, "Marco!" and Mom replied, "Polo!" and they totally freaked out. XD
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#17
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#17
That's funny Lil Christian!

One day at the Zoo with my children I was standing next to this woman at Tiger exhibit. She was loudly talking on her cell phone and said to who ever, "It's just a fungus not a virus, I'm fine." I said to my kids, let's move on.

I wish people would use discretion on cell phones.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#18
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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48
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#18
Fenner said:
That's funny Lil Christian!

One day at the Zoo with my children I was standing next to this woman at Tiger exhibit. She was loudly talking on her cell phone and said to who ever, "It's just a fungus not a virus, I'm fine." I said to my kids, let's move on.

I wish people would use discretion on cell phones.
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Oh my. o_O I would have done the same.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#19
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
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#19
Wal-Mart is great for free entertainment. Well, not free... you pay for it at the cash register I suppose.

There used to be a man who shopped at our local WM who would sing opera the whole time he was in there. I mean, he would belt it out at the top of his lungs. You could hear him all over the store. The shoppers would just look at one another and smile. It was strange and surreal and very cool.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#20
#20
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Wal-Mart is great for free entertainment. Well, not free... you pay for it at the cash register I suppose.

There used to be a man who shopped at our local WM who would sing opera the whole time he was in there. I mean, he would belt it out at the top of his lungs. You could hear him all over the store. The shoppers would just look at one another and smile. It was strange and surreal and very cool.
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That would be better than the most common music played there:

[video=youtube;5IM1p-Tn-jA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IM1p-Tn-jA[/video]

Is it just me or does it seem like he was provoking her a little bit? :(
 
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