I was bullied first by my dadeven before I could walk, fear and intimidation was his cruelty, and I beleive to this day that this is why Jesus was close to me so early in life.
For it was His comforting presance that sustained me, and helped me to keep from becoming hardened.
School was no different, I was that child that was teased relentlessly, and bullied everyday.
Why is still hard to understand, maby I was just broken already, and an easy target.
I hid in a tree in the corner of the play ground, spent my days talking to Jesus, pouring out to Him my saddness.
He remained with me through that time, giving me a heart of humility and mercy, instead of bitterness.
I did struggle though, at age 7, I did consider taking my life, and often begged Jesus to take me home to Him.
Maby I was just different, wierd, who knows.
But it seemed that my childhood was filled with not just my own struggles, but I was witness to even the greater struggles of others.
The day did come when I was so defeated, asking Jesus, why didnt you remove all that happened, how does one keep going when ones heart has been shattered beyond repair.
His answer was simple, I remove the broken heart and give you a new one, one born of my heart in you.
I found peace then.
Looking back now, yes there were many scars.
But when ever I consider such things, I recall something I witnessed not long ago.
We were visiting family in a fruit farming community, and as we drove by one of the farms, I saw a man hitting a tree with a chain.
I ask why this was done?
The answer was? that a tree will produce a better and greater amount of fruit when it is scared, than the tree that is not.
I realised it is not about the reasons why, or the injury, but about Gods work and glory done in us.
For it is in our weaknesses that Gods power is made perfect, glorified!
In Jesus, God bless
pickles