Did God lie???????

[RachelP03]

Im struggling. I have walked with God my whole life and remember 2 times getting mad at God. One time when my mom was dieing when I was a teenager and the 2nd time was when my ex husband cheated and left me. Though I didnt get really mad at God for the 2nd one, because I knew my husband made that choice, but was upset, because we waited till marriage and did it the right way and I still felt like I got screwed over. So that bring us to today. Last August, I was fine and content in life, not even looking for a man. Low and behold, this man walks in my life. I was NOT looking for him nor ready to be with him. I didnt even pray about it because to me it wasnt an option. I hung out with him, got to know him and he wanted to see if things could work out with us and he asked me to pray about it, for God to either open or close the door. I agreed and the next morning woke up and prayed for the situation to either happen or not, but I was allowing God to handle it, pretty much. That morning, just a few hours later, I was at work and my friend texted me, who never saw or heard me talk about him, other than us going on dates and hanging out, said.....I dont know what it is about that Brian guy, but I think your going to marry him......later she told me that God laid on her heart that this was the last guy I was going to date and that we were going to have children.


Whats weird is God started to tear down walls that I had built up from the pain I had gone through, and I was slowly building them back up, but God was tearing them down faster. I remember before this guy walked into my life, I was praying for the next guy that I get into a relationship with is the next guy I marry. About a week later into the relationship, I felt God tugging at my heart again, this time he reminded me a list I made after my husband left me, of what I want my next husband to be, The first day I ignored it and the next day while sitting with my friend at dinner, I pulled it out of my purse that has been traveling with me for 3 years that I forgot I had, and handed it to her to read. Each time she read one, she would say his name after because he was everything off that list, but one thing, which there were about 30 of them on there. I even had added 3 more in my head, which was weird, because I wanted to marry a guy named Brian Adam, and his name was Brian Allen...... Later that day, I met up with him and I handed him the list and walked away. He laughed and said where are you going, and I said, just read the list. After he read the list, he smiled and handed it back to me. Later he told me, thats the night GOd told him I was the one for him, and if i look back, I can see how God was telling me he was the one for me, because I was in denial and thats why I walked away.

All the pieces started to fall together. We started praying together and praying for each other and I prayed for a month before saying yes, because I knew that was going to be it and i wanted to make sure this was the man God had for me. So skipping forward, We arnt together right now. We had alot of issues in our relationship, I brought alot of baggage over and needed to work on me alot, which I knew I struggled with. Im going to therapy, with my past hurts, but in a way I feel like God has lied to me. This guy dosent talk to me and dont want to talk to me, but even my relationship with God is very rocky and I hate it. I dont blame God for Brian walking away, but I know what I felt, and everytime I prayed and asked God if this is my husband, I hear and heard YES. I know God can do anything, but sometimes I do question if I want to be with a man who leaves. He says he is working on himself and Gods relationship, but I wonder if that was just a cop out to get out of this relationship. I guess im struggling with why GOd would tell me something and now it looks like its not happening. I would of never gotten into this relationship, for this to happen.........

 

[njihiafrancis]

Have faith dear sister...God always has a plan...remember the trials Job went through and if you compare with what he underwent, your's is least painful..have trust and faith in God always and remember, Jesus loves you more than anyone else

 

[DarlinNadia]

Two Things to consider.

1. Satan is *VERY* clever
2. Some people are with us for a season... once that season is over... it's over. It may be now for you trust God more than ever. He can do anything. Including bring Brian back into your life. But, remember, if God removes something from your life, let it go... do not hold onto it or your fingers will get broken and it hurts a whole lot more.

Keep it in prayer. Demanding God gives a sign often times has worked badly for me in the past.. because I want something so bad I'm willing to accept a sign from Satan and assume it's from God. God straightens paths, he does not make you WORK for love.. Love is given freely, you do not have to seek it out, it finds you.

To sum it up: Love is not something you have to earn, chase, or work for in life. If you have to perform .. it is not love. Love stays even when you screw things up royally. If it leaves, it is not love. Love is a Gift -- yours to keep not cage.

And that stupid phrase, if you love something set it free and if it comes back to you it was always yours to begin with is a stupid MANMADE lie. Cause if you cage it when it comes back, it will molt and die in it's own misery becasue it's trapped in some hell it did not choose on its own freewill

Love is free and does not fade.

edit: GOD DOES NOT LIE.. CONSIDER THE SOURCE

 

[nw2u]

If you get healthier from the counseling, won't you be a different person? Won't your list then, be slightly different? Just a thought. I don't claim to know.

 

[DarlinNadia]

If you get healthier from the counseling, won't you be a different person? Won't your list then, be slightly different? Just a thought. I don't claim to know.

Well said. I have found as I've grown in Christ or Out of Christ(currently separate issue) but either way, my 'list' has changed so drastically that I no longer even keep a list.

Growth promotes Change

 

[RachelP03]

Honestly I feel as of my list is so close to the kind of man my heart desires....Brian is a 28 year old virgin who has waited which I did too....we Were born and raised the same way and values......same church upbringing.....we even Were born on the same day and year. If only y'all knew Exactly what I felt when God was tearing my walls down for this man. I feel like I have no faith that we could ever be together. It's not Brian himself.....it's my walk with God KNOWING what he told me.....and my friends and family.

 

[thecreationtutor]

If God told you something, it happens possibly, he didn't really tell you that, also, if God speaks audibly then, whatever situation is going on is going to be extremely difficult, and that word is all your going to have to hold onto during that trial

 

[SabbieWabbie]

Why are you doubting God sister? If you believe it was Him who spoke to you, then don't falter in your faith. Stand on His word, Stand on His promise! Even if you two get married a day before you enter His kingdom, if God said it will be so, it will be so.

 

[1still_waters]

I feel like a jerk even saying this. But you may not have heard from God. You may have been confusing your own thoughts for God's thoughts.

Even if you did hear from God, God isn't a liar because of all that has happened.

Unfortunately the guy has the ability to resist God's ways and walk in disobedience. Which results in a broken relationship. God isn't a liar because a guy decides to walk in disobedience and ruin things.

 

[doseofreality]

Just a quick comment.

There were times in my past where I felt God speak to me about someone and it didn't end well. So I think I understand some of your frustration.

There are really three options:
1) God lied to you.
2) God did not actually speak to you.
3) God is foretelling the future, meaning this will all work out and you and Brian will end up together however unlikely that is.

Decide for yourself which is most probable.

 

[kenthomas27]

What would you have me answer RachelP03? Do you want me to say that God doesn't lie? Then, He doesn't lie Rachel. Then again, that leaves this little conundrum here, doesn't it. You believe with all your heart that God chose this man for you - that He told you that this identified guy was the chosen one for you specifically, but the man had other ideas. So, the real question here is how we make this work with your faith. Somethings going to give - either your faith in God is subject to be damaged or this relationship has to work. That appears to be the ultimatum.

So let me ask a question for you. Who do you trust more - yourself or God? That's a private answer but you're going to have to dig deep because there's an important fact on the line. That fact is that God does.not.lie. That's a Given fact so knowing that piece of information you will need to identify if what you (personally) believed about this man and you and the relationship was true and from God.

 

[keep_on_smiling]

First of all God doesn't lie, EVER. We may misinterpret what He says or we may not understand clearly, or the enemy gets in and has his way with situations, BUT God is not a liar.

I'm sorry you are going through this situation. You mention that you were not looking for someone or ready to be with someone. If you didn't feel ready, then that would tell me that even if the Lord was showing you that Brian is for you, then it wasn't the right timing. You would have felt ready if that were so.

Sometimes God uses situations like these to address our hurts from our past, so that we can heal and draw closer to Him. I really would take this time to draw closer to Him. At the same time continue to pray about Brian. Maybe he is meant to be in your life and the timing is wrong. BUT maybe as others have said, he is here for a season.

Lately, I have talked with so many people that pray about things so much that they start to pray that God will open or close doors and that's good, but also dangerous. God doesn't always close all doors, we just have to listen and know not to go through them. It's easy to see "signs" as to why something is "of God" when really we are just connecting dots because deep down it's what we want. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but it's very common.

I pray for clarity in your life and healing from your past and present situation. I pray that if Brian is meant to be in your life, that God would settle it in each of your hearts, so you'd have peace while you each wait and draw closer to the Lord. I pray that if Brian isn't for you, that the Lord would place that on your heart and give you peace. I pray that your faith be strengthened.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

People have choices that they make. If the guy you felt was going to be it decides to turn against you for any given reason it was because of him and his own decision. While Satan can lie, so can people. Sometimes people lie to the point it's convincing and often learned the hard way when finding out who they really are.

Without jumping to conclusions, I say the best thing is to just move on and see where it does go since he's the one who walked out. Whether he comes back is his choice but you're going to have to be careful with what decision you make as to whether or not you take him back. If you feel something isn't right then chances are that's what you should be paying attention to and bring to light.

 

[kei]

If you know thats the man God has for you go get him dont take know for an answer

 

[cinder]

Well Rachel, you've gotten some really good advice so far and I second both the, it's easy to interpret things in light of your own wants and think it is God and the idea that it's not just about knowing what God wants but also when it is time to go for it.

Sounds like this relationship has brought up baggage in both of you that you need to work on. Take care of it before it sabotages another relationship. If God wants you two to end up together and you both want to obey him, it will happen. But do consider the possibility that God wanted both of you in this relationship to show you some of your baggage so you could start working through it before he brings along the person he intends for you to marry.

 

[RachelP03]

Well Rachel, you've gotten some really good advice so far and I second both the, it's easy to interpret things in light of your own wants and think it is God and the idea that it's not just about knowing what God wants but also when it is time to go for it.

Sounds like this relationship has brought up baggage in both of you that you need to work on. Take care of it before it sabotages another relationship. If God wants you two to end up together and you both want to obey him, it will happen. But do consider the possibility that God wanted both of you in this relationship to show you some of your baggage so you could start working through it before he brings along the person he intends for you to marry.

I honestly dont know what kind of answer I wanted with all of this. I have been praying and asking God for some kind of understanding. I left a part of the story out with all my confirmations, but I made sure and meditated on it before I ever got into this relationship and I KNOW without a shaddow of a doubt that God told me this was my husband. I had my loved ones around me pray too, and they felt the same way. SOme of of them even got told Brian was the one for me before I even felt anything.

Now something else we prayed for right before we broke up, was for God to mold us into the man and woman He wanted us to be, because we were happy in our relationship, but knew something was really missing. God was our focus, but like you said before me, we both had baggage. I carried alot of insecurities, selfishness, trust issues, and he had gotten out of a bad breakup with a fiance not too long before we got into the relationship. I talked to him the other day and he told me that hes not looking and hasnt looked and has no desire to look, neither have I. I for some reason feel as if this is going to be a long process or I dont know......I feel down on my hope and faith in God. I love God so much and Hes been so good to me, but I dont ever feel this far away from God. The other day, I cursed God and felt like I didnt need him in my life, and THAT IS NOT ME......I felt so bad, but was just so mad!!!!! I didnt want to be in this relationship, I didnt want another broken heart, so I struggle........I dont know what answer I want to hear or if there is an answer. Its hard for me to reach out to God when I dont understand, and yet I am told to remember the promises He has told me. I feel like its impossible, and then Im told of Phil 4:13. Please pray for me....I hate being this so far from God. I want to be content with my life right now, where it is!!! I do know that God dosent lie, for scriptures says its impossible for him to lie, I just feel like he did, but yet, the future hasnt happened.

 

[seoulsearch]

Hi Rachel,

I wanted to see what everyone else had to say before I posted. I debated on sharing this because it's a very personal story for me. I'll try to condense it and apologize if it seems a little lengthy.

When I was married, I came home from work one day to find half the contents of the house gone. My husband had moved out without telling me in the middle of the day, while I had been working. As you can imagine, I flew into an all-out panic attack. I had no idea where he went. After staying up 3 nights in a row (and I still suffer with insomnia 15 years later), I believed God told me, "Wait until the end of the month." I clung to that like a life preserver because it was all I had.

The entire month passed... and on the 29th, my husband asked to come home. I was OVERJOYED!!! A WORD FROM THE LORD!!! But in less than a month, he was gone again, and this time, for good. Was it God speaking to me? Maybe. But I have also learned that God speaks to us in bits and pieces.

God told Zechariah that he would have a son. He didn't tell him that his son would wind up losing his head as a trophy on an evil king's dinner plate. God told Mary that she would be the mother of the Christ. He didn't tell her she would see him tortured, brutalized, and then hung out to die among murderers for the entire world to see. Christians make the mistake of believing that if God tells them something, it's surely going to be a wonderful, happy ending. More often than not, this is not the case.

After my husband divorced me, well-meaning church members had all kinds of "hopeful" words for me, such as, "I really think the Lord is telling me that you are going to be married again in two years!" I have learned that in matters of the heart--significant others, babies, etc., BE VERY CAUTIOUS. The Bible tells us that the human heart is deceitful and in these matters especially, we have a tendency to lean towards our own feelings and pride ("The Lord gave me a word for you, sister!)

A year or two after my divorce, I believed God was telling me I was going to have a son. After reading the examples of how others reacted when being told this, I said, "All right, God, if I'm going to have a son, what should I name him?" I believe God told me to name him "Nathan, after Nathan the prophet, because he will confront people about their sins."

Sounds all good and spiritual, right? And, it was the only hope I had. I used to lay awake at night, rest my hands on my stomach, and imagine carrying my baby. Because I am adopted, this baby would be the only biological relative I would have. I would wrap my arms around my abdomen and think about how, at the moment I found out someday that I was pregnant, I would start talking to and reading to my son. As I said, it was my only hope, and it got me through so many cold and lonely nights.

It's been 15 years. No marriage--not even a boyfriend. Heck, not even someone I've had a second date with. I'm now 40 instead of 25, and due to various issues (I take care of myself but we all have health concerns beyond our control), I no longer even want a child. Yes, I know God can do anything. Even as a child, I never had a problem believing God can do anything. It's just that 9.99 times out of 10, He chooses not to, nor will He override human will (such as, force an unloving spouse to love us.)

You can imagine my devastation when I found out several years ago that my ex-husband remarried and had several children with his next wife. (He never spoke to me again after our court date, I found out through someone who found me on Facebook and had known us both.)

Did I hear from God? Did God lie to me? I know that God cannot lie. Was I just so desperate that my fragile mind made it all up, or did a demon speak to me in my weakness? To this day, I still feel tortured over this. And when I ask God, there is only silence.

I have a good friend who believed God had told them that if they quit their job by a certain time last year (they did not have any other job lined up), God would somehow allow them to meet the person who was supposed to be their spouse. This poor person is lamenting over their "lack of faith", saying, "If only I had listened and quit my job, I'm sure I wouldn't be alone right now."

I told them, "Sweetheart, if you had quit your job... the only different right now is that you'd be alone... and unemployed."

I don't have any answers, Rachel. But I will say from experience, please be careful about what people advise you regarding whom you should marry, and never rely on just one person's testimony. The Bible tells us to get confirmation, and that there is safety among a multitude of counselors.

And if Brian really is meant to be your husband? The most discouraging thing to me is that while God MIGHT be telling us so-and-so is meant to be our spouse, He doesn't say it will be happy, or that it will work out, or that the other person will even want to be our spouse. And if they choose not to be, God will not make them--their disobedience is something they have to take up with Him.

In the meantime, be encouraged to seek what plans God has for YOU. I can relate to much of what you've shared... and my heart truly goes out to you.

 

[tourist]

That is quite a story. Please know that God does not lie. While God wants you to be happy he will not force you or the other person in any type of relationship, but he will reassure you and calm your fears and anxieties. It is a sad thing that your ex-husband cheated on you. We all carry baggage from the past but perhaps that helps to define who we now are. You do not need therapy. You are doing the right thing in your prayers to God as to your expectations of your future husband. Allow God to explain of his expectations of marriage of both you and your future husband. You may be surprised. Stay is prayer and allow all of this to play out.

 

[SarahM777]

One does need to remember that many times God gave people promises that DID NOT happen very quickly at all. Abraham was given the promise of a son when he was older. It would be a number of years before Ishmael was born. It would be another 14 years before Isaac was born.

You did say that you and him are dealing with some baggage,at this time it may be that God is working on both of you to deal with that baggage. Going into a marriage with all kinds of baggage is NOT GOOD. (Been there myself) Dealing with the baggage NOW is much better then bringing those things INTO a marriage. All those things will harm a marriage,and it may be that it is NOT time for this yet.

 

[TheAristocat]

That morning, just a few hours later, I was at work and my friend texted me, who never saw or heard me talk about him, other than us going on dates and hanging out, said.....I dont know what it is about that Brian guy, but I think your going to marry him......later she told me that God laid on her heart that this was the last guy I was going to date and that we were going to have children.

I dont blame God for Brian walking away, but I know what I felt, and everytime I prayed and asked God if this is my husband, I hear and heard YES.

Unless I hear an audible voice or see a vision of some sort from God I'm a little cautious about saying that God is telling me something. That doesn't mean that God won't direct your paths if you abide in his will, but we don't need to know what God's plan for our lives is in order for him to direct our paths.

Proverbs 16:33 We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.

That said, there are a lot of Christians today who don't even know right from wrong. So how can they know how to abide in God's will? Some will say we need to follow the 10 commandments, and that's it. Some will add the law against homosexual behavior to them. Others will add the Sabbath. Some will say that we just need to love and not abide by laws.

And just as an example, I've heard people say that since there is no law against adultery these days that we should count adulterous spouses as having died to our marriage. Because in the Bible the only way you stop being the wife of the first man you married is if your spouse is put to death on account of adultery or if they otherwise simply die. That's when the marriage contract ends. In the Bible adultery was punished by death. So essentially adultery did end the marriage.

But there are always rules and exceptions to the rules. The heart of the matter is that adultery unbelievably complicates things. So much so that if I were ever to divorce a spouse on account of adultery I would endeavor to remain single for the rest of my life. But it's also important to try not to divorce a spouse who has never been married before. So unfortunately I don't have a lot of good news for you. From what I see in your life you could understandably ask the question, "Why did God let my husband commit adultery on me?" That is, if you did everything in your power to be a good wife. But you would not be right in asking, "Did God lie to me?" Because I don't see him as telling you anything other than what I see from the Bible.