What Do You Pray For Your Ex?

[LightningClap0002]

i have to find my earlier prayer thread because i need to update it but i ended up in an almost all day meeting with my ex-pastor, in a discussion over the fallout of my ex-girlfriend and the sides taken in the church (unbelievable) - so i can update that.

so i mentioned that i had forgiven her, because God had forgiven me much, therefore i could no less in forgiving her. and, then i dropped the bomb that i have been praying daily, often times for her - and he was amazed. he could not believe someone whom had gone so far to nuke me, had me offed in my own church, and basically unfriended from all of those in my life (except 4) - could do this!

long story short, he went from someone whom had been my enemy to someone suddenly on my side and asking how he could pray as well in this matter ..... God Moment!

It sounds like your situation was probably much worse than mine, but I also had a fairly messy break up. For a while I was strongly encouraged to attend a different church and things were pretty rough. I will say that I have prayed for her quite often since then. I pray that God reopen her heart to Him. I grew up with her in the same church, but her life was turned upside down. She has repeatedly gotten herself in rough spots. I loved her deeply, and though she did hurt me tremendously, my heart still aches with her as she wanders through sin. I pray that her kids will be raised knowing God because I know the impact of that is huge. So I guess I'm saying: you are not alone. God definitely has made some of us with hearts like that. I dare say those who don't yet He is still working on.

I guess in the end I just want to say that you are not alone. And as many have said, love, true love is more than just "forgive" it is true deep mercy inspite of pain. It seems like God has given you a great amount of love and also the strength to bear the pain that comes with great love. Without sounding too cliche I hope, I'd say you're blessed!

 

[nw2u]

Also, Luke 6:27-28

 

[nw2u]

I have not been able to pray for my ex consistently. I don't know anything about her. I don't know what happened while we were separated. We are divorced now.

I know what I was accused of doing, to some extent. I don't know everything. I was so emotionally ill after she left, I could not handle any real contact with her. She said I texted her too much and I don't remember doing this. Hey, I was so out of it that I left my cell in my insulated flannel shirt, that I wore as a jacket, when I went outside on break or lunch after I first got back to work. I was so out of it, I did not know that the guy she was seeing was a fellow employee where I worked.

I still wonder if HE was the one texting her while I was out on break. I just don't know and will probably never know. That is part of my issue. I've heard this guy say, "You should see what he did to her!" I wish I even had a clue what he is talking about.

All I can do is pray for wisdom for all involved. Unfortunately, I have spent my time praying for my own recovery and vindication. I am responsible for part of why we got divorced. I am not responsible for all of what is said about me.

My ex knows what she is responsible for doing. I do not.

Wish I knew what to pray for.

 

[mm]

I have forgotten about this until I read this thread. I thought I have forgiven him but I just realized that I haven't quite over this when there is barely no words came out in my pray for him. I just tried to ignore the hurt and forget instead of forgive all this time.
Thanks for this, it's like a reminder for me.

 

[Lucy68]

It helps to remember what Christ said as they hammered nails into His wrists....Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing.

Sometimes, we just have to clench our teeth and say the same thing. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit can we do this

 

[GreenNnice]

When I broke up with my ex-fiance, the only way that I could forgive him and move on was to pray for him any time that I thought about him. (which was a whole lot in the beginning) It was definitely sort of like a "pray for your enemies" kind of thing. He hurt me very deeply and I was not really in a place spiritually to understand that it was God at work. The Holy Spirit did a lot of leading in my prayers that made absolutely no sense to me, like praying for him and his new wife. >_< But I recently learned, several years later, that he is now a born again Christian, goes to church, reads his bible, prays and he and his wife have a great relationship. So, you never know what it's for, but I am a firm believer that prayer changes things and people. Continue to let the Lord lead you by His spirit and trust that even though you may not understand, He sees it all and wants ALL to come to repentance and to know Him! He loves her and like a pp said, you may be the only one who is praying for her. ^_^
I hope that helped.

Did that guy ever make a stupid choice to leave you, Catty, you, not Cameron Diaz (movie she's in), are the sweetest thing .

And, good tho, your past dude found God, surely your attitude and genuine understanding and grace and mercy and showing His Love through it all learning to trust in Him was shown to him. Our God reigns and good he found someone but, tho the Lord, indeed, leads, we still make stupid choices (like not following His perfect for us) and God makes the most of them , like God made the most of Israelites whining and crying and complaining, 'we w-a-a-ant our own king, pleeease. We are tired of your stupid manna and lording over us, big man in the sky.' (They didn't say this quote, but, yeah, kind of like it. The Issue thought grass would be greener on the other side, so to speak)

Imagine that! God is Love, was leading Israel in Love as a father does, for He is our Father now as He was to Israel then, saving us from death and bringing us to Life evermore through His Son Jesus. But, yeah, Israeli people demanded God give them a king, and, they got Saul, who was not like God, in any Loving way, shape, or, form

Want God's perfect for you, He leads. And, that guy of catty's did NOT get God's best for him

Catty is the best

Ok, I'm done now.

I was being 100% serious too despite all my greennness, Christ peeps, in speech right tha there. Catty is a shining example of 'perfect' following breakup. God says, 'For I know the plans for you,' which was Jeremiah telling Israel that Babylon captivity was their plight in this bible time (way after Saul a few 100 years, incidentally), but IF you SEEK Me with all.your heart and search for Me you will find Me and you will find My perfectest plans for you too.

A perfect thing to do regarding an ex GD/bc is forgive them, completely, Jesus says 70x7 times, and, turn the other cheek when someone wrongs you. And, anything we have against our brother (or sister, or mom, dad, friend even) needs to be dealt with , read Matt. 5:22

God will perfectly get you through this tough stuff, too. All things are possible with Him. You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you

 

[lost1972]

I have not been able to pray for my ex consistently. I don't know anything about her. I don't know what happened while we were separated. We are divorced now.

I know what I was accused of doing, to some extent. I don't know everything. I was so emotionally ill after she left, I could not handle any real contact with her. She said I texted her too much and I don't remember doing this. Hey, I was so out of it that I left my cell in my insulated flannel shirt, that I wore as a jacket, when I went outside on break or lunch after I first got back to work. I was so out of it, I did not know that the guy she was seeing was a fellow employee where I worked.

I still wonder if HE was the one texting her while I was out on break. I just don't know and will probably never know. That is part of my issue. I've heard this guy say, "You should see what he did to her!" I wish I even had a clue what he is talking about.

All I can do is pray for wisdom for all involved. Unfortunately, I have spent my time praying for my own recovery and vindication. I am responsible for part of why we got divorced. I am not responsible for all of what is said about me.

My ex knows what she is responsible for doing. I do not.

Wish I knew what to pray for.

you dont have to know anything at all, pray for her salvation first, God knows exactly what happened,where she is etc, don't worry about Human weakness just pray for her and let God handle it

 

[Jess777]

it can be super hard to pray for people that hurt us, but like maybe it was to help you be less bitter? or less angry or resentful? sometimes, when you pray for someone else you find yourself growing in a different kind of love for them. And thats the love God wants us to have for eachother i think. Maybe you;ll find yourself one day loving her in a Godly way that will totally help out anything that went on between you two in the past to hurt you, just some encouragement ... from experience... hang in there kidd

 

[lost1972]

it can be super hard to pray for people that hurt us, but like maybe it was to help you be less bitter? or less angry or resentful? sometimes, when you pray for someone else you find yourself growing in a different kind of love for them. And thats the love God wants us to have for eachother i think. Maybe you;ll find yourself one day loving her in a Godly way that will totally help out anything that went on between you two in the past to hurt you, just some encouragement ... from experience... hang in there kidd

when you forgive someone because God commands you to, it doesn't even mean to have to run up and act like you like the, just forgive them, if you don't all that resentment and hate is only hurting you on the inside,not the person you hold it against

 

[Catlynn]

Did that guy ever make a stupid choice to leave you, Catty, you, not Cameron Diaz (movie she's in), are the sweetest thing .

And, good tho, your past dude found God, surely your attitude and genuine understanding and grace and mercy and showing His Love through it all learning to trust in Him was shown to him. Our God reigns and good he found someone but, tho the Lord, indeed, leads, we still make stupid choices (like not following His perfect for us) and God makes the most of them , like God made the most of Israelites whining and crying and complaining, 'we w-a-a-ant our own king, pleeease. We are tired of your stupid manna and lording over us, big man in the sky.' (They didn't say this quote, but, yeah, kind of like it. The Issue thought grass would be greener on the other side, so to speak)

Imagine that! God is Love, was leading Israel in Love as a father does, for He is our Father now as He was to Israel then, saving us from death and bringing us to Life evermore through His Son Jesus. But, yeah, Israeli people demanded God give them a king, and, they got Saul, who was not like God, in any Loving way, shape, or, form

Want God's perfect for you, He leads. And, that guy of catty's did NOT get God's best for him

Catty is the best

Ok, I'm done now.

I was being 100% serious too despite all my greennness, Christ peeps, in speech right tha there. Catty is a shining example of 'perfect' following breakup. God says, 'For I know the plans for you,' which was Jeremiah telling Israel that Babylon captivity was their plight in this bible time (way after Saul a few 100 years, incidentally), but IF you SEEK Me with all.your heart and search for Me you will find Me and you will find My perfectest plans for you too.

A perfect thing to do regarding an ex GD/bc is forgive them, completely, Jesus says 70x7 times, and, turn the other cheek when someone wrongs you. And, anything we have against our brother (or sister, or mom, dad, friend even) needs to be dealt with , read Matt. 5:22

God will perfectly get you through this tough stuff, too. All things are possible with Him. You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you

What a huge compliment! Thank you so much, mr green!!!

 

[AsifinPassing]

I hold no ill will to any of my past girlfriends. I did, truly, love them, and arguably, always will. I try to love everyone, and you don't stop just because of tragedy, brokenness, ext.

I do, actually, pray for them on occassion. In the context that I want the best for them. I want God to bless and fill them, and make them into the wonderful women He wants them to be. I wouldn't say I'm specifically called to, like you, but I do think it's a good and right thing to do in Christ's love.

 

[Sashachristcentered]

I am going through something like this at the moment. My ex broke up with me because I'm a Christian and he's a Hindu and he couldn't handle it. After we broke up I was a mess but God kept putting it in my heart to pray for him so I did for an entire year. I didn't see any point in praying for him because nothing was happening. Then to make things worst I kept having dreams of him every night contacting me to say he wants to accept Jesus and that he was sorry for breaking up. This made me sad even more because I didn't knw what to do. We don't talk to each other but we both still keep in contact with each other's family. I kept trying to move on but I cant really explain it but there is just something in my heart to keep praying for him. I am trying everything not to think about him but my heart seems to be yelling at me to pray that God will reveal himself to him.

 

[11Eleven-Bravo]

Nope, can't say I think about my exes. Not one of them. It's not that I am uncaring, it's just I moved on from those moments of my life which I now consider mistakes, and I look forward to venturing into greener pastures with Christ. An Idle Mind is the Devils Workshop, and how idle of me to dwell on matters of the past that I have no control over now.

 

[jeremyPJ]

I had trouble with that at first, but my pastors recommended it, and I felt better afterward. And occasionally I will pray for her, but it scares me too. I don't want my daughter to get or remain too close to her or her friends, they just aren't good people and seem proud to cause trouble. I know I should pray for them more, I just don't want my girl to get hurt by difficult expectations, she already seeks better relations with her, and the connection is never quite there. Makes me sad, yet glad.

 

[Raine]

I had to pray for my ex as part of the healing process. . But I understand that's not what you're asking.

As someone else said previously, obey the Lord. He sees far beyond and understands way more than we do. You might never understand why but he'll tell you when to stop. . On the other hand, if you remain obedient he might show you a big surprise or you can become an active part of something beautiful that's going to happen. I always find myself regretful or empty when I don't follow the Spirit and most fulfilled and finding adventures when I am obedient to his calling.

 

[JesusLives]

I got divorced in January of 1979 and my ex remarried in April of the same year. I did pray for him and his new wife as my understanding was that she was not a believer and so my prayers were Lord if our marriage had to end to facilitate the salvation of her then I am o.k. with that and I prayed for salvation for them all.

They had been married all these years and had two children and three grandchildren and my ex just passed away on March 22,2014. Every now and then over the years I continued to pray for him and his family and salvation for them all. I will only know the outcome of those prayers in heaven but I do hope to see them all there.

 

[secularhermit]

@JesusLive

Hi! Whatever the outcome, you did what you did, when praying.

I have heard that, when we pray, we come close to loving them (that could be the reason why Jesus asked us to pray for ENEMIES).

I´m not good at praying, particularly if hurt but, in front of my desk (at home) I have a short list with the name of the last person I loved, her children´s names and mine.

Here, sooner o later, I will pray for her, for them and mine but, the time I got divorceed, I was so poisoned with rage, that I wanted to kill and destroy. So you did the best!

It took me years to be healed. I seldom pray for those who left me (nor for those I left) it is that I pray for the present, just leaving the past goes by (I don´t think it good to look back, like Lot´s wife).

Now, I´m here, I just wondered how long my prayer list would be if I prayed particularly for those in the past. If I´m not reminded they ever existed I would not pray for those I know who badly need a simple prayer: "Lord! Come to heal this and save that"... How many hours would I spend in prayers?

Before I go to sleep, I have my prayer moments and often I fall asleep praying, pleasently.

 

[Desdichado]

I always pray for justice.

 

[Nice_Lady]

Desdichado, believe me you do not want justice, so stop praying for it. We (all christians) want grace.

 

[tourist]

Desdichado, believe me you do not want justice, so stop praying for it. We (all christians) want grace.

...and compassion and mercy.