i have to find my earlier prayer thread because i need to update it but i ended up in an almost all day meeting with my ex-pastor, in a discussion over the fallout of my ex-girlfriend and the sides taken in the church (unbelievable) - so i can update that.
so i mentioned that i had forgiven her, because God had forgiven me much, therefore i could no less in forgiving her. and, then i dropped the bomb that i have been praying daily, often times for her - and he was amazed. he could not believe someone whom had gone so far to nuke me, had me offed in my own church, and basically unfriended from all of those in my life (except 4) - could do this!
long story short, he went from someone whom had been my enemy to someone suddenly on my side and asking how he could pray as well in this matter ..... God Moment!
so i mentioned that i had forgiven her, because God had forgiven me much, therefore i could no less in forgiving her. and, then i dropped the bomb that i have been praying daily, often times for her - and he was amazed. he could not believe someone whom had gone so far to nuke me, had me offed in my own church, and basically unfriended from all of those in my life (except 4) - could do this!
long story short, he went from someone whom had been my enemy to someone suddenly on my side and asking how he could pray as well in this matter ..... God Moment!
I guess in the end I just want to say that you are not alone. And as many have said, love, true love is more than just "forgive" it is true deep mercy inspite of pain. It seems like God has given you a great amount of love and also the strength to bear the pain that comes with great love. Without sounding too cliche I hope, I'd say you're blessed!