I haven't read through all the responses so maybe someone said this, but it's worth saying again. Being a mother is not a light job, it is very hard work. Especially a stay at home mom. Raising kids is hard work, and if she is in charge of all the house hold work.....imagine keeping an eye on two crazy younglings who think they are invincible, scrubbing dishes on a daily basis and picking up after everyone. Finding time to wash the poop streaks out of everyone's underwear, cooking a good meal for dinner, helping with homework, getting the kids off to school, perhaps even working in the garden. If a child is really young, she is waking up at all hours of the night to feed the baby. Making grocery lists, taking care of the shopping, negotiating with the power company if the bills get behind and there is a cutoff notice. It's not like a stay at home mom is just sitting there watching days of our lives all day with nothing to do. A stay at home mom just can't go out dancing any night she wants to with her friends or live a life of lazy personal luxury.
It's really disrespectful to stay at home moms everywhere to say "thats all they do". Walk a mile in their shoes and you would be like "whoa, I had noooooooooo idea!".
Hi Scott,
Thanks for being receptive and open-minded to some of the things I wrote. I do appreciate that you're willing to listen to the other side.
Men are frustrated with women for various reasons as you mentioned; women are frustrated with women for various reasons. I've stated many times on this forum that one of the reasons I've been single for so long and may be indefinitely is because I don't want to marry a man with a P-Complex of his own--the P being Pornography or, a certain male body part, depending on how you look at it.
The best remedy seems to avoid dating people with the issues we're so uncomfortable with. You'll be alone, yes, but happier than with someone who has said issues if you're so opposed to them. I'm friends with all kinds of people because we're all struggling in our own ways. But as far as dating and committing to someone, I have yet to find what I believe God has for me.
One last thought... God has blessed my parents in so many ways "despite" her "only" being a homemaker. My Dad worked in a grocery store but because my parents were so frugal and faithful, he was able to retire long before many doctors, lawyers, and dentists whom we knew that were his age or older. They also raised 3 children on one modest income.
I have said many, many times that if it wasn't for marrying someone like my Mom, my Dad would have nothing to show for his hard work. If he had married someone who just HAD to have all the latest--clothes, cars, place in society--anything he tried to save would have quickly disappeared. Rather, my mom stuck to a budget religiously and when it came time for back-to-school shopping, she used the money he gave her for clothes for herself to buy our school supplies instead (my parents keep their clothes for an average of 10-20 years or until they wear out).
If something in the grocery cart was over our budget, she put it back and made due with what we had. We didn't eat out. My Dad didn't stop for take-out coffee before work, and all his lunches were packed from home. We didn't succumb to a lot of convenience items because she faithfully watched every penny. We went to movies maybe 3 times a year, if even that, and we didn't have things like cable TV. My mother is every bit a Proverbs 31 woman. She rose early in the morning, stayed up late at night, and worked diligently to shape and care for her family in everything she did. She is a shrewd businesswoman and skilled money manager in every way, even though she doesn't have "a big career." Do I have a perfect family? Of course not! I love my Mom but we each have personality quirks that drive each other crazy like anyone else.
But can a woman want to stay at home with her kids and be that Proverbs 31 woman? ABSOLUTELY. Knowing how to MANAGE money and a household is just as, if not even more important, than bringing money in, and it's a SKILL, not something always automatically inborn.
My parents love volunteering for their financial counseling ministry. One of the best (or worst) stories they've ever told was of a couple in which the husband was a doctor and the wife was an RN and the head of her department. Together, their income was somewhere around $400,000. But they couldn't keep up on anything, and were deeply in debt. They refused to listen to any of my parents' advice (maybe they saw my parents as being too "poor" to know what they were talking about) and insisted on nearly $1000 every week for EACH of them as "play" money. They insisted on new cars, houses, boats, etc. and refused to compromise anything about their "gotta have what's new right now" lifestyle.
People expect my parents to give them a magic wand in their classes but what they give is practical tools and advice--make a budget. Sacrifice. Get a second job. Pay off your credit cards and debts. And stick to it. But this couple had no interest in anything my parents had to say... and eventually wound up getting a divorce. This story always sticks in my head when people feel that bringing in more money is always the answer. If you don't know how to manage, it doesn't matter how much is coming in or whether both people are working.
The Bible says if you are faithful with a little, you can be trusted with much... and I believe this principle works in the opposite direction as well--someone who can't manage $400 will be a disaster if you give them $400,000.
I guess I can go back to my own version of the P-Complex. Sometimes it's not the size (or amount) that matters, but rather, whether you know what to do with it and how to manage it according to God's principles.