Hey Everyone,
I was wondering if anyone else has used this strategy when trying to get over someone or fight an attraction you already know is a lost cause, but yet you feel so drawn to that person anyway.
Though I try to keep my emotions in check and not let my attractions run wild, every now and then, of course, I find myself being drawn to someone... who would definitely be the wrong choice. There are a myriad of reasons: he's freshly out of a relationship but still trying to get over it (on the rebound); he's into things I don't want as a part of my life (addictions;, he's in a place of neediness and I can't be the one rescue him; he's an unbeliever, etc. How do I know these situations are all wrong for me? Because in the past I made every exception, only to see it fall to disaster each time. I'd like to think I'm able to learn from my mistakes and make better choices. But old habits die hard, and once in a blue moon, I find myself falling down the rabbit hole yet again.
What is your most effective method for fighting an attraction to someone you know you shouldn't be attracted to? After all, the Bible tells us that one of the Fruits of the Spirit is Self-Control.
Over the years, I've run into something that, while I can't say it's 100% fool-proof, it sure does seem like it, even though it's really emotional masochism.
I pray this simple, basic prayer: "Lord. Please send him... a Beautiful Distraction." (Meaning... another girl.) Sometimes the distraction came as another life event, but usually, it was a girl.... whom they readily went after instead of me.
In every single case I've prayed this... Someone or something else does come along, and he is long gone. It could be God answering, or it could just be the way life is working itself out. It hurts like all get-out. But as I said, it's been pretty much 100% effective. I can't think of a time when I've personally prayed that (though it takes A LOT to get me to the point of being able to make that prayer) and he hasn't found an interest in someone else. I know. It's at least good to know before I ever got involved.
And I also know that for some people, competition only fuels their fire and cause them to "fight" for someone's attention. But for me, the minute I know he's interested in someone else, I feel much freer to hobble away--wounded through and through but at least I'll move in the direction I need to be going--AWAY from the particular situation.
Maybe what I'm hoping for someday... is to meet a guy who, after meeting "the distraction"... still chooses me instead. (I know... I'll probably get an overload of requests from guys asking us women to pray for "Beautiful Distractions" in their lives, too!) I've actually wondered many times if I were to ever become engaged to a wonderful, Christian guy and prayed my "old reliable" prayer... What would happen? And, to be 100% transparent, what would happen if he prayed that I would be sent my own distraction as well?
I'm at a point now where I'm not sure I can pray that prayer anymore because it just hurts too doggone much to see. So I pray the feelings will just go away as I do my best to concentrate on God instead. But sometimes when even that hurts to much... I "pull out the big guns"... and that simple little prayer gets pulled off the shelf. I lack the self-control to fight or stop the attraction... So in desperation, I pray that it will get ripped out from under me instead and will become unavailable... no longer an option.
What are your best tips for getting over or conquering an attraction to the best person?
I was wondering if anyone else has used this strategy when trying to get over someone or fight an attraction you already know is a lost cause, but yet you feel so drawn to that person anyway.
Though I try to keep my emotions in check and not let my attractions run wild, every now and then, of course, I find myself being drawn to someone... who would definitely be the wrong choice. There are a myriad of reasons: he's freshly out of a relationship but still trying to get over it (on the rebound); he's into things I don't want as a part of my life (addictions;, he's in a place of neediness and I can't be the one rescue him; he's an unbeliever, etc. How do I know these situations are all wrong for me? Because in the past I made every exception, only to see it fall to disaster each time. I'd like to think I'm able to learn from my mistakes and make better choices. But old habits die hard, and once in a blue moon, I find myself falling down the rabbit hole yet again.
What is your most effective method for fighting an attraction to someone you know you shouldn't be attracted to? After all, the Bible tells us that one of the Fruits of the Spirit is Self-Control.
Over the years, I've run into something that, while I can't say it's 100% fool-proof, it sure does seem like it, even though it's really emotional masochism.
I pray this simple, basic prayer: "Lord. Please send him... a Beautiful Distraction." (Meaning... another girl.) Sometimes the distraction came as another life event, but usually, it was a girl.... whom they readily went after instead of me.
In every single case I've prayed this... Someone or something else does come along, and he is long gone. It could be God answering, or it could just be the way life is working itself out. It hurts like all get-out. But as I said, it's been pretty much 100% effective. I can't think of a time when I've personally prayed that (though it takes A LOT to get me to the point of being able to make that prayer) and he hasn't found an interest in someone else. I know. It's at least good to know before I ever got involved.
And I also know that for some people, competition only fuels their fire and cause them to "fight" for someone's attention. But for me, the minute I know he's interested in someone else, I feel much freer to hobble away--wounded through and through but at least I'll move in the direction I need to be going--AWAY from the particular situation.
Maybe what I'm hoping for someday... is to meet a guy who, after meeting "the distraction"... still chooses me instead. (I know... I'll probably get an overload of requests from guys asking us women to pray for "Beautiful Distractions" in their lives, too!) I've actually wondered many times if I were to ever become engaged to a wonderful, Christian guy and prayed my "old reliable" prayer... What would happen? And, to be 100% transparent, what would happen if he prayed that I would be sent my own distraction as well?
I'm at a point now where I'm not sure I can pray that prayer anymore because it just hurts too doggone much to see. So I pray the feelings will just go away as I do my best to concentrate on God instead. But sometimes when even that hurts to much... I "pull out the big guns"... and that simple little prayer gets pulled off the shelf. I lack the self-control to fight or stop the attraction... So in desperation, I pray that it will get ripped out from under me instead and will become unavailable... no longer an option.
What are your best tips for getting over or conquering an attraction to the best person?
I admire people who can turn their emotions on and off like light switches and always make the logical, rational decisions. 
