The Ultimate Way to Get Over an Attraction to Someone (?)
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Picture them 5 years from now, you're running around picking up the house, while he or she for the guys is lounging in a lazy boy, with a white t shirt, beer belly, underpants on, eating Cheetos, you're chasing the kids, they just turn the volume up on the Tv so they can ignore it.
There ya go, attraction over.
Sometimes, you're in a situation in which you work with and/or see the person everyday, which for me, makes it a lot tougher.
I'm glad you have so much control in your own situations and emotions.
I admire people who can turn their emotions on and off like light switches and always make the logical, rational decisions.
But as for me, I'm honest enough to admit that I am not one of those people. I find that I tend to need a little extra help. And, judging from the threads we see here so often about getting over someone... I'm betting I'm not the only one who feels that way.
P.S. As is typical of me... I messed up the last sentence of my post... it should ask how you fight an attraction to someone you shouldn't or don't want to be attracted to... not the "best" person.
Ugh. Sorry everyone. Once again, I'll blame it on my own distractions... as in, a lack of sleep!
I'm glad you have so much control in your own situations and emotions.
I admire people who can turn their emotions on and off like light switches and always make the logical, rational decisions. But as for me, I'm honest enough to admit that I am not one of those people. I find that I tend to need a little extra help. And, judging from the threads we see here so often about getting over someone... I'm betting I'm not the only one who feels that way.
P.S. As is typical of me... I messed up the last sentence of my post... it should ask how you fight an attraction to someone you shouldn't or don't want to be attracted to... not the "best" person.
Ugh. Sorry everyone. Once again, I'll blame it on my own distractions... as in, a lack of sleep!
Also, I just remind myself of all the reasons why they wouldn't be interested in me, and that's always more than enough to convince myself that nothing will ever happen between us.
Yea, I pretty much have it down to a science.
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Brilliant strategy but I do have one problem with it. That beautiful distraction may do more to harm the other person than be a good thing for them. I've usually dealt with crushes by praying for them and praying that God would give them his best for their lives. There's a lot of manipulative women out there and I wouldn't want to see a guy I care about subjected to an unscrupulous woman.
You and me both. Well I guess I'm mostly just hoping for a guy who will choose the enduring qualities I have over the superficial qualities that culture tells us are important.
You and me both. Well I guess I'm mostly just hoping for a guy who will choose the enduring qualities I have over the superficial qualities that culture tells us are important.
So I got myself into some trouble with this a while back...
I was living in a Christian-based home where they basically train young adults to keep faith in the real world and how to adjust to situations.
Well, in our brother house there came this "help" case. Atheist. Ex-drug-dealer. Trying (and failing) and trying again to find better for himself. I had NO desire to even meet him because my biological dad is a drug dealer so I'm a bit biased (negatively speaking).
And then I met him. He is funny, outgoing, attractive, says it how it is, generous, caring, and... Gave me attention. Dun dun dunnnn.
I still knew he wasn't right for me because of his atheism, but I soaked up the attention. He was texting me all the time, calling me, taking me to lunch (as friends mind you), but I was quickly losing my will power. Very, very, quickly. Haha!
I actually did similar to the op and prayed... Only my prayer was more like, "God, a thousand red flags are going up. I KNOW this isn't right, but I'm so incredibly attracted to him. Help me avoid it. I'm trying to avoid it."
Not a week later, the guy got a great job and moved to Missouri. He had become one of my best friends over the months so I was really sad and slightly heart broken but I knew that it was God moving us around. I have no doubt that he came into my life for a reason (to practice acceptance), but God does listen and do what's best for us.
AND he actually called me last night (first time in months!) and I was relieved to discover that with distance, all potential feelings had abandoned me and as nice as it was to hear his voice, God has me taken care of with someone else.
I was living in a Christian-based home where they basically train young adults to keep faith in the real world and how to adjust to situations.
Well, in our brother house there came this "help" case. Atheist. Ex-drug-dealer. Trying (and failing) and trying again to find better for himself. I had NO desire to even meet him because my biological dad is a drug dealer so I'm a bit biased (negatively speaking).
And then I met him. He is funny, outgoing, attractive, says it how it is, generous, caring, and... Gave me attention. Dun dun dunnnn.
I still knew he wasn't right for me because of his atheism, but I soaked up the attention. He was texting me all the time, calling me, taking me to lunch (as friends mind you), but I was quickly losing my will power. Very, very, quickly. Haha!
I actually did similar to the op and prayed... Only my prayer was more like, "God, a thousand red flags are going up. I KNOW this isn't right, but I'm so incredibly attracted to him. Help me avoid it. I'm trying to avoid it."
Not a week later, the guy got a great job and moved to Missouri. He had become one of my best friends over the months so I was really sad and slightly heart broken but I knew that it was God moving us around. I have no doubt that he came into my life for a reason (to practice acceptance), but God does listen and do what's best for us.
AND he actually called me last night (first time in months!) and I was relieved to discover that with distance, all potential feelings had abandoned me and as nice as it was to hear his voice, God has me taken care of with someone else.
Wow, Falling... Maybe I need to start praying for a Beautiful Distraction... for me.
P.S. Cinder--I agree, must pray for a blessing and not a curse, no matter how frustrating it is to see the other person blessed and ourselves left in the dust.
P.S. Cinder--I agree, must pray for a blessing and not a curse, no matter how frustrating it is to see the other person blessed and ourselves left in the dust.
great thread idea, kim!
i have one really good strategy that i learned from personal experience. many years ago, i went out with a non-christian. as much as i liked him and as powerful as the chemistry, almost every time he opened his mouth, i would hear things that reminded me of why i shouldn't be with a non-christian. his attitude, his speech, his idea of fun, and the like. he was a nice guy, but he was "of the world". and as my affections grew, i could see the collision coming ahead. i ignored it for a bit, but one day, it all exploded and i was deeply hurt. mostly because i had hurt someone else doing something for which i knew better.
when i meet a wrong guy (for me), i just take some time, and think about what the evolution of the relationship would entail. all the disagreements about what's right and wrong. my near constant compromise to keep the peace, that i've already done my time in an ill-fitting relationship, and just how dreadfully lonely that can be.
i'm simply not interested in wasting any more time, or draining my emotional reserves for someone who i know is wrong from the outset.
and especially, recognition that what i want is a true co-adventurer, something that the wrong guy surely can't be.
and that usually takes the winds out of my sails.
i have one really good strategy that i learned from personal experience. many years ago, i went out with a non-christian. as much as i liked him and as powerful as the chemistry, almost every time he opened his mouth, i would hear things that reminded me of why i shouldn't be with a non-christian. his attitude, his speech, his idea of fun, and the like. he was a nice guy, but he was "of the world". and as my affections grew, i could see the collision coming ahead. i ignored it for a bit, but one day, it all exploded and i was deeply hurt. mostly because i had hurt someone else doing something for which i knew better.
when i meet a wrong guy (for me), i just take some time, and think about what the evolution of the relationship would entail. all the disagreements about what's right and wrong. my near constant compromise to keep the peace, that i've already done my time in an ill-fitting relationship, and just how dreadfully lonely that can be.
i'm simply not interested in wasting any more time, or draining my emotional reserves for someone who i know is wrong from the outset.
and especially, recognition that what i want is a true co-adventurer, something that the wrong guy surely can't be.
and that usually takes the winds out of my sails.
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