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I have the hardest time saying what is on my heart. It just comes out incoherently in my mind and I can’t put it into writing.
But, simply and broadly stated, I just feel incredibly alone.
My previous posts haven't been the easiest to decipher.
And I think some people got the idea that I think of God as a genie. I guess, in a way, I do. I'm human. I'm trying my best to understand why this is so hard for me.
If it's wrong for me to wonder why others get exactly what they want and I don't, then I am sorry. God knows I am. It makes my heart hurt.
I feel like my life depends on a hour glass and I am running out of time for marriage and a family. Thirty may seem young to some, but to me, it's not. My biological clock really is ticking.
Along with many other things I pray about (I'm not always selfish, I promise) I keep praying for God to take the desire for me to marry away because I can't deal with this being an idol when I want to focus on HIM. Does that even make sense? But does He listen to me or has He turned a deaf ear to me? My desire is still here.
I really hope I'm not being a nuisance. I apologize if I am.
But, simply and broadly stated, I just feel incredibly alone.
My previous posts haven't been the easiest to decipher.
And I think some people got the idea that I think of God as a genie. I guess, in a way, I do. I'm human. I'm trying my best to understand why this is so hard for me.
If it's wrong for me to wonder why others get exactly what they want and I don't, then I am sorry. God knows I am. It makes my heart hurt.
I feel like my life depends on a hour glass and I am running out of time for marriage and a family. Thirty may seem young to some, but to me, it's not. My biological clock really is ticking.
Along with many other things I pray about (I'm not always selfish, I promise) I keep praying for God to take the desire for me to marry away because I can't deal with this being an idol when I want to focus on HIM. Does that even make sense? But does He listen to me or has He turned a deaf ear to me? My desire is still here.
I really hope I'm not being a nuisance. I apologize if I am.