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U
I'm assuming this is rhetorical and not a literal situation you're facing.
Going with the assumption you're just asking us how do we handle when our pasts come back to visit, i'd say my natural reaction is to get stuck on it. Invite it in, feed it, give it a place to stay for a while. But usually this is bad for me. And i've become more aware of this tendency and as a result i'm learning to fight it more.
It can be good, in small doses, and not too often, to reflect on your past. To measure our growth, maybe notice something we didn't before that we can learn from or understand ourselves or others better. But most often our pasts are best left there, in the past. Unless that past has something positive to bring into your present, it will likely only bring more negative feelings.
Going with the assumption you're just asking us how do we handle when our pasts come back to visit, i'd say my natural reaction is to get stuck on it. Invite it in, feed it, give it a place to stay for a while. But usually this is bad for me. And i've become more aware of this tendency and as a result i'm learning to fight it more.
It can be good, in small doses, and not too often, to reflect on your past. To measure our growth, maybe notice something we didn't before that we can learn from or understand ourselves or others better. But most often our pasts are best left there, in the past. Unless that past has something positive to bring into your present, it will likely only bring more negative feelings.
I've found that sometimes, having something or someone from the past pop up unexpectedly helps show us where our hearts really stand. Most likely I have to smile, nod, my head, and leave it in the past, but it acts as a mirror of my present-day condition.
I've been going through some really challenging times lately, and even though my ex-husband never spoke to me after the divorce, other things cross my path that remind me of him--songs, people, events. An old friend of mine and I talked the other day and she was showing off a beautiful ring her husband had bought her to celebrate a milestone in their lives. She was telling me she's still trying to get used to it on her finger, and I was teasing her, putting on my best Paris Hilton-type voice and saying, "Oh my stars, whatever will I do, THIS HUGE OL' DIAMOND KEEPS BRUSHING AGAINST MY FINGERS!!"
And we both burst into laughter. I told her, "Hey, Haters Gonna Hate."
Not so long ago, all of that would have really sunk me into a pit of depression (not because of a ring, but because she has a faithful husband who adores her even after many years together.) But I was surprised that all of these encounters didn't bother me nearly as much as it used to. It stung, sure... but it also made me realize how ready I am to keep moving on.
I now thank God for these types of events in my life, because I know they're like a series of "progress reports", showing me how far He's carried me... and that there is still something ahead to look forward to. (I hope.)
I've been going through some really challenging times lately, and even though my ex-husband never spoke to me after the divorce, other things cross my path that remind me of him--songs, people, events. An old friend of mine and I talked the other day and she was showing off a beautiful ring her husband had bought her to celebrate a milestone in their lives. She was telling me she's still trying to get used to it on her finger, and I was teasing her, putting on my best Paris Hilton-type voice and saying, "Oh my stars, whatever will I do, THIS HUGE OL' DIAMOND KEEPS BRUSHING AGAINST MY FINGERS!!"
And we both burst into laughter. I told her, "Hey, Haters Gonna Hate."
Not so long ago, all of that would have really sunk me into a pit of depression (not because of a ring, but because she has a faithful husband who adores her even after many years together.) But I was surprised that all of these encounters didn't bother me nearly as much as it used to. It stung, sure... but it also made me realize how ready I am to keep moving on.
I now thank God for these types of events in my life, because I know they're like a series of "progress reports", showing me how far He's carried me... and that there is still something ahead to look forward to. (I hope.)
R
There is a saying which goes like this: If the enemy reminds you of your past, remind him of his future. You put it in the past for a reason. Keep it there. Curiousity sometimes creeps in from the past, and there is temptation that can overcome your emotions and then you will want to know what's? why's and hows? all over again, to gain what? More missery? more hurt? more grief? more agro? are you gluttent for more punishment? The past should stay were it is, because you put it there.
Proceed with caution. Observe their motives and current character. I once had a beautiful reconciliation with a former "frenemy" after years of not speaking. Turns out Christ had really gotten a hold of her heart and changed her through and through - from spiteful brat to beautiful woman of God! I am so glad that I prayed about it before meeting with her. If I'd gone with my gut instinct, I would have kept my distance. Instead, I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to give her a chance. I do not regret obeying Him.
Hence, proceed with caution. Pray.
Hence, proceed with caution. Pray.
if "the past" is bringing you coffee and coming after the kids are in bed, then i would let "the past" keep knocking and pretend no one is home. : )
generally speaking: it's in your past for a reason. i have never given an "ex" or a guy i dated a second chance, and unless there is a compelling reason or change in a friend/acquaintance, i tend to keep them (no closer than) the outer periphery of my life.
i tend to do decent job maintaining friendships, and if they've slipped from my radar, there's usually a reason for this--and i'm ok with keeping them where they are.
generally speaking: it's in your past for a reason. i have never given an "ex" or a guy i dated a second chance, and unless there is a compelling reason or change in a friend/acquaintance, i tend to keep them (no closer than) the outer periphery of my life.
i tend to do decent job maintaining friendships, and if they've slipped from my radar, there's usually a reason for this--and i'm ok with keeping them where they are.
I always say you can't go wrong with brutal honesty. If you don't want the past around (or know it is just a bad idea to keep it around), tell the past to get lost. If there is good reason to keep the past around, set limits up front and be ready to boot the past out if it violates those limits. Of course, I'm one of those sometimes abrasively assertive people who can scare people off or at least encourage them keep their distance without even trying so…. maybe if you like having people around a little tact could be useful.
J
In my personal experience a common technique of Satan is to keeping dragging the past into the present-- especially if it is a part of your past where sin was prevalent. For instance, I have recently been trying to put the past behind me with finishing my master degree, a new career, and getting closer to Jesus than I have been in my entire life.
Of course, not a month later, out of nowhere, someone from my past reaches out to my sister from Facebook trying to get in touch with me( I intentionally make it hard to look me up on the internet ). Anyways, this person is someone I used to do drugs with and all kinds of other sinful stuff. To me, the timing was just to suspicious to be a coincidence.
Of course, not a month later, out of nowhere, someone from my past reaches out to my sister from Facebook trying to get in touch with me( I intentionally make it hard to look me up on the internet ). Anyways, this person is someone I used to do drugs with and all kinds of other sinful stuff. To me, the timing was just to suspicious to be a coincidence.
When the past knocked on my door, I opened the door and asked it "What took you so long?"
And it responded: "You were always two steps ahead of me"
And I responded: "You know what, I am over you, and I don't have time for you right now, I've got a date with the future"
Then I slammed the door in its face!!!
My past then retired and moved to a seniors home in Florida, and was never heard from again.
And it responded: "You were always two steps ahead of me"
And I responded: "You know what, I am over you, and I don't have time for you right now, I've got a date with the future"
Then I slammed the door in its face!!!
My past then retired and moved to a seniors home in Florida, and was never heard from again.
If someone from my past came knocking on my door I'd be very suspicious since my best friend passed away years ago, another friend died tragically years ago too, and the only other friend I had is having too much fun raising his kid and enojying his family. As far as women I've dated, there's one I've been trying to find on facebook but no luck. The others probably don't even remember me anymore. :/
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