How Do You Feel About Telling Opposite Gender Friends You Love Them?
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I guess I've had a few unconventional situations in my life... The good friend I mentioned who is getting married and his future bride has been so kind and accepting of me is someone I have known him over 15 years and we hit it off as friends right away pretty much the first day we met.
Through the years, we kind of "kept each other company", and always as just friends. Every Christmas, birthday, and Valentine's Day when we weren't seeing someone we would exchange cards and presents. He had an artistic talent and put together a gorgeous bouquet of flowers for my birthday one year. And I'll never forget the year I attempted to make two homemade cakes with the name and logo of his favorite baseball team on them. (We won't mention how they turned out. The good thing is that at least he could recognize the name of his beloved team.)
We would hang out with each other's families, go to church... (and these were every-now-and-then occasions... We didn't hang out all the time, maybe once a month or every other month.) There were a lot of ups and downs. But not once in all that time did we ever do anything "romantic" such as hold hands or kiss. All we ever did was give each other a hug goodbye.
The entire inspiration for this thread was that I thought about my friend today and how much he helped me through some really empty, lonely times... and I texted him to tell him that and thank you for always being there.
I didn't text "Love you" because his bride-to-be wasn't with him, but if she had been (when I was still living in the same area and very ill one weekend, they went to the drugstore together and brought me cough syrup) I would have written, "Love and hugs to you both."
Through the years, we kind of "kept each other company", and always as just friends. Every Christmas, birthday, and Valentine's Day when we weren't seeing someone we would exchange cards and presents. He had an artistic talent and put together a gorgeous bouquet of flowers for my birthday one year. And I'll never forget the year I attempted to make two homemade cakes with the name and logo of his favorite baseball team on them. (We won't mention how they turned out. The good thing is that at least he could recognize the name of his beloved team.)
We would hang out with each other's families, go to church... (and these were every-now-and-then occasions... We didn't hang out all the time, maybe once a month or every other month.) There were a lot of ups and downs. But not once in all that time did we ever do anything "romantic" such as hold hands or kiss. All we ever did was give each other a hug goodbye.
The entire inspiration for this thread was that I thought about my friend today and how much he helped me through some really empty, lonely times... and I texted him to tell him that and thank you for always being there.
I didn't text "Love you" because his bride-to-be wasn't with him, but if she had been (when I was still living in the same area and very ill one weekend, they went to the drugstore together and brought me cough syrup) I would have written, "Love and hugs to you both."
S
Howwww about I don't? Try reading my statement again. Then consider that I know me very well, I know the woman very well, I know the nature of our relationship very well, and I know the nature of our current situation very well. Therefore, I would deduce that I am quite aptly qualified to know what to do in the situation. How much do you know about the situation? *smirk*
You weren't really here when Ed (GreenNNice) was a regular poster; that dude was probably the kindest, gentlest soul on the Singles Forum. Yet he got more than one stern word from me when he ran his "You can do it go get the girl just say it don't you want it why don't you want to ask her just talj to her WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO HER" schtick one (or four) too many times. While your intentions are most likely kind and you mean well (and I appreciate that), consider that
1. I was answering a question, not asking for advice and
2. I intentionally limited the information I revealed to the bare minimum needed to respond. There's always more to the story if my post doesn't require you to scroll twice. ^_^
Rest easy, bro. I got this.
You weren't really here when Ed (GreenNNice) was a regular poster; that dude was probably the kindest, gentlest soul on the Singles Forum. Yet he got more than one stern word from me when he ran his "You can do it go get the girl just say it don't you want it why don't you want to ask her just talj to her WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO HER" schtick one (or four) too many times. While your intentions are most likely kind and you mean well (and I appreciate that), consider that
1. I was answering a question, not asking for advice and
2. I intentionally limited the information I revealed to the bare minimum needed to respond. There's always more to the story if my post doesn't require you to scroll twice. ^_^
Rest easy, bro. I got this.
W
I will tell female friends that I love them, but I do balk at saying it to the male friends, even if we've already clearly established that we're only platonic friends. But I still want to let them know that I love them, and it kind of feels like I'm being unfair to them by treating them differently from the girls, you know? Usually I just trust that I've shown them in other ways that I do love them, so they must already know. But if they say it first, I'll say it back. I think I might have said it first once or twice.
P
Set boundaries must be established. It is also too easy for one to end up developing feelings for the other and get friendzoned while he/she finds someone else. Relationships take a lot of time, investment and energy that would be given towards friendships, the friendship will diminish in someways. Having a close friend of the opposite sex still hanging around will cause conflict in the relationship and relationships are complicated enough. Out of respect for the mate, that mate should be his/her main priority.
M
I don't tell people I love them. Well, except on here, but that's either including a whole bunch of people at once, or reminding someone else that a whole bunch of us care about them.
"I love you" is a tricky little phrase that packs a punch. I don't say it to male friends and I prefer if they don't say it to me...it just muddies the waters and my head is enough of a mess.
"I love you" is a tricky little phrase that packs a punch. I don't say it to male friends and I prefer if they don't say it to me...it just muddies the waters and my head is enough of a mess.
K
Oh come on now - really PopClick? Look - people - this woman won't shut up with the "i luve ewe" thing. When I was at work last week I opened a storage room door and there she was "i luv ewe'. I was with friends going out to eat and sitting in a booth having a nice conversation and she pops up from behind "i luv ewe'. Really? PopClick? she followed me all the way outside going 'iluvewe' 'iluvewe'. I was on the INTERSTATE yesterday going up under an over pass and there she was will a bullhorn 'I LUUUVE EWWWWE' !!
it sounds.........desperate somewhow when she says it. Real jerry springer type desperate.
it sounds.........desperate somewhow when she says it. Real jerry springer type desperate.
S
*sighs*
*closes eyes*
*pinches bridge of nose*
I can't tell if you're being serious, or joking, or just trying to drag more information out of me. So, here's all the information you will get, and I will have nothing more to say about it. We have talked about it. Extensively. Which is precisely why I know how the situation stands, what to do, and what not to do. Once again, people are making assumptions about things they THINK they know about, but do not. I do love the fact, though, that there are several forum members who know the score because they've talked with me and her about it, and instead of teasing me about it (as they are often apt to do), they're leaving it alone. (Probably because I get enough teasing in chat for it.)
Some of you guys reading this thread have made this out into an unrequited-secret-romantic-mysterious thing. You're all drunk on the Tintin/Arlene juice (or Scype/Azure, or Nanners/Rick); that sort of deal is NOT what's happening here. There is an unmarried woman I care deeply about. She cares deeply about me. We've talked about it. She knows (and is likely laughing her brains out about all of this, as are Gypsy, Misty, Steve, and Ames) the score. It's all good. So let it be, yo. Otherwise, I'mma have to go Elmer Fudd on this joint.
*closes eyes*
*pinches bridge of nose*
I can't tell if you're being serious, or joking, or just trying to drag more information out of me. So, here's all the information you will get, and I will have nothing more to say about it. We have talked about it. Extensively. Which is precisely why I know how the situation stands, what to do, and what not to do. Once again, people are making assumptions about things they THINK they know about, but do not. I do love the fact, though, that there are several forum members who know the score because they've talked with me and her about it, and instead of teasing me about it (as they are often apt to do), they're leaving it alone. (Probably because I get enough teasing in chat for it.)
Some of you guys reading this thread have made this out into an unrequited-secret-romantic-mysterious thing. You're all drunk on the Tintin/Arlene juice (or Scype/Azure, or Nanners/Rick); that sort of deal is NOT what's happening here. There is an unmarried woman I care deeply about. She cares deeply about me. We've talked about it. She knows (and is likely laughing her brains out about all of this, as are Gypsy, Misty, Steve, and Ames) the score. It's all good. So let it be, yo. Otherwise, I'mma have to go Elmer Fudd on this joint.
