Dear God,
My turkey is pretty torqued today. I feel like you keep shaking up my whole world, I guess I'd compare this feeling to what it might be like to live inside a kaleidoscope. I don't know what's real and what's mere illusion. I don't want to keep being spun around. I would gladly give up all the pretty colors just to have some kind of stability.
Lord, nothing makes sense right now. Nothing has made sense for a reeeeally long time. I don't understand Your ways, but I'm trying to believe that You've got this under control. It's particularly difficult to do when I feel so completely OUT of control. You've brought me to my knees so many times in the last few months...
I've been a complete lunatic in front of total strangers- You've stripped me of my pride.
I've wrenched my heart back from those who didn't want it anyway- You've got it to yourself now.
I've handed over my own and my children's lives for you to guide and protect- You've kept me completely off balance ever since.
I don't know how to do this. I don't know what You want. What am I holding back from You? Take it! Whatever it is, it's yours...just please...I've had enough.
And stand, keep standing never give up dependance on the Lord, as the Hebrews released from bondage, camped out by the Red sea and the Egyptians come to take them back, steal, kill and destroy, fear all over them, yelling screaming help.
And read the story, doe God always come through? And what power is shown?
Did the red sea really part and the land dry up mover night? Or are our minds being toyed with?
Did Jesus really do all those miracles or not?
So is God worth the wait all in all or not?
You are being tested by the enemy, as like in Job, when the enemy said no wonder Job won't curse you God. Look at that hedge you have around him, take that down and I bet Christen will curse you?
So you see it is not about if you sin or not, more about whether you will stand through all the pain or not and just believe as Job continued to believe yet sinned just as we all have, but never cursed God, even told his wife, she can but he won't
So all I can say Sister, is stand, never give up on God coming through, as the Hebrews really never did, yet did, that is just a part of our flesh and blood that is not redeemed, that wants it all to just go right, and does not.
Hope and pray this might have helped you in your adversity. For I know God has not left you nor forsaken you and never will
Will you last through it all, and remain steadfast all in all?
I think you will as even if you do ever check out, you seriously will never leave, will you, can you?
It surely is not easy I know, been through it, still going through it as not only you, but all are, whether divorced, married, big house small house, lots of money or not
Did you know Howard Hughes was not happy with all that money? Had no true friends, all they wanted was his money
the owner of General mills committed suicide.
The nice glossy things of this world are really that tree of evil that Adam and Eve ate from
And Christ himself was offered this from the Enemy in the desert to bow down and worship him, and he would give him all the riches of the world.
Love you as you grow deeper into death to self and deeper to just trust no mater what
And if I am not helpful please tell me to stop, I am not here to offend but to kill, as Peter was told Peter kill and eat when he had those three dreams, and ended up at the gentiles house, and God spoke the word through him and even before any water Baptism God by their belief entered into them and killed them to their own selfish ways, made them alive in a totally new way, that this world has taken on to decieve us all, to only see the death and not the new life in Spirit and truth that glories in all tragedies, being content knowing they are no matter what still safe in God, thanks to Son
So can you live above these circumstances?