Worried about my type of mate
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"I want God to guide me but not where I don't want to go." That's essentially what you're saying.
I think you just need to relax. Yes, God definitely has a hand in who we meet and the paths in our lives. But it's also up to us. Just because someone doesn't match your specific physical qualifications means they are a weirdo or not your type.
I think you just need to relax. Yes, God definitely has a hand in who we meet and the paths in our lives. But it's also up to us. Just because someone doesn't match your specific physical qualifications means they are a weirdo or not your type.
What the hee haw is this???!!! I don't even...
I'll only say one thing: stereotypes really, really suck. Collecting "research" from the internet about an entire group of people (or gender) and then actually believing all the collective (hog wash) that you read... is not wisdom in any way, shape, or form.
Signed, a Singles Forum Token Asian Woman.
I'll only say one thing: stereotypes really, really suck. Collecting "research" from the internet about an entire group of people (or gender) and then actually believing all the collective (hog wash) that you read... is not wisdom in any way, shape, or form.
Signed, a Singles Forum Token Asian Woman.
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Troubledgirl,
I can understand your concerns, seeing as I still sometimes worry that God will send me someone I don't like (and I'm 40.) This is because I've met Christian couples who felt God was telling them to marry their spouse and it WAS someone they were totally uninterested in at the time. (From what I've read, Martin Luther of the Lutheran church had no interest in marrying his future wife, but she was reportedly very persistent.)
I used to think I had a "type" as well but have found it's really died down over the years. As I've met and been exposed to different kinds of people, I've discovered that there might be something about someone I'd never considered before that I could really fall for. I am Asian but did not grow up around Asians--I always pictured myself marrying someone white because that's all I really knew.
The guy I wound up marrying was half-Asian and half-white. I would have NEVER in my life thought I'd marry an Asian because I'd heard so many horror stories of Asian families completely rejecting someone adopted like myself. But I was crazy about him. There were things about him and his experiences that no one else I'd ever met had ever related to in my life (such as, being called an Asian racist name and told to "Go home" or having kids "slant" their eyes at me in public, which I still sometimes get even as an adult.) All of these unique experiences created a deep bond I had never known could exist.
Sadly, things did not work out but it was an important lesson. I fell more in love than I ever thought possible with someone who was very different from what I had envisioned. This will sound trivial but several years later, I went shopping for a certain kind of car and I had a very particular color in mind. The dealership didn't have the color I wanted but gave me a deal on another color they had in stock. I grew to love that car even more than the one I originally set out to buy.
I honestly believe God was saying to me, "What if that's how other things will be in your life, Kim? What if I put things or people in your life that you never thought you'd accept, but I know you're going to love them even more than you could have ever thought? Will you trust me to do that?" God knows us better than we know ourselves, which I know can be frightening and hard to admit. One of my best friends always tells me, "God may not give you what you want, but He will give you what you need."
I really do understand your fears, Troubledgirl. Would you believe I still have them too? But I know God has worked with me over the years and I'm not as afraid anymore (though admittedly I do still have a little bit of fear...)
But I know He is faithful and will continue to work with me... and as you pray to Him, He'll work with you too.
Blessings to you!
I can understand your concerns, seeing as I still sometimes worry that God will send me someone I don't like (and I'm 40.) This is because I've met Christian couples who felt God was telling them to marry their spouse and it WAS someone they were totally uninterested in at the time. (From what I've read, Martin Luther of the Lutheran church had no interest in marrying his future wife, but she was reportedly very persistent.)
I used to think I had a "type" as well but have found it's really died down over the years. As I've met and been exposed to different kinds of people, I've discovered that there might be something about someone I'd never considered before that I could really fall for. I am Asian but did not grow up around Asians--I always pictured myself marrying someone white because that's all I really knew.
The guy I wound up marrying was half-Asian and half-white. I would have NEVER in my life thought I'd marry an Asian because I'd heard so many horror stories of Asian families completely rejecting someone adopted like myself. But I was crazy about him. There were things about him and his experiences that no one else I'd ever met had ever related to in my life (such as, being called an Asian racist name and told to "Go home" or having kids "slant" their eyes at me in public, which I still sometimes get even as an adult.) All of these unique experiences created a deep bond I had never known could exist.
Sadly, things did not work out but it was an important lesson. I fell more in love than I ever thought possible with someone who was very different from what I had envisioned. This will sound trivial but several years later, I went shopping for a certain kind of car and I had a very particular color in mind. The dealership didn't have the color I wanted but gave me a deal on another color they had in stock. I grew to love that car even more than the one I originally set out to buy.
I honestly believe God was saying to me, "What if that's how other things will be in your life, Kim? What if I put things or people in your life that you never thought you'd accept, but I know you're going to love them even more than you could have ever thought? Will you trust me to do that?" God knows us better than we know ourselves, which I know can be frightening and hard to admit. One of my best friends always tells me, "God may not give you what you want, but He will give you what you need."
I really do understand your fears, Troubledgirl. Would you believe I still have them too? But I know God has worked with me over the years and I'm not as afraid anymore (though admittedly I do still have a little bit of fear...)
But I know He is faithful and will continue to work with me... and as you pray to Him, He'll work with you too.
Blessings to you!
It´s very important you consider and loved your personal likes and preferences (I do know it for sure).
One thing I know (my likes) and several years ago I fell in love with a fat psychologist I met. She was taller and heavier than I am. Her age and pony tail was also the way I liked, but I learned to set MY OWN LIMITS to me.
If I had given GOD the right to be the matchmaker I NEEDED, the end result could be different, but i have lived enough (Hope He now sees the limits I want Him "to respect").
The more I dared to say: "Don´t do this, God" the more He has the right to do whatever thing He plans to do with my life: He is THE LORD.
What if I had to use the sidewalk to reach the cheek of the woman He had largely planned for me, and I stubbornly liked girls shorter than 5´.5" ?
Nooo!!!!
I passed by!.
One thing I know (my likes) and several years ago I fell in love with a fat psychologist I met. She was taller and heavier than I am. Her age and pony tail was also the way I liked, but I learned to set MY OWN LIMITS to me.
If I had given GOD the right to be the matchmaker I NEEDED, the end result could be different, but i have lived enough (Hope He now sees the limits I want Him "to respect").
The more I dared to say: "Don´t do this, God" the more He has the right to do whatever thing He plans to do with my life: He is THE LORD.
What if I had to use the sidewalk to reach the cheek of the woman He had largely planned for me, and I stubbornly liked girls shorter than 5´.5" ?
Nooo!!!!
I passed by!.
For the record, I suppose I should answer the... (keep a lid on it, Kim, be good...) questions, though in reverse order.
1. The notion that Asian women have no standards as far as the age of a companion goes is usually something peddled and promoted by human traffickers and Hollywood. In other words... people who make their money by selling young Asian women to old foreign men want to make sure they have a customer base that believes in the supposed validity of their products. Often, these "traffickers" are the girls' own families because they feel they have no other choice. "Travel groups" cater to those all over the world who want to hook up with or bring home young (sometimes underage) Asian women.
Keep in mind that Asia is also a place where it can be common (not always true, but much more common than in, say, the USA) for society to see a young woman snagging a presumedly rich older foreign man (in some areas of these countries, if you have a job or any money in your pocket, you will be seen as rich) as the family salvation. And yes. In many cases, you will be expected to provide for her entire family as well.
Take just a minute to think about "blanket" statements you have heard about your own country, people, and gender. Are they all true? Do they all apply to everyone? Would you want us all to believe everything we read on the internet about your country?
Likewise, please don't believe all the garbage you read about others as well.
2. Do all Asian women like Jackie Chan?
Yes, of course! So glad you asked. I like Jackie Chan.
Especially when he was in The Forbidden Kingdom... getting his butt kicked by Jet Li.
(I have nothing against Jackie Chan. He's incredibly talented and charismatic. But I figured... one ridiculous Asian stereotype certainly deserves another.)
1. The notion that Asian women have no standards as far as the age of a companion goes is usually something peddled and promoted by human traffickers and Hollywood. In other words... people who make their money by selling young Asian women to old foreign men want to make sure they have a customer base that believes in the supposed validity of their products. Often, these "traffickers" are the girls' own families because they feel they have no other choice. "Travel groups" cater to those all over the world who want to hook up with or bring home young (sometimes underage) Asian women.
Keep in mind that Asia is also a place where it can be common (not always true, but much more common than in, say, the USA) for society to see a young woman snagging a presumedly rich older foreign man (in some areas of these countries, if you have a job or any money in your pocket, you will be seen as rich) as the family salvation. And yes. In many cases, you will be expected to provide for her entire family as well.
Take just a minute to think about "blanket" statements you have heard about your own country, people, and gender. Are they all true? Do they all apply to everyone? Would you want us all to believe everything we read on the internet about your country?
Likewise, please don't believe all the garbage you read about others as well.
2. Do all Asian women like Jackie Chan?
Yes, of course! So glad you asked. I like Jackie Chan.
Especially when he was in The Forbidden Kingdom... getting his butt kicked by Jet Li.
(I have nothing against Jackie Chan. He's incredibly talented and charismatic. But I figured... one ridiculous Asian stereotype certainly deserves another.)
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Hi, Kim!
Allow me to thank you for this: "2. Do all Asian women like Jackie Chan?
Yes, of course! So glad you asked. I like Jackie Chan.
Especially when he was in The Forbidden Kingdom... getting his butt kicked by Jet Li.
(I have nothing against Jackie Chan. He's incredibly talented and charismatic. But I figured... one ridiculous Asian stereotype certainly deserves another.)"
The rest of the post I still reading, trying to process and digest... (Lunch time here, my mother´s)
At least I don´t know what you ment here (The Forbidden Kingdom). I plan to google it to see if it a movie and, the same I will do to know who is "Jet Li". I don´t know whom she or he is, but I figured out what it was meant.
Allow me to thank you for this: "2. Do all Asian women like Jackie Chan?
Yes, of course! So glad you asked. I like Jackie Chan.
Especially when he was in The Forbidden Kingdom... getting his butt kicked by Jet Li.
(I have nothing against Jackie Chan. He's incredibly talented and charismatic. But I figured... one ridiculous Asian stereotype certainly deserves another.)"
The rest of the post I still reading, trying to process and digest... (Lunch time here, my mother´s)
At least I don´t know what you ment here (The Forbidden Kingdom). I plan to google it to see if it a movie and, the same I will do to know who is "Jet Li". I don´t know whom she or he is, but I figured out what it was meant.
Yes!
That´s true! you are right: "please don't believe everything you read on the internet or about an entire group of women. "
At first sight I thought Jet Li was a woman... Now I know "she" could kick my butt for being too mistaken.
I always tried to get knowledge 1st hand and, if I had to believe solely you, when saying this: "please don't believe everything you read" I felt confused.
Naively I wouldn ´t say: Why are you posting (on the internet ) too many polls and threads trying to grasp your own truth?
I know the answer: You are looking after your truth, as a soul searcher.
We both do the same.
Thanks! And, as one single human, I know what certain things mean: "You seem like a really good guy and we're glad you're here"
1) I´m not good.
2) And it´s ok if you are right.
I do believe the kindness of people´s thoughts poured in your posts and polls.
I do belive many things posted here (more when these have shown coherency with verifyable deeds) and I´m developing something bigger than my natural discerment I thought I had, and I also thank GOD for helping us being so close.
I´m going to process your point one (I haven´t finished reading).
That´s true! you are right: "please don't believe everything you read on the internet or about an entire group of women. "
At first sight I thought Jet Li was a woman... Now I know "she" could kick my butt for being too mistaken.
I always tried to get knowledge 1st hand and, if I had to believe solely you, when saying this: "please don't believe everything you read" I felt confused.
Naively I wouldn ´t say: Why are you posting (on the internet ) too many polls and threads trying to grasp your own truth?
I know the answer: You are looking after your truth, as a soul searcher.
We both do the same.
Thanks! And, as one single human, I know what certain things mean: "You seem like a really good guy and we're glad you're here"
1) I´m not good.
2) And it´s ok if you are right.
I do believe the kindness of people´s thoughts poured in your posts and polls.
I do belive many things posted here (more when these have shown coherency with verifyable deeds) and I´m developing something bigger than my natural discerment I thought I had, and I also thank GOD for helping us being so close.
I´m going to process your point one (I haven´t finished reading).
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Oh! Thanks Kim!
I read and understood that of the marketting of Asians...
"Take just a minute tothink about "blanket" statements you have heard about yourown country, people, and gender. Are they all true? Do they all applyto everyone? Would you want us all to believe everything we read onthe Internet about your country? "
Again, I´m glad I was taken as naive and goofed at.
That´s why I could be viewed as you kindly said as "good".
Mat 19:17 So He said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments."
I read and understood that of the marketting of Asians...
"Take just a minute tothink about "blanket" statements you have heard about yourown country, people, and gender. Are they all true? Do they all applyto everyone? Would you want us all to believe everything we read onthe Internet about your country? "
Again, I´m glad I was taken as naive and goofed at.
That´s why I could be viewed as you kindly said as "good".
Mat 19:17 So He said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments."
If "god" would give you a wacko, a monster, etc., He is pretty sure you would be divorced BEFORE YOU´VE GOT MARRIED... Obvious, young girl, you don´t trust He loves you the way you want to be loved.
Just give "them" the chance to think the same way the NORMALLY think. Be of shape, be loyal enough, NEVER do what "Bella" did with Jacob (Twinlight movies) and be sure enough you would never be cheated on (never you would fool another when a KEN man comes to you).
He will give YOU the best, I hope you grow OLD to give him, the one GOD could pick for you, the best.
Just give "them" the chance to think the same way the NORMALLY think. Be of shape, be loyal enough, NEVER do what "Bella" did with Jacob (Twinlight movies) and be sure enough you would never be cheated on (never you would fool another when a KEN man comes to you).
He will give YOU the best, I hope you grow OLD to give him, the one GOD could pick for you, the best.
