Is it hard/good to date a non-Christian?

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H

Hopey

Guest
#1
#1
There's this guy who says he likes me a lot however he keeps asking me to do sexual stuff and have sex with him even though I've told him that I want to wait to marriage but he doesn't understand. In the beginning when we first started talking he was so sweet but now all he ever talks to me about is sexual stuff which is starting to annoy me a bit because it makes me think he just wants to use me and we're not even properly dating yet. I'll feel bad telling him that maybe it's not a good idea for us to get together because we want different things in life but I still want us to be friends. How should I tell him this and I want to know if anyone has dated a non-Christian before and whether they found it harder to date a non-Christian as opposed to a Christian? And what are your thoughts on Christians and non-Christians dating?
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#2
#2
My advice? Tell him to get lost.

OF COURSE he wants to use you! You're 17, you're not even dating, and he's pushing for sex. Does any of that reeeeally sound like a good thing to you?

Don't screw up your life over one guy who doesn't care about you. Please.
 
N

NadiaM

Guest
#3
#3
I've been in the same position as you a looong time ago! and to make this short; its not a good idea to date a non-christian! It was hard! He wanted me to talk dirty to him and we just started to go out.. i kept feeling uncomfortable around him so I broke up with him. It was the best for me. Now I'm dating a christian boy and we've been going out for 2 years and a half :) our relationship is amazing and hopefully you'll find your perfect match! God bless <3
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#4
Mar 13, 2014
42,386
16,871
113
69
Tennessee
#4
Hopey said:
There's this guy who says he likes me a lot however he keeps asking me to do sexual stuff and have sex with him even though I've told him that I want to wait to marriage but he doesn't understand. In the beginning when we first started talking he was so sweet but now all he ever talks to me about is sexual stuff which is starting to annoy me a bit because it makes me think he just wants to use me and we're not even properly dating yet. I'll feel bad telling him that maybe it's not a good idea for us to get together because we want different things in life but I still want us to be friends. How should I tell him this and I want to know if anyone has dated a non-Christian before and whether they found it harder to date a non-Christian as opposed to a Christian? And what are your thoughts on Christians and non-Christians dating?
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Tell him to get lost. Dating a non-Christian is a horrible idea. I am quite sure that he will not want to be 'friends' with you so don't even offer him that option. Tell him that you will pray for him and that God has other plans for your life.
 
H

Hopey

Guest
#5
#5
Ahhhh thank you, you're so right he does want to use me:(. Okay I'll tell him that we shouldn't start anything because I really don't want to mess up my life over him. Thank you so much, I really needed advice, stay blessed x
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
Hopey said:
There's this guy who says he likes me a lot however he keeps asking me to do sexual stuff and have sex with him even though I've told him that I want to wait to marriage but he doesn't understand. In the beginning when we first started talking he was so sweet but now all he ever talks to me about is sexual stuff which is starting to annoy me a bit because it makes me think he just wants to use me and we're not even properly dating yet. I'll feel bad telling him that maybe it's not a good idea for us to get together because we want different things in life but I still want us to be friends. How should I tell him this and I want to know if anyone has dated a non-Christian before and whether they found it harder to date a non-Christian as opposed to a Christian? And what are your thoughts on Christians and non-Christians dating?
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This guy is a selfish user who only talked sweet and befriend you to get sex from you. And now that you're friends, despite that you keep telling him no, he continues to push you for sex, without even dating. He cares nothing about you at all and only sees you as a thing to add a notch on his bedpost. Yet you would feel bad for kicking him out of your life? Sorry, that's really messed up. He doesn't care about you, your feelings or what you say, not one bit. But you're worried about his feelings for responding to his insensitive and using attitude? He doesn't care about your feelings. And kicking him out of your life won't hurt his feelings, either. Because he has none towards you. You're nothing more than a piece of tail he's trying to get in bed and you think you're going to hurt his feelings?

Still want to be friends? WHY?? He's not your friend. He doesn't care anything about you. This is one of the most common mistakes i see women make. They care more about 'staying friends' with people than taking the trash out. This guy is a user, not a friend, and the sooner you realize this and boot him out the better off you'll be. Stop deluding yourself into thinking he cares an ounce about you or that there is any real friendship.

Search for this topic about dating non-Christians, as there are already countless threads already existing on this topic.

It should also be mentioned that guys that push that hard for sex are a huge red flag and a potential threat to forcing themselves on you if you don't comply eventually.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#7
May 23, 2009
16,221
5,191
113
#7
Both Christians and non-Christians, men and women, can be people who push for sex.

I met a guy who could quote the Old Testament in Hebrew STRONGLY hint, several times on the same first date, that he was interested in a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement. I was completely and thoroughly disgusted. And, he was trying to tell me what kind of church to look for as well! (Apparently, one that preaches the Word but doesn't believe in living it.)

Please, you are worth so much more than this. There are other guys who are not like this. Hold out for one of them.

From the way this person is acting, I can say pretty confidently say that if you give in, he will dump you and move on to his next conquest, because that's all he's looking for. I hope you are surrounded by a good support system who will reinforce to you that you are not meant to be reduced to an object to brag over (if he gets what he's trying to get, he'll tell everyone about it as well--think about not only your truth worth but your future reputation as well.)

Would you really want his friends, your friends, and everyone around you to know what happened between you? Because that is what's going to happen.

Ugly brings up an excellent point--your safety may also be at risk as well.
 
H

Hopey

Guest
#8
#8
NadiaM said:
I've been in the same position as you a looong time ago! and to make this short; its not a good idea to date a non-christian! It was hard! He wanted me to talk dirty to him and we just started to go out.. i kept feeling uncomfortable around him so I broke up with him. It was the best for me. Now I'm dating a christian boy and we've been going out for 2 years and a half :) our relationship is amazing and hopefully you'll find your perfect match! God bless <3
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Wow you've literally described what I'm going through, thank you and I hope so to but I find it hard to find a nice Christian guy. Maybe I should just wait and be patient I'm only 17 :D . God blees x
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#9
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#9
please, just run.

as a general rule, any guy who thinks it's ok to make a habit of overtly or indirectly referencing sex in general (or in specific to you) is something that should cause major alarms to go off in your head.

often guys will early on, joke and make subtle references of sex to test waters, and see what they can get away with. you should try to listen for this, because those references are seldom accidentally (or innocently) made, especially towards a 17 year old.

with predators, this is called "grooming" behavior, designed to slowly warm you up and desensitize you to the topic until it no longer seems as wildly inappropriate as it is.

and i need to say this: any guy who overtly asks you for sex should motivate you to run and cut off all contact with him, seriously.

also, i strongly discourage you from dating non-christians. suffice it to say the argument against it is long and compelling.
 
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H

Hopey

Guest
#10
#10
Ugly said:
This guy is a selfish user who only talked sweet and befriend you to get sex from you. And now that you're friends, despite that you keep telling him no, he continues to push you for sex, without even dating. He cares nothing about you at all and only sees you as a thing to add a notch on his bedpost. Yet you would feel bad for kicking him out of your life? Sorry, that's really messed up. He doesn't care about you, your feelings or what you say, not one bit. But you're worried about his feelings for responding to his insensitive and using attitude? He doesn't care about your feelings. And kicking him out of your life won't hurt his feelings, either. Because he has none towards you. You're nothing more than a piece of tail he's trying to get in bed and you think you're going to hurt his feelings?

Still want to be friends? WHY?? He's not your friend. He doesn't care anything about you. This is one of the most common mistakes i see women make. They care more about 'staying friends' with people than taking the trash out. This guy is a user, not a friend, and the sooner you realize this and boot him out the better off you'll be. Stop deluding yourself into thinking he cares an ounce about you or that there is any real friendship.

Search for this topic about dating non-Christians, as there are already countless threads already existing on this topic.

It should also be mentioned that guys that push that hard for sex are a huge red flag and a potential threat to forcing themselves on you if you don't comply eventually.
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Wow that really hit me, like I've never thought of it that way but thank you've really made me see sense and you're right that I shouldn't try and remain friends with him because he probably does even care for me. Thanks again and stay blessed
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#11
#11
Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#12
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#12
Is that dating to enjoy ice-creams or to play with more evils?
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#14
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#14
Seems to me you have a right notion that you don't want to be with this guy. Now this guy does seem a little creepy to me as others have pointed out, but I suppose to be fair he could jsut be a confused young man himself.

Either way since you don't want a relationship with him, that's all that matters. Whether he is Prince Charming or Count Creeper matters not.

Seems to me now that is out of the way the real hard part is telling him in a way not to come off as mean. My suggestion would be simply tell him you think you are too young right now. Maybe also that being 17 means you're probably towards the end of highschool. So you could also say truthfully that you are not interested in a relationship at the moment since you are more concerned about finishing school.
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#15
#15
secularhermit said:
This sounded sad to be heard:

"From 2010 through 2012, Hansen had an affair with another journalist, Kristyn Caddell, which led to his departure from NBC."
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Well, now I'm crushed.
 
meli90

meli90

Member
#16
Jul 25, 2009
57
0
6
#16
Hopey,

I am married now. But not too long ago I was 17 years old. And from personal experience and what the bible says I advice you to just tell this guy to please leave you alone and stop pursuing you. I would recommend that you don't even try to be friends with him. He crossed the line of respect so a friendship won't work. As for the dating a non-christian I do not advice that. The bible says to not be unequally yoked. The purpose of dating is to get to know people in the hopes of culminating in marriage. And to marry a non Christian knowingly is sinning. The reason is the light has no relationship with darkness. :)
 
H

Hopey

Guest
#17
#17
GodIsSalvation said:
Seems to me you have a right notion that you don't want to be with this guy. Now this guy does seem a little creepy to me as others have pointed out, but I suppose to be fair he could jsut be a confused young man himself.

Either way since you don't want a relationship with him, that's all that matters. Whether he is Prince Charming or Count Creeper matters not.

Seems to me now that is out of the way the real hard part is telling him in a way not to come off as mean. My suggestion would be simply tell him you think you are too young right now. Maybe also that being 17 means you're probably towards the end of highschool. So you could also say truthfully that you are not interested in a relationship at the moment since you are more concerned about finishing school.
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Yeah I do feel too young right now and I've always made the decision not to date till I'm at least in University (college) because I would feel more mature and ready to date and I would rather focus the next year on my exams. This what I will tell him thanks a lot, God Bless.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#18
#18
I don't believe it's wise to date a non-Christian, you have very different beliefs and values. It sounds like he's not honouring you. Run, while you still can. If he tries anything, kick him in the goolies and then run. I'm serious, don't play with fire!
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#19
#19
Hopey said:
Yeah I do feel too young right now and I've always made the decision not to date till I'm at least in University (college) because I would feel more mature and ready to date and I would rather focus the next year on my exams. This what I will tell him thanks a lot, God Bless.
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Personally i'd tell him he's a sex obsessed dog and you're waiting for a real man that has genuine care and concern and respect for you, which he obviously doesn't have. But that's just me. :rolleyes:
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#20
#20
Hopey said:
Wow you've literally described what I'm going through, thank you and I hope so to but I find it hard to find a nice Christian guy. Maybe I should just wait and be patient I'm only 17 :D . God bless x
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This, totally this. You have plenty of time to grow and mature, both as a woman and in your faith. I only recently got into a relationship and it's my first and hopefully only. And I'm 30. So, if there's hope for me, there's most definitely hope for you. Just keep your eyes fixed on Christ. He'll make your path straight. Not easy, but straight.
 
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