The view: "Husbands are just another child to raise"

[Stephen63]

When I read threads like this, it forces me to come to these conclusions:

1. I'm so glad God picked me out a good mate for life, 'cuz if I tried by myself, all odds are against me finding a good, godly woman. Way too many "wannabees" out there.

2. Whenever a CC couple gets married from meeting in the Singles Forum, it's a M-A-J-O-R M-I-R-A-C-L-E of EXTREME PROPORTIONS!

3. There will be always be singles of all ages in the Singles Forum, 'cuz they don't see nor expect any miracles here. Just read the threads. When the other person/gender is always a mess, well........ need I say more? I always hear it's someone else....... if folks are blaming the "other one", who really are the "children" here? Go to the mirror, be a grown-up, & blame that one.

There's a correction needed here.... "They" should be "the majority". Thank you for your patience.

 

[PennEd]

I'm wondering if many men are acting like little children in their marriage because they are expected to be nothing but children. After all, people joke all the time that men are nothing more then little children. Are we as a nation causing men to become less then responsible because they hear this from childbirth on up? Are many becoming less responsible because the expectations are just not there? What do you think.

Every ad, Every sit-com, Every oprah-like show, the man, especially the father is portrayed as bumbling idiot.Here is one of my faves, and pretty much sums exactly what you are talking about...


[video=youtube;G9WpDp6DwQU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9WpDp6DwQU[/video]

 

[amymine712]

I agree!

I think the solution is to talk about women now.

: )

If you want to go ahead

 

[ChandlerFan]

I agree!

I think the solution is to talk about women now.

: )

That's A solution...but a rather immature one.

 

[tourist]

If you want to go ahead

Yes, but only nice things

 

[secularhermit]

Making a generalized blanket statement about a group of people shows how judgmental we can be. It isn't right or just to lump everyone in a group together. That is what breeds hatred and fuels racism. However we have all been like this at one time or another and it's up to the Lord to open our minds and hearts on the subject.

This sounds discriminative and bashing: [h=2]The view: "Husbands are just another child to raise"[/h]

 

[secularhermit]

When I read threads like this, it forces me to come to these conclusions:

1. I'm so glad God picked me out a good mate for life, 'cuz if I tried by myself, all odds are against me finding a good, godly woman. Way too many "wannabees" out there.

2. Whenever a CC couple gets married from meeting in the Singles Forum, it's a M-A-J-O-R M-I-R-A-C-L-E of EXTREME PROPORTIONS!

3. There will be always be singles of all ages in the Singles Forum, 'cuz they don't see nor expect any miracles here. Just read the threads. When the other person/gender is always a mess, well........ need I say more? I always hear it's someone else....... if folks are blaming the "other one", who really are the "children" here? Go to the mirror, be a grown-up, & blame that one.

Yes!

No doubt the scripture was intended to censor things like these:

Lev 19:14 Do not curse the deaf or put something in front of the blind so as to make them stumble over it. Obey me; I am the LORD your God.

Perhaps they chose wrongly the op.

 

[secularhermit]

This link will show it better: Husbands are not those kids you think.

Wives Still Do Laundry, Men Do Yard Work

This shows how bills should be paid fairly:

If you are married, how do you handle your bills? - chat, relationships

 

[secularhermit]

Yours, Mine, and Ours – Deciding Who Pays the Bills

 

[mailmandan]

I'm wondering if many men are acting like little children in their marriage because they are expected to be nothing but children. After all, people joke all the time that men are nothing more then little children. Are we as a nation causing men to become less then responsible because they hear this from childbirth on up? Are many becoming less responsible because the expectations are just not there? What do you think.

ALL I usually hear from my wife that is negative it that I'm not listening to her (when she rambles on about something) and I can't find anything.

 

[violakat]

Every ad, Every sit-com, Every oprah-like show, the man, especially the father is portrayed as bumbling idiot.Here is one of my faves, and pretty much sums exactly what you are talking about...


[video=youtube;G9WpDp6DwQU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9WpDp6DwQU[/video]

I was about to say he was passionate, and possibly this was how he earned his living, until I saw the end. Yeah, pretty much sums up a lot of what I was saying.

 

[violakat]

I want to make sure people realize that I'm not saying all men are acting like children, unless their name is DJ. Just kidding. But that many men act like children. In no way am I creating a generalization here. Brainstorming ideas of where as a society we have gone wrong, and maybe from that we can figure out how to correct this.

Secular, you said something about in your country that the men quite frequently take on the parental role with their wives. Would you expand on this?

 

[tourist]

I want to make sure people realize that I'm not saying all men are acting like children, unless their name is DJ. Just kidding. But that many men act like children. In no way am I creating a generalization here. Brainstorming ideas of where as a society we have gone wrong, and maybe from that we can figure out how to correct this.

Secular, you said something about in your country that the men quite frequently take on the parental role with their wives. Would you expand on this?

I had a boss by the name of DJ once. He very much acted like a child when throwing a tantrum that was usually directed at me. Fortunately, I knew how to pacify him.

 

[Fenner]

I'm wondering if many men are acting like little children in their marriage because they are expected to be nothing but children. After all, people joke all the time that men are nothing more then little children. Are we as a nation causing men to become less then responsible because they hear this from childbirth on up? Are many becoming less responsible because the expectations are just not there? What do you think.

It isn't like that in my house. With the exception of laundry. I do that because im home. We both do what needs to be done.

 

[maxwel]

I want to make sure people realize that I'm not saying all men are acting like children, unless their name is DJ. Just kidding. But that many men act like children. In no way am I creating a generalization here. Brainstorming ideas of where as a society we have gone wrong, and maybe from that we can figure out how to correct this.

Secular, you said something about in your country that the men quite frequently take on the parental role with their wives. Would you expand on this?

I'm afraid that we live in a culture, and an age, where MANY people act like children... people of both sexes.

If that seems at all mysterious, then just read the forums here on CC, or visit the chat rooms.

There is no shortage of immaturity ... from either sex.

It's just the world we live in.

 

[violakat]

I'm afraid that we live in a culture, and an age, where MANY people act like children... people of both sexes.

If that seems at all mysterious, then just read the forums here on CC, or visit the chat rooms.

There is no shortage of immaturity ... from either sex.

It's just the world we live in.

And you're right about that. There are many people who act like children. But why does it have to be just the world we live in? Why can't we expect responsibility from people, and have them try to reach this? I focused specifically on the men in this thread because of how we as a society (at least the US society), BOTH men and women joke around or dog men, by claiming that they are nothing more then children. To me this is a serious problem where we set up men to be less then what God made them to be, the Spiritual Leaders of the Home.

What brought this on is that a friend of my sister is having problems with her children. And I asked what her husband is doing about it, and she said that the wife says he's little more then a child himself. My first reaction was, why doesn't someone tell him to man up, to take responsibility and become the Spiritual Leader of his home? This whole situation started me to wonder why some men are becoming like children. And Maxwell, if you read my original post, you will see that I'm not generalizing men at all. In fact, nowhere in my post did I even mention that all men acted this way. Instead I said MANY men.

 

[MidniteWelder]

If you want to go ahead

Stop usin your reverse psychology mind tricks
Now I can't even think of nuthin' to say

 

[Shawn2516]

If women are raising the children, then why are they complaining their sons aren't turning into men?

Also, men is the only gender that gets told to "fix himself". Hey, your not doing X, Y, Z.. MAN UP!

Right.. because manning up solves every problem. Next time a girl has her tire blown out on the side of the road.. instead of helping her, i'll tell her to Woman Up!

PROBLEM SOLVED!

 

[CatHerder]

First of all, I want to point out that I do NOT see this as a bad thread. It's a very important and relevant subject. I don't see that the OP has said that she agrees with the point of view, but is just throwing it out there for discussion. I hope others see this as well and that it doesn't lead to man-bashing/woman-bashing.

I'm wondering if many men are acting like little children in their marriage because they are expected to be nothing but children. After all, people joke all the time that men are nothing more then little children. Are we as a nation causing men to become less then responsible because they hear this from childbirth on up? Are many becoming less responsible because the expectations are just not there? What do you think.

Yes. I believe there is a considerable amount of self fulfilling prophecy in this. That, coupled with "progress" as a society with our modern infrastructure, feminism, views on sex and gender roles, etc....

In my education classes, we read about an experiment in and elementary school in which an "average" class was told they were "gifted" and were fed throughout the year the "fact" that they were the "smart class." They rose to the occasion and out performed the students in the other classes...many of whom were that actual "gifted" kids (they tend not to run these experiments anymore, because they eventually decided that messing with little kids' minds wasn't right ). But if kids in elementary school rise (or fall) to the occasion based on having a label and expectations, wouldn't it make sense that being bombarded with the message that men are superfluous and bumbling idiots have an effect on a developing person?

But it's more than just expectations. For thirteen years of their childhood, kids are separated by age, with (usually) females as their primary authority figure. This is a relatively modern practice. Before, we had one room school houses where kids of different ages would be together. In this type of society also, it was quite common for people of all ages to work together and socialize together (I'm getting images of kids and menfolk putting up a barn together and wild square dancing afterward. It doesn't have to be that dorky, but you get the idea.) Anyway, our society has lost this sense of community. Studies show that girls are better able to adapt to the artificial environment that is our modern school system than boys are...so we solve the problem by pumping them full of ritalin. (I'm not saying ADHD is not real...but I believe it is over-diagnosed, which undermines the validity of real ADHD cases - but that's another thread.)

Modern feminism - I'm not talking about equal rights in the workplace, or the right to vote. That stuff's great. But the advancement of woman at the expense of man is not. Then came all the shows that turned fathers into bumbling idiots. Though the Simpsons come to mind, the change really happened in the 70's. Some notable examples:
Arthur - (Maude's husband)
George Jefferson - (dad on Jeffersons)
Fred Sanford - (dad on Sanford and Son)

or dads were just nonexistent:
Partridge Family
Alice
One Day at a Time
Pretty much the only intelligent men on TV in the 70s were the ones on cop shows. 70's cop shows rocked!

Oh, also with the feminist movement came the whole notion of reproductive rights and the availability of the pill, which kind of backfired, because as it became almost as common to find a woman with condoms in her purse as a man with condoms in his wallet, or a woman who was on the pill, men learned that they could enjoy consequence-free sex and the woman would bear the burden of all that responsibility.

While we are on the subject of sex - It seems that as a society, we view sex as something that a man does TO and woman, and not WITH a woman. For a culture that is constantly bombarded with sexual images, we are still rather Victorian in discussing the topic. If we admit that women have libidos too, and actually enjoy sex, we could make a lot of progress. - - hoo boy! I had three more paragraphs on this, but I decided to delete.

Anyway....men are pretty messed up.
And women are pretty messed up.

that. that was my point.

 

[violakat]

If women are raising the children, then why are they complaining their sons aren't turning into men?

Also, men is the only gender that gets told to "fix himself". Hey, your not doing X, Y, Z.. MAN UP!

Right.. because manning up solves every problem. Next time a girl has her tire blown out on the side of the road.. instead of helping her, i'll tell her to Woman Up!

PROBLEM SOLVED!

Shawn, I think you do have some good points, and I want to expand on your comment.

If a women, living in a two parent household, raises her child by herself, then there are three possible scenarios. Scenario A: She refuses to allow her husband any say in how the children are raised. Scenario B: The husband refuses to help raise their children. Scenario C: Neither the man or the woman wants the husband to raise the child. In both scenario A & C, as you have stated, she shouldn’t complain in how her child is turning out. In scenario B however, things take a different turn. He is the one mainly responsible in how the child turns out, because of his lack of taking responsibility.

Right or wrong, my initial reaction was to say why doesn’t someone tell him to man up. I believe that men are called to be the leaders of the home, and should be that. The problem though with the term ‘Man Up’ maybe the man doesn’t know how to be the leader, as no one has ever bothered to show him. Which in that case, some of you men should become role models for other men, and helping them to learn how to become Godly leaders. The women, for those who are married, should allow their husbands to become the head of their homes.

Shawn, what do you think it means to ‘Woman UP’?

And you are wrong about men being the only gender being told to fix themselves. There have been tons of threads on this site alone that tries to tell women how horrible they are and what they need to do to become a “True Woman”. This thread is not meant to tell men to fix themselves, but instead to explore this thought process of men being viewed as nothing more than children, and why.