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Roger that. 
Though sometimes it is funny to see people arguing back and forth. Sometimes they may be arguing about two sides of the same coin. And no matter how well-versed with the Scriptures we may be, we have to understand and accept the reality that no two people can have the same experiences. It reminds me of the story of 'Blind men and an Elephant', and I will quote a few lines from John Godfrey Saxe here (this was googled, btw).
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!
His poem will make sense if you realise that no two people can experience and understand God the same way. This is where most people go wrong because they feel that the Christian way of living is a standard protocol to be followed. But they are wrong. There is a framework which is given in the Bible, but how we progress along our journey is completely dependent on God's plan for us and on our relationship with Him!
Though sometimes it is funny to see people arguing back and forth. Sometimes they may be arguing about two sides of the same coin. And no matter how well-versed with the Scriptures we may be, we have to understand and accept the reality that no two people can have the same experiences. It reminds me of the story of 'Blind men and an Elephant', and I will quote a few lines from John Godfrey Saxe here (this was googled, btw).
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!
His poem will make sense if you realise that no two people can experience and understand God the same way. This is where most people go wrong because they feel that the Christian way of living is a standard protocol to be followed. But they are wrong. There is a framework which is given in the Bible, but how we progress along our journey is completely dependent on God's plan for us and on our relationship with Him!
When I joined here I got ignored too.. both here and in chat. I also felt left out and that I might never make any friends here. It took at least 3 or 4 months before I started making any friends here at all and it was a very slow, long process over years to get to the point where I became considered a 'regular' here, and it was not easy...
I gave up on this place many times and announced my leaving more than once. Sometimes it was because I felt ignored, sometimes I felt like no one cared about me here anymore (even after I became a 'regular'), and sometimes it was because I felt that I was being attacked by someone here.
New members see all the comeraderie going on and think it should be so easy to be accepted as 'one of the gang' within a month or so but in my experience that is just not how it works... the only exception is if you are an attractive female with a photo of yourself as your avatar.. then everyone instantly wants to be your friend! I guess that's true with attractive males too, IDK. But its not that way for most people. It takes time..
I gave up on this place many times and announced my leaving more than once. Sometimes it was because I felt ignored, sometimes I felt like no one cared about me here anymore (even after I became a 'regular'), and sometimes it was because I felt that I was being attacked by someone here.
New members see all the comeraderie going on and think it should be so easy to be accepted as 'one of the gang' within a month or so but in my experience that is just not how it works... the only exception is if you are an attractive female with a photo of yourself as your avatar.. then everyone instantly wants to be your friend!
I guess that's true with attractive males too, IDK. But its not that way for most people. It takes time..
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Part of it may well be culture as well. Westerners as a whole are pretty direct and blunt people. We have no concept of saving face and little concept of the need to give or protect the honor of others. Add to that the fact that we seem to be a pretty sarcastic bunch and I'm sure that we can come across as mean at times. But for the most part we're not.
I've only been around for 4-1/2 months or so, but some of the things that have helped me feel connected are hanging out with everyone in the chat room (late night US time, which is probably about 9 AM India time); finding just a couple people that I really click with; and just keeping a big hearted approach to people so that one bad interaction doesn't mean that person is a complete jerk and hates me. You never know when you've just hit someone's button and there is a whole world of hurt behind their outburst.
One other thing is that those of us who frequent chat can tell you there are a lot of non-western guys around here that go through and pm every female in the room. If you start a conversation with one of those guys, they will be asking (or at least hinting) about getting into a relationship within 5 minutes. So if it seems like people are reluctant to engage you in chat PM's that could be part of it as well.
I hope you soon feel like part of the community.
I've only been around for 4-1/2 months or so, but some of the things that have helped me feel connected are hanging out with everyone in the chat room (late night US time, which is probably about 9 AM India time); finding just a couple people that I really click with; and just keeping a big hearted approach to people so that one bad interaction doesn't mean that person is a complete jerk and hates me. You never know when you've just hit someone's button and there is a whole world of hurt behind their outburst.
One other thing is that those of us who frequent chat can tell you there are a lot of non-western guys around here that go through and pm every female in the room. If you start a conversation with one of those guys, they will be asking (or at least hinting) about getting into a relationship within 5 minutes. So if it seems like people are reluctant to engage you in chat PM's that could be part of it as well.
I hope you soon feel like part of the community.
When I joined here I got ignored too.. both here and in chat. I also felt left out and that I might never make any friends here. It took at least 3 or 4 months before I started making any friends here at all and it was a very slow, long process over years to get to the point where I became considered a 'regular' here, and it was not easy...
I gave up on this place many times and announced my leaving more than once. Sometimes it was because I felt ignored, sometimes I felt like no one cared about me here anymore (even after I became a 'regular'), and sometimes it was because I felt that I was being attacked by someone here.
New members see all the comeraderie going on and think it should be so easy to be accepted as 'one of the gang' within a month or so but in my experience that is just not how it works... the only exception is if you are an attractive female with a photo of yourself as your avatar.. then everyone instantly wants to be your friend! I guess that's true with attractive males too, IDK. But its not that way for most people. It takes time..
I gave up on this place many times and announced my leaving more than once. Sometimes it was because I felt ignored, sometimes I felt like no one cared about me here anymore (even after I became a 'regular'), and sometimes it was because I felt that I was being attacked by someone here.
New members see all the comeraderie going on and think it should be so easy to be accepted as 'one of the gang' within a month or so but in my experience that is just not how it works... the only exception is if you are an attractive female with a photo of yourself as your avatar.. then everyone instantly wants to be your friend!
I guess that's true with attractive males too, IDK. But its not that way for most people. It takes time..
When I entered in and I saw all the people talking, I thought this would be a very friendly forum since everyone were 'yolked equally'. Turns out that this was THE toughest of all the forums I have visited. After ranting I realised that there are a few cordial people here, but the majority are just cold.
I dropped in to the chat room on a couple of occasions but I did not participate as my headphones were not working. Now I have a brand new one and I shall participate there.
Yes, looking at the responses I got it seems that the coldness was unintentional. Or maybe the general hesitation to engage with somebody who was non-western for fear of being bombarded with PM's.
Yes, looking at the responses I got it seems that the coldness was unintentional. Or maybe the general hesitation to engage with somebody who was non-western for fear of being bombarded with PM's.
Wow! When I entered in and I saw all the people talking, I thought this would be a very friendly forum since everyone were 'yolked equally'. Turns out that this was THE toughest of all the forums I have visited.
After ranting I realised that there are a few cordial people here, but the majority are just cold.
When I entered in and I saw all the people talking, I thought this would be a very friendly forum since everyone were 'yolked equally'. Turns out that this was THE toughest of all the forums I have visited. After ranting I realised that there are a few cordial people here, but the majority are just cold.
What I would do is just try and chat with the ones who are always on the mic, especially the males (some females might not reply to you if they don't know you). After some time you'll eventually become a familiar voice in there. Or you could just start talking a lot on mic in there, but I could never do that lol.
T
Wow! When I entered in and I saw all the people talking, I thought this would be a very friendly forum since everyone were 'yolked equally'. Turns out that this was THE toughest of all the forums I have visited.
After ranting I realised that there are a few cordial people here, but the majority are just cold.
When I entered in and I saw all the people talking, I thought this would be a very friendly forum since everyone were 'yolked equally'. Turns out that this was THE toughest of all the forums I have visited. After ranting I realised that there are a few cordial people here, but the majority are just cold.
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I dropped in to the chat room on a couple of occasions but I did not participate as my headphones were not working. Now I have a brand new one and I shall participate there.
Yes, looking at the responses I got it seems that the coldness was unintentional. Or maybe the general hesitation to engage with somebody who was non-western for fear of being bombarded with PM's.
Yes, looking at the responses I got it seems that the coldness was unintentional. Or maybe the general hesitation to engage with somebody who was non-western for fear of being bombarded with PM's.
G
Same for me,i even gave up on this site and got into christianet.com,they are very friendly, welcoming and they engage everyone in Bible studies despite their race or language barrier has someone has put it.
I also thought for sometime that people here are racists to some extend.Even in the chat rooms i have been ignored severally.
I have even tried to make requests to join some forums but no one has responded, anyway we are called to be Christ like, let us spread out love just like Christ would do if he was part of this group.
Just expressing my view and i stand to be corrected.
I also thought for sometime that people here are racists to some extend.Even in the chat rooms i have been ignored severally.
I have even tried to make requests to join some forums but no one has responded, anyway we are called to be Christ like, let us spread out love just like Christ would do if he was part of this group.
Just expressing my view and i stand to be corrected.
