Why are you still single? Answers we wish we could give.

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
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You could use a paraphrase of a line I said in another thread: "Single? Good Lord no, I'm not single. I got married to Myself years ago. Me did the ceremony... *drop to a confidential tone of voice* Of course that was before Me went off the deep end. Poor guy thinks he's five different people now. *nervous giggle* Yeah, I and Myself just leave Me alone these days. He's nuts!"
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
The bottom line:

 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,558
17,027
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69
Tennessee
Answers I give: "All the good ones are taken."
"I haven't found her yet"
the reality of the situation: I'm horrible with meeting people, I know nothing of dating, and I suffer from low self confedence.
Although my answers are also true
All of the good ones are not taken. I have the same problem with meeting people. That is why I get to know a woman first by writing letters and then telephone calls. Low self-confidence? Yeah, I know what that is about too. I used to have tremendous self-confidence but then I took a wrong turn in Albuquerque and the wheels came off the bus. I now have a wonderful woman in my life who prays for me and has confidence in me. Her love is working on me and I am getting my groove back. The reality of the situation is that there is a wonderful woman out there with your name on it. Pray to God and He will give you your heart's desire. That is what I did and now I'm walking on air. Life is good again and happiness is just around the corner.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
9,292
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All of the good ones are not taken. I have the same problem with meeting people. That is why I get to know a woman first by writing letters and then telephone calls. Low self-confidence? Yeah, I know what that is about too. I used to have tremendous self-confidence but then I took a wrong turn in Albuquerque and the wheels came off the bus. I now have a wonderful woman in my life who prays for me and has confidence in me. Her love is working on me and I am getting my groove back. The reality of the situation is that there is a wonderful woman out there with your name on it. Pray to God and He will give you your heart's desire. That is what I did and now I'm walking on air. Life is good again and happiness is just around the corner.
"I'm walking on sunshine
Ooooooh
And don't it feel good!"
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
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I am single. However, my cat thinks she's married. To me. Even though I'm single. LOL!! I think the cat's idea of marriage and singleness are a wee bit twisted. :p ​That's a feline for you. Their thinking is never logical!! :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
9,292
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Their thinking is eminently logical. You just don't always see the reasons they do what they do. ;)

Much more logical than a dog. Who else is dumb enough to fall for the fake throw every single time?
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Let me bring you back down to earth. A great many people earnestly trusted in the Lord for the desires of their heart throughout the millennia of human history and never received what they desired. In fact, a good number of them were instead persecuted and martyred.

So what happens when your formula doesn't work for everyone? Do you just blow off the ones it didn't work for and bull forward happy that you got yours leaving a number of disappointed people in your wake?

Oh that's right, you'll tell them to keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting, until they die of old age and join the enormous number of people throughout history that died waiting to receive "the desires of their heart" after trusting God for them and never received the promised spouse, the mountain of gold, the kingdom to rule, or whatever else "their heart desires."

The problem with turning scriptures into old wives tales is that it causes some people to lose their faith in God when the promised result from the old wives tale doesn't pan out.

But the old wives tales are self-replicating because they always pan out for some (a function of probability) which makes sure they are replicated to the next generation by the self-absorbed people that put their faith in the old wives tale because, after all, it worked for them.

Human beings have a great many desires both good and bad which are NOT God-given.

Now Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord;
 And He will give you the desires of your heart.”

It would be easy to look at this verse by itself and conclude that if you’re a true Christian and delight yourself in the Lord, God will give you whatever you want. After all, the verse does say that if we delight in him, he will give us the desires of our heart... right?

Think about the many underpaid (or severely persecuted) Christians who delighted themselves in the Lord and faithfully served Him despite difficult circumstances that grew old never receiving what they earnestly desired in the way of more income to better raise their family. Many a pastor's son or daughter was lost to the world because they didn't want to continue in the poverty of their godly parents. e

Think about all of the wonderful Christian people who died of diseases at young ages who earnestly desired things in life they were never able to receive in this life. Think about the enormous number of Christians who were persecuted and killed throughout the centuries because of their beliefs who earnestly desire from their heart to simply have a normal life.

If you want a specific case example related to the topic, look no farther than the life of Corrie Ten boom. She earnestly desired to be married while continually delighting herself in the Lord and trusting Him for all things. It never happened. She died unmarried.

The list of people who delighted themselves in the Lord and trusted Him explicitly that didn't get everything they wanted includes Jesus Christ, and Paul the apostle... lol.

When Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; 
And He will give you the desires of your heart,” it is not saying God is going to give you a spouse, a castle, and a fairy godmother.

Psalm 37:4 must be understood contextually not as it were meant to stand alone. As a whole, Psalm 37 tells us that if we love God and are faithful to God with our life, He will reward us in due time—not necessarily with earthly rewards, but definitely with heavenly ones. That's what Corrie discovered and so have a great many Christians who never got their hearts desires in this life despite trusting God and delighting themselves in Him.

We're all glad you're happy that you got yours but don't put your faith in old wives tales (even when they are fabricated from misunderstandings of scripture) and make promises to other people that you can't possibly deliver and God may never deliver because it does injure the Christian walk of some who don't get their hearts desires in this life.

Gain wisdom and try to put yourself in their shoes. What if it never happened for you in this life or did but came out terribly wrong. Some experience exactly that. Talk with you later. Peace.


The reality of the situation is that there is a wonderful woman out there with your name on it. Pray to God and He will give you your heart's desire.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
9,292
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The reality of the situation is that there is a wonderful woman out there with your name on it. Pray to God and He will give you your heart's desire.
Yup. As soon as I saw tourist say this, I just knew someone would take the bait. :D I had a bet with myself as to how long it would take. I won. But I also lost cause the bet was with myself. Oh well.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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Philippines Age 40
Waiting upon the Lord is never in vain. When our desires are not yet granted, God has His own reasons or He has better plans for us perhaps. Maybe He wants us to pray some more or wait some more. Worry or bitterness towards God for not granting our desires will not gain anything.

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Tintin

Guest
God's timing is perfect but requires serious patience. I was anything but content with my singleness in my late teens/early 20s but then in my mid 20s onwards God taught me to be content in Him and I was. I enjoyed my family and friends. Recently I got into a relationship with an amazing woman of God. Neither of us were searching for a relationship at the time but God had other plans. I'm looking forward to the rest of the adventure.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
Yup. As soon as I saw tourist say this, I just knew someone would take the bait. :D I had a bet with myself as to how long it would take. I won. But I also lost cause the bet was with myself. Oh well.
I didn't know tourist was fishing. Looks like he fell for it hook, line and sinker. :D
 
I

Inu

Guest
Yup. As soon as I saw tourist say this, I just knew someone would take the bait. :D I had a bet with myself as to how long it would take. I won. But I also lost cause the bet was with myself. Oh well.
Looks like we are all having our turn with the common denominator.... :D
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Throughout human history, including since the arrival and departure of Jesus Christ our Lord, some have lived and died single and unmarried. For them, God's timing is never.

AND, a great many Christians were just like you once and are now divorced. In some cases, their spouses cheated on them. They never saw it coming.

But I guess that wasn't "God's timing" for them; however, it simply must be "God's timing" for you because you presently feel good emotionally about it (exactly like they used to)... lol.

When you project your own emotional state and present situation (as you understand it which could be wildly wrong... she could be dating someone else right now and keeping it to herself and it would be wholly legitimate as you two are not married), upon all of humanity as a universal principle and it's in reality NOT, then that's ridiculous.

It could all blow up in your face before it's over which happens every day to genuine Christians all over the world. Or not. But that's the point.



God's timing is perfect but requires serious patience. I was anything but content with my singleness in my late teens/early 20s but then in my mid 20s onwards God taught me to be content in Him and I was. I enjoyed my family and friends. Recently I got into a relationship with an amazing woman of God. Neither of us were searching for a relationship at the time but God had other plans. I'm looking forward to the rest of the adventure.
 
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Tintin

Guest
Throughout human history, including since the arrival and departure of Jesus Christ our Lord, some have lived and died single and unmarried. For them, God's timing is never.

AND, a great many Christians were just like you once and are now divorced. In some cases, their spouses cheated on them. They never saw it coming.

But I guess that wasn't "God's timing" for them; however, it simply must be "God's timing" for you because you presently feel good emotionally about it (exactly like they used to)... lol.

When you project your own emotional state and present situation (as you understand it which could be wildly wrong... she could be dating someone else right now and keeping it to herself and it would be wholly legitimate as you two are not married), upon all of humanity as a universal principle and it's in reality NOT, then that's ridiculous.

It could all blow up in your face before it's over which happens every day to genuine Christians all over the world. Or not. But that's the point.
Wow, you're just a bundle of rainbows, aren't you? Some of what you say is true, but why must you always try to bring people down? Are you one of those people who loves to create drama so you always have something to argue?
 
I

Inu

Guest
God's timing is perfect but requires serious patience. I was anything but content with my singleness in my late teens/early 20s but then in my mid 20s onwards God taught me to be content in Him and I was. I enjoyed my family and friends. Recently I got into a relationship with an amazing woman of God. Neither of us were searching for a relationship at the time but God had other plans. I'm looking forward to the rest of the adventure.
Tintin, I think it is wonderful that you and Arlene have found each other. I think that you both are on the right path. Just keep things God centred and know that a relationship requires hard work and a positive attitude which some people clearly lack:)

My pastor who is married for 40+ years always tells us that even the most Godly woman and man will have issues in their relationship because we are part flesh but it is how we handle our hardships... They at times felt like walking out but they held on, they trusted God and they pushed forward.... sometimes we need to speak life over our relationships(some people don't understand this because they are ignorant) in order for it to grow and develop. :)
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
Tintin, I think it is wonderful that you and Arlene have found each other. I think that you both are on the right path. Just keep things God centred and know that a relationship requires hard work and a positive attitude which some people clearly lack:)

My pastor who is married for 40+ years always tells us that even the most Godly woman and man will have issues in their relationship because we are part flesh but it is how we handle our hardships... They at times felt like walking out but they held on, they trusted God and they pushed forward.... sometimes we need to speak life over our relationships(some people don't understand this because they are ignorant) in order for it to grow and develop. :)
Yes, all that she said. Ditto.

And when are you sending us the cookies and the chocolates you promised? My stocks are running out, so I am keen on an early shipment. :p
 

OnThisRock

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
A few things......God can bring together people for a season. And, the U.S. is an awful place to be single and carries many demonic projections that people try to live up to. I was dating a man I thought was perfect for me and really believed in this weird, "I prayed for him and wrote it all down and the right man appeared thing". Well God showed me that was nonsense. I took a trip to the otherside of the world and realized I was not in God's perfect will for my life. That freaked me out. We dumped each other and in a whirlwind I returned to that country and am now living out my calling. Watch out for this American false gospel suggesting we should be married at all and that if it is not in God's timing we should be preparing for our mate. It's total garbage like alot of U.S. drama trauma and church going. Being single in the U.S. is completely awful. I am now single in another country, totally feeling fine and FREE. I even have tons of language barriers and I now feel at peace and fulfilled. My social life and living has completely improved.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
9,292
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AgeofKnowledge: Do you do this in real life, correct people with a long monologue when they say something you believe is wrong? If so, I bet you don't get invited to many parties... And if you really don't believe God brings some people together, you haven't read the whole Bible. Remember Isaac and Rebekah?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
9,292
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To the topic at hand: "Oh I tried to find a date, but none of them could pass the challenges. My family is really traditional you know. Everyone I've tried to date has never made it past the scorpion challenge. Which is a bit disappointing... do you know how hard it is to get 2,000 scorpions in Tennessee?"