The 5 Marriage Questions

[Oncefallen]

I'm 50 NOT 40 hit the wrong key before I hit SAVED...told Administrator to change BUT he/she still hasn't changed
SO, yes, I have been married 27 years and YES, the MATH is correct!!! =P

It's fixed now.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

So far you're the only person I see not suggesting in double speak:

1. cater to me
2. please me
3. meet my expectations
4. don't trigger any red flags I am looking for first before I decide to accept you as you are.
5. don't upset me past my own preconceived expectations or we're done

Kudo's to you Kaycie for being such a brave women giving of yourself first before looking to please yourself.

Most of the questions mentioned are appropriate for those deciding whether they are compatible for marriage and will be able to meet one another's needs. Are you suggesting that they never be asked? Let's be realistic.

 

[MissCris]

So far you're the only person I see not suggesting in double speak:

1. cater to me
2. please me
3. meet my expectations
4. don't trigger any red flags I am looking for first before I decide to accept you as you are.
5. don't upset me past my own preconceived expectations or we're done

Kudo's to you Kaycie for being such a brave women giving of yourself first before looking to please yourself.

I think this is a really unfair assessment of what everyone's been saying. While Kaycie's post was good, that doesn't mean everyone else was being selfish and self-seeking in what they would want to know about a future spouse before making the biggest commitment they'll ever make.

I also think it makes perfect sense to find out what you would be getting out of a marriage. I think each of us already know what we would be able to offer our spouse, and this thread isn't about what they should know about us before tying the knot anyway, so to put the rest of us down for actually answering in the way that the OP was looking for is kinda...you know, not nice.

That would be an interesting thread, though- What questions you should ask yourself before committing to marriage (am I willing/able to serve this person selflessly til death do us part?) or What questions your future spouse should ask you before marriage. Just saying, those are some ideas, if this thread is too one-sided for some people.

 

[Lynx]

So far you're the only person I see not suggesting in double speak:

1. cater to me
2. please me
3. meet my expectations
4. don't trigger any red flags I am looking for first before I decide to accept you as you are.
5. don't upset me past my own preconceived expectations or we're done

Kudo's to you Kaycie for being such a brave women giving of yourself first before looking to please yourself.

You sure do disparage people a lot. But in this post you surpassed yourself. You disparaged a lot of people in one shot.

 

[tourist]

1. Can you take a joke?

2. Can you live with a goof? Maybe not.

3. Did I hurt your feeling? I didn't mean to.

4. Will you marry me? February 29 asking date.

5. Will you accept an apology?

Life is too short to not laugh at ourselves, better than to laugh at others. In order to get married though one must trust the other person and being friends first is a major plus. Background checks and pre-nups seem to be lacking in the trust department I mean really do we love the money/property more than the person? I don't have enough of any of it to make a difference. But if and because I love someone with all my heart I would trust them with my life and I would imagine that they would answer any question this Blond could come up with silly or not.

On question 1 the answer is yes.
On question 2 the answer is no as you are not a goof.
On question 3 the answer is never and if you did I am sure you would not mean to do so.
On question 4 - first part the answer is yes - second part the answer is no as I am pondering Thanksgiving.
On question 5 the answer is yes and I hope that you would accept mine as mean well.

 

[MidniteWelder]

Most of the questions mentioned are appropriate for those deciding whether they are compatible for marriage and will be able to meet one another's needs. Are you suggesting that they never be asked? Let's be realistic.

That's correct.
Not if they're being asked with the mindset that another person is expected to meet our needs.
Realistically...Wants and needs are two different things.

 

[MidniteWelder]

I also think it makes perfect sense to find out what you would be getting out of a marriage.

There ya go.
If a person goes into marriage predominantly wondering what they'll be "getting out of it"
they'll have entered marriage with the wrong mindset.

(am I willing/able to serve this person selflessly til death do us part?)

Good idea
That's more what marriage about.

 

[MidniteWelder]

You sure do disparage people a lot. But in this post you surpassed yourself. You disparaged a lot of people in one shot.

Sharp with wit was a Lynx

whose claws were even sharper methinks
when riled from truths
of a wolf rather uncouth
put his tail in a kink

 

[Lynx]

Wrong species. There are more than ten subspecies of lynx in America - though most americans call them "bobcats" - and I'm more like an eurasian lynx. Longer tail than your bobcat, and sleeker fur than an iberian lynx.

I have say though, I find your prediliction for feline posteriors a bit disturbing...

 

[Roh_Chris]

Good idea
That's more what marriage about.

I think marriage is 50% giving and 50% receiving. If you want to give any more than that you might as well work in a charity. If you want to receive any more than that you should consider owning a pet dog. There is a limit to how selfless one should be in a relationship.

 

[JesusLives]

I think marriage is 50% giving and 50% receiving. If you want to give any more than that you might as well work in a charity. If you want to receive any more than that you should consider owning a pet dog. There is a limit to how selfless one should be in a relationship.

Let me tell ya what I have learned in order for a successful marriage first thing is God has the number one spot in both lives and then it is 100% and 100% commitment. 50/50 is just not good enough for success one has to go All In.... This advise comes from a Blond who has tried once and failed and knows that 50/50 didn't work.... But at least it is better to have tried and lost than never to have tried at all... There is someone out there willing to give you 100% I bet ya.....Happy girl bear hunting.....walk softly and carry a big stick......lol

 

[Roh_Chris]

Thank you JL. I meant 50-50 out of 100% effort. But I get your point. Thank you.

 

[MissCris]

There ya go.
If a person goes into marriage predominantly wondering what they'll be "getting out of it"
they'll have entered marriage with the wrong mindset.

I like how you cut out the part of what I said about how we each already know what we personally would bring to the marriage. That part was kind of important.

Why don't you start a thread on what marriage is about? Apparently we don't know, so it could be a great learning experience for the rest of us.

 

[Lynx]

If he had left that part in, MissChris, it would have ruined a perfectly good diatribe.

 

[tourist]

I think marriage is 50% giving and 50% receiving. If you want to give any more than that you might as well work in a charity. If you want to receive any more than that you should consider owning a pet dog. There is a limit to how selfless one should be in a relationship.

In my second marriage it was probably 90-10 but it is all relevant. Her 10 was probably at least equal to my 90 as hers would have required more effort. It is rarely 50 -50 in any marriage but it does require a 100% effort from both parties.