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Ok I think normalcy has been restored in my brain. I've had my emotional human moment for the decade and can continue to go about life with supreme analytical efficiency like the robots I long to emulate.
That's my way of saying thanks everyone who left encouraging words and is praying for me. I'm doing better now.
That's my way of saying thanks everyone who left encouraging words and is praying for me. I'm doing better now.
M
It occurred to me, this weekend, during some below 0 temperatures, that we could've maybe started winterizing the house last week...during the single digit temps...or, you know, before that. Because winter...it happens about the same time every year (well, mostly). I'm just saying, we probably should have expected this and prepared for it beforehand. Instead, the weekend was spent trying to find a way to keep the kids' room warmer. Normally, plastic would go over the windows in there like is done throughout the rest of the house. But...kids...yeah. They tear the plastic down, and I have these horrifying visions of one of them getting their head tangled in it or something in the middle of the night...*shudders* So, no plastic.
I hunted down about six smallish blankets (three for each window), some nails, and my hammer...plus some cardboard...and masking tape. TA-DA! Insulation. I might've overdone it. But, I mean...it's warm. So who cares? Aside from the fact that nobody can open those curtains til spring, I mean.
Anyway, today I attack the rest of the house...muahaha...
I hunted down about six smallish blankets (three for each window), some nails, and my hammer...plus some cardboard...and masking tape. TA-DA! Insulation. I might've overdone it. But, I mean...it's warm. So who cares? Aside from the fact that nobody can open those curtains til spring, I mean.
Anyway, today I attack the rest of the house...muahaha...
My first thought was, "She pulled her heart muscle? 
" lol.
Yeah, there are no perfect churches and no perfect people, and even if a perfect church did exist, all it would take is for any one of us to walk into it and that would be ruined. The best kind of churches are the kind where people can openly acknowledge how weird and sinful they are
" lol.
I feel that I need to start 'gathering' with church people soon
But I don't really feel like they are going to want me, once they figured out how weird and sinful I am.
But then again, they gotta man up too on that one.
Its their fault they wont be able to stand me. hahaha.
But I don't really feel like they are going to want me, once they figured out how weird and sinful I am.
But then again, they gotta man up too on that one.
Its their fault they wont be able to stand me. hahaha.
A pastor once told his congregation: If you knew everything about me that God knows about me, you wouldn't be here listening to me today. But if I knew everything about all of you that God knows about you, I wouldn't have let you in!
M
Here I sit, procrastinating like there's no to...morrow....
Nevermind.
I've got to get to the laundry...must...dry...clothes. And it's not that I don't want to do it, but see, the dryer is outside. Well, no, it's in the garage, but it's a drafty, cold garage and I have to walk 50 or so feet to reach it...and there's this snow on the ground, and I'm wearing flip flops. So many issues, no solutions...
Is that all as completely ridiculous as I think it probably is?
Yes?
Oh, good, we're on the same page then.
...righto (really Cristen?), off to do the sensible thing and find someone else to get the laundry to the dryer...wait no, I mean, find some boots. Yeah. Boots.
Note: I'm not actually as opposed to housework as I would lead y'all to believe. Ok, well, some days I'm not. Like today...I don't really mind going down into the freezing cold basement, to haul up a basket of heavy, wet clothes, to carry them out into the freezing cold OUT THERE, to tramp through the snow...nope, don't mind.
...actually I don't.
...Who am I trying to convince here, anyway?!
I need help. Like, an intervention, to get me to stop typing and go do stuff...
OKAY, I'm going.
It won't be any fun at all, but I'll do it...because I like having clean clothes.
I should hire a maid.
Oh! Right. Going.
Goodbye, cruel world...!
Nevermind.
I've got to get to the laundry...must...dry...clothes. And it's not that I don't want to do it, but see, the dryer is outside. Well, no, it's in the garage, but it's a drafty, cold garage and I have to walk 50 or so feet to reach it...and there's this snow on the ground, and I'm wearing flip flops. So many issues, no solutions...
Is that all as completely ridiculous as I think it probably is?
Yes?
Oh, good, we're on the same page then.
...righto (really Cristen?), off to do the sensible thing and find someone else to get the laundry to the dryer...wait no, I mean, find some boots. Yeah. Boots.
Note: I'm not actually as opposed to housework as I would lead y'all to believe. Ok, well, some days I'm not. Like today...I don't really mind going down into the freezing cold basement, to haul up a basket of heavy, wet clothes, to carry them out into the freezing cold OUT THERE, to tramp through the snow...nope, don't mind.
...actually I don't.
...Who am I trying to convince here, anyway?!
I need help. Like, an intervention, to get me to stop typing and go do stuff...
OKAY, I'm going.
It won't be any fun at all, but I'll do it...because I like having clean clothes.
I should hire a maid.
Oh! Right. Going.
Goodbye, cruel world...!
Now THAT was funny. Procrastinating like there's no tomorrow. Gotta remember that one.
Ever made a sausage burger? Make a sausage patty big enough to fit a slice of bread, fry it up and put it between bread with whatever you usually put on a hamburger. I like tomato, mayo and mustard on mine.
To make it more interesting... when I'm making sourdough bread and have dough left over that is not quite enough for another full loaf, I make sourdough hamburger buns out of it. That and a good half pound of sausage makes a really good burger. And it also makes a very full Lynx.
More correctly a sausage patty is sausage that has never been placed in a casing.
To make it more interesting... when I'm making sourdough bread and have dough left over that is not quite enough for another full loaf, I make sourdough hamburger buns out of it. That and a good half pound of sausage makes a really good burger. And it also makes a very full Lynx.
B
I honestly feel like calling it quits. I get on a spiritual high, and yay God is great, life is good. Generally, a day or so later feelings have passed and I'm back to normal "me" living, giving only the occasional thought about God. This a never ending cycle. Sometimes I try and do better but it's just that, me trying.
I've surrendered to God (or so I have thought) and it seems like nothing changes, I'm the same person, how will I ever know if I'm saved? I mean, I think I've been saved twice before, but are either one of them true? I'm not really part of either church I attend, I don't really talk to people, I'm not involved. To me, for the most part, talking to people at church is unnecessary...I'm not going to share my struggles with you, not going to share my heart. I'm reserved and I feel like to be a Christian I can't be myself...can't be alone, can't get the "help" I need.
.
I feel like i'm trying to be somebody who I don't want to be. I'm to the point of not caring anymore, just tap out and call it quits.
I've surrendered to God (or so I have thought) and it seems like nothing changes, I'm the same person, how will I ever know if I'm saved? I mean, I think I've been saved twice before, but are either one of them true? I'm not really part of either church I attend, I don't really talk to people, I'm not involved. To me, for the most part, talking to people at church is unnecessary...I'm not going to share my struggles with you, not going to share my heart. I'm reserved and I feel like to be a Christian I can't be myself...can't be alone, can't get the "help" I need.
.
I feel like i'm trying to be somebody who I don't want to be. I'm to the point of not caring anymore, just tap out and call it quits.