How Much Money Does a Woman Have to Make to Be a Good "Help Mate"?
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I believe it's up to the man to make the money. However if the wife has the time and the oppertunity after the other things she has to do, then that's great that she could help in that way- but it shouldn't be depended upon. At the same time I don't think she should sit and do nothing all day. But if she is busy everyday don't overburden her. It takes time to cook, clean, run errands, look after children, etc. But I witnessed a stay at home mom, who was really good at drawing, And she wouldn't draw with her kids. She spent all her time playing this game on the computer, and having her kids wait on her hand and foot. She yelled at them to clean the house, while she ate a bucket of chicken then threw the bucket on the floor. What a disgrace. As for me, I have my priorities, and extra money is not first on my list. Raising children in the way they should go is. You either care about people or money. If a guy loves money I know he won't love me. That's a definite red flag if the first thing he wants to know is how much money you make. He's looking for money- not a relationship. He's looking at what you can do for him- not how he can love you.
Hey Singles,
Just a few things I was thinking about today. Some time ago, we used to have a group of gentlemen who would always complain on a regular basis that women were only out for money. I'm certainly not arguing that it doesn't happen (and for that, we women who AREN'T out for money are sorry for your bad experiences.)
It's tempting to start a thread and just ask the women about their "needs" or/and "demands" when it comes to men and money. I wasn't a part of the group of guys you're describing, but I'm tempted to toss myself into it.
But does anyone talk about the flip side of the coin? Guys, how much money does a woman have to make, or does she have to have a prestigious job in order for you to consider her worthy of your attention? Does money not matter to you at all? Would you be perfectly happy marrying a woman who didn't intend to work? Do you date women without jobs?
I would prefer that my wife be a homemaker and be the primary child-raiser in the household. The radical feminists can hate me all they want, but I believe women are generally more naturally inclined and designed to be the primary when it comes to raising children.
Not suggesting I don't intend to help or that she's all on her own. She's just going to be the "better-half" in this area of our marriage/family.
Our income - whether that means one or both are working - needs to be sufficient to pay bills.
Just a few things I was thinking about today. Some time ago, we used to have a group of gentlemen who would always complain on a regular basis that women were only out for money. I'm certainly not arguing that it doesn't happen (and for that, we women who AREN'T out for money are sorry for your bad experiences.)
It's tempting to start a thread and just ask the women about their "needs" or/and "demands" when it comes to men and money. I wasn't a part of the group of guys you're describing, but I'm tempted to toss myself into it.
But does anyone talk about the flip side of the coin? Guys, how much money does a woman have to make, or does she have to have a prestigious job in order for you to consider her worthy of your attention? Does money not matter to you at all? Would you be perfectly happy marrying a woman who didn't intend to work? Do you date women without jobs?
I would prefer that my wife be a homemaker and be the primary child-raiser in the household. The radical feminists can hate me all they want, but I believe women are generally more naturally inclined and designed to be the primary when it comes to raising children.
Not suggesting I don't intend to help or that she's all on her own. She's just going to be the "better-half" in this area of our marriage/family.
Our income - whether that means one or both are working - needs to be sufficient to pay bills.
She must make enough money to take care of herself and to save some money for herself. If she can do that without lowering her lifestyle standards, then I would consider her as a good "help-mate".
After we start a family, I would like her to continue her professional career. She will have to take a sabbatical when we have kids, but otherwise I would not insist that she be a homemaker. I believe that a marriage is a unity of two individuals. This means that a woman also has ambitions and passions. As long as it does not affect our relationship, it is our duty to encourage and support each other mutually to pursue our personal dreams.
Clarification - I'm not saying that money is the only factor I consider while looking for a help-mate. I am also not implying that women who are home-makers do not have a career, as I consider home-making to be a full-time job.
After we start a family, I would like her to continue her professional career. She will have to take a sabbatical when we have kids, but otherwise I would not insist that she be a homemaker. I believe that a marriage is a unity of two individuals. This means that a woman also has ambitions and passions. As long as it does not affect our relationship, it is our duty to encourage and support each other mutually to pursue our personal dreams.
Clarification - I'm not saying that money is the only factor I consider while looking for a help-mate. I am also not implying that women who are home-makers do not have a career, as I consider home-making to be a full-time job.
There was a saying a man works from sun to sun but a woman's work is never done......Yeah I get to work full time make money help pay the bills, come home from working make sure dinner is cooked and then clean the house try to fit sleep in somewhere. Did someone say lets have kids?
The reality was I was a single mother and did it all or at least tried to for all of my daughters life. She survived and is a well adjusted 34 year old, but I failed her and she is not quite sure about her beliefs in God.... there is a big regret for me as I pray for her to find Him.
I did earn good wages for someone not having a college degree and saved a nickel or two, but as far as women earning enough it is o.k. to get out there and work, but guys please be prepared to help around the house as there are still dirty dishes, laundry and kids to care for if you have them and the responsibility to work and come home and continue to work is just not for women anymore. If a guy expects to work and come home and rest then the woman should have the same expectation so hire a nanny and a housekeeper if that is the case....
If guys want equal pay for a woman then she should expect equal rest at the end of a paid working day.... Is my dinner on the table yet?....lol
The reality was I was a single mother and did it all or at least tried to for all of my daughters life. She survived and is a well adjusted 34 year old, but I failed her and she is not quite sure about her beliefs in God.... there is a big regret for me as I pray for her to find Him.
I did earn good wages for someone not having a college degree and saved a nickel or two, but as far as women earning enough it is o.k. to get out there and work, but guys please be prepared to help around the house as there are still dirty dishes, laundry and kids to care for if you have them and the responsibility to work and come home and continue to work is just not for women anymore. If a guy expects to work and come home and rest then the woman should have the same expectation so hire a nanny and a housekeeper if that is the case....
If guys want equal pay for a woman then she should expect equal rest at the end of a paid working day.... Is my dinner on the table yet?....lol
I agree with your view, JesusLives. If a man wants a woman to earn well and have a successful career, he must also be prepared to equally participate in house-work and child-care. Or he must be prepared to pay for a nanny to take care of the kids and to pay for a housekeeper to do the house-work. It is unfair to expect a woman to have a successful career and run a successful home.
This is one area in which the discussions on CC have affected my "real life". I always did this even before I came to CC, but now I'm rather adamant about paying my own way on a first date unless the guy is very insistent about it. And no, it's not because I'm some kind of raging feminist. (I was raised in a stay-at-home-mom household.)
Women always tell me, "Let him pay if he wants to," but I've read so many posts here complaining about women using them for me that I absolutely refuse to be seen as one of those women. I don't EVER want a man to lump me into the group of women who "used them for a free dinner."
Sure, it's kind of taken the chivalry out of dating (maybe that's why I'm still single.) But I try to tell myself that at least I've done my part to hopefully not embitter yet another already embittered man any further...
Women always tell me, "Let him pay if he wants to," but I've read so many posts here complaining about women using them for me that I absolutely refuse to be seen as one of those women. I don't EVER want a man to lump me into the group of women who "used them for a free dinner."
Sure, it's kind of taken the chivalry out of dating (maybe that's why I'm still single.) But I try to tell myself that at least I've done my part to hopefully not embitter yet another already embittered man any further...
Argh, I meant to type, "I've read so many posts from men complaining that men were using them from money."
It doesn't matter if I'm typing in the morning or at night... My mind is always 4 steps ahead of my fingers and it tends to read what I'm thinking in my head, not what I've actually typed on the page!
It doesn't matter if I'm typing in the morning or at night... My mind is always 4 steps ahead of my fingers and it tends to read what I'm thinking in my head, not what I've actually typed on the page!
