How Much Money Does a Woman Have to Make to Be a Good "Help Mate"?
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I volunteer to pay on the first date. Soon after that, we are either splitting bills or taking turns.
On another site I was reading responses to a similar question and some women were expecting the men to always pay. From what I recall, it was women in the south.
I'd be ditching women with such expectations.
Furthermore, if that's the way it actually is in the south, I'll kindly stay in the north.
On another site I was reading responses to a similar question and some women were expecting the men to always pay. From what I recall, it was women in the south.
I'd be ditching women with such expectations.
Furthermore, if that's the way it actually is in the south, I'll kindly stay in the north.
I once had a man ask me out on a first date, and then hint around about how broke he was, to the point that I offered to pay my own way, which he readily agreed to. After I got off the phone with him, I realized how tacky that actually was. If you can't afford to buy dinner for two, you probably shouldn't be asking women out. The person who does the inviting should at least offer to pay, whether they are male or female.
If you're in a steady sort of relationship where you go out together a lot, taking turns makes good sense. The few times I've dated in recent years, if the man paid for dinner I would usually ask if I could treat him to coffee or dessert afterward.
If you're in a steady sort of relationship where you go out together a lot, taking turns makes good sense. The few times I've dated in recent years, if the man paid for dinner I would usually ask if I could treat him to coffee or dessert afterward.
S
From an anthropological wievpoint this is an interesting statement from the north. I may be stereotyping now, but my impression is that people up north, and their ways of dating, are mighty different from the southern way. Now, a southern lady often would like you to pay on the first date, however, if she was not interested at all, she would pay her own bills even on the first date. If she was interested, she would let you pay the bill, and if you did without talking about splitting bills etc, she might would think that you really liked her, too. If you, on the next date, again was picking up the bill, she would think you were indeed really interested and maybe the dating part would develop into something more. Thing is, this isn't about money at all, it is about showing her that you care for her, to us girls that is important. A guy bringing up the $$ question may can make her think that he is taking more interest in his money than in her. But, this may not be the case up north if taking turns is the normal way of dating.
Somebody actually did that with you?
That's just... (can't find a word)... I think whoever asks a person out should be capable of paying for two, irrespective of the gender. If the other person insists on paying for it, then they can arrive at a compromise. Once I had a girl asked me out on a date. When we had to pay for the food, I insisted on paying the bill myself. But that's only my personal view - not all men would want to pay the bill if they were asked out.
I've never made loads of money but I managed. Before we had children I think I probably contributed 1,000 a month, after well half that, now half that. I work part time. If I worked full time when my kids were toddlers and put them in daycare I'd be handing everything I made to daycare. My schedule is more flexible now because they're in school. I honestly work as much as I can, if I'm asked to sub another class I do, if someone needs a night off at my other job I take their shift, I do.
My Husband works full time and obviously makes more then I do. He wanted me home with my kid's, I wanted that to. I know there are some who don't think that's good enough but I don't care, I wouldn't have missed out on their childhood for anything.
My Husband works full time and obviously makes more then I do. He wanted me home with my kid's, I wanted that to. I know there are some who don't think that's good enough but I don't care, I wouldn't have missed out on their childhood for anything.
This might be a silly question but is it really all that wonderful to have both husband and wife work out of the house,hire a nanny,pay the extra taxes due to the tax brackets,pay for the extra gas and wear and tear on the second car,only to have the wives income end up being 50 cents an hour NET pay for all the extra work OUTSIDE the home? Something to think about.
Now, a southern lady often would like you to pay on the first date No problem.
however, if she was not interested at all, she would pay her own bills even on the first date. Why on earth is she going on a date if she is not interested? That makes no sense. That, to me, is playing games & being unauthentic.
If she was interested, she would let you pay the bill, and if you did without talking about splitting bills etc, she might would think that you really liked her, too. I would likely simply offer to pay the bill on the first date, regardless of whether, at the end of the date, I feel she is dating material. Unless she turns out to be a total jerk, she gets a meal on me. I'm not going to suggest splitting the bill or ask her if she wants to help pay. If I'm interested, I'll simply express that interest and ask if we can continue to communicate and perhaps meet up again in the future.
If you, on the next date, again was picking up the bill, she would think you were indeed really interested and maybe the dating part would develop into something more. If I find her interesting and wish to continue exploring, I can see myself simply paying the bill and going from there. There will, though, likely be a point at which I begin to feel used and abused. If she never offers or helps with bill, that feeling will eventually result in me ditching her.
Thing is, this isn't about money at all, it is about showing her that you care for her, to us girls that is important. Seems pretty easy for her to say it "isn't about money at all", as she's always on the receiving end.
A guy bringing up the $$ question may can make her think that he is taking more interest in his money than in her. I volunteer to pay. I don't bring up the $$ question. Hopefully, eventually(and not weeks later), she'll have the common sense to figure out she can contribute as well.
But, this may not be the case up north if taking turns is the normal way of dating. I don't think it's just a north/south thing. I think it's a regional thing. The views may well be entirely different for those who live on the east and west coasts may be entirely different than what you or I have stated.
however, if she was not interested at all, she would pay her own bills even on the first date. Why on earth is she going on a date if she is not interested? That makes no sense. That, to me, is playing games & being unauthentic.
If she was interested, she would let you pay the bill, and if you did without talking about splitting bills etc, she might would think that you really liked her, too. I would likely simply offer to pay the bill on the first date, regardless of whether, at the end of the date, I feel she is dating material. Unless she turns out to be a total jerk, she gets a meal on me. I'm not going to suggest splitting the bill or ask her if she wants to help pay. If I'm interested, I'll simply express that interest and ask if we can continue to communicate and perhaps meet up again in the future.
If you, on the next date, again was picking up the bill, she would think you were indeed really interested and maybe the dating part would develop into something more. If I find her interesting and wish to continue exploring, I can see myself simply paying the bill and going from there. There will, though, likely be a point at which I begin to feel used and abused. If she never offers or helps with bill, that feeling will eventually result in me ditching her.
Thing is, this isn't about money at all, it is about showing her that you care for her, to us girls that is important. Seems pretty easy for her to say it "isn't about money at all", as she's always on the receiving end.
A guy bringing up the $$ question may can make her think that he is taking more interest in his money than in her. I volunteer to pay. I don't bring up the $$ question. Hopefully, eventually(and not weeks later), she'll have the common sense to figure out she can contribute as well.
But, this may not be the case up north if taking turns is the normal way of dating. I don't think it's just a north/south thing. I think it's a regional thing. The views may well be entirely different for those who live on the east and west coasts may be entirely different than what you or I have stated.
What I originally wrote, with your bold emphasis left in place, and what you need to also consider now put in red:
I volunteer to pay on the first date. Soon after that, we are either splitting bills or taking turns.
On another site I was reading responses to a similar question and some women were expecting the men to always pay. From what I recall, it was women in the south.
I'd be ditching women with such expectations.
Furthermore, if that's the way it actually is in the south, I'll kindly stay in the north.
It was not a blanket statement, I didn't accuse everyone of the view, and ended by stating "if" it is true. It was my observation from what I read on another site. Not a stereotype.
Many people from all over might just opine on the "who pays" issue. Could be quite fascinating.
I volunteer to pay on the first date. Soon after that, we are either splitting bills or taking turns.
On another site I was reading responses to a similar question and some women were expecting the men to always pay. From what I recall, it was women in the south.
I'd be ditching women with such expectations.
Furthermore, if that's the way it actually is in the south, I'll kindly stay in the north.
It was not a blanket statement, I didn't accuse everyone of the view, and ended by stating "if" it is true. It was my observation from what I read on another site. Not a stereotype.
Many people from all over might just opine on the "who pays" issue. Could be quite fascinating.
S
Can we not make any stereotypes based on regions? One will find women belonging to both schools of thought anywhere in the world, if one would care to look. Let's not turn this thread into a 'south vs north' argument.
Thank you for understanding.
Thank you for understanding.
.
S
Now, a southern lady often would like you to pay on the first date No problem.
however, if she was not interested at all, she would pay her own bills even on the first date. Why on earth is she going on a date if she is not interested? That makes no sense. That, to me, is playing games & being unauthentic.
If she was interested, she would let you pay the bill, and if you did without talking about splitting bills etc, she might would think that you really liked her, too. I would likely simply offer to pay the bill on the first date, regardless of whether, at the end of the date, I feel she is dating material. Unless she turns out to be a total jerk, she gets a meal on me. I'm not going to suggest splitting the bill or ask her if she wants to help pay. If I'm interested, I'll simply express that interest and ask if we can continue to communicate and perhaps meet up again in the future.
If you, on the next date, again was picking up the bill, she would think you were indeed really interested and maybe the dating part would develop into something more. If I find her interesting and wish to continue exploring, I can see myself simply paying the bill and going from there. There will, though, likely be a point at which I begin to feel used and abused. If she never offers or helps with bill, that feeling will eventually result in me ditching her.
Thing is, this isn't about money at all, it is about showing her that you care for her, to us girls that is important. Seems pretty easy for her to say it "isn't about money at all", as she's always on the receiving end.
A guy bringing up the $$ question may can make her think that he is taking more interest in his money than in her. I volunteer to pay. I don't bring up the $$ question. Hopefully, eventually(and not weeks later), she'll have the common sense to figure out she can contribute as well.
But, this may not be the case up north if taking turns is the normal way of dating. I don't think it's just a north/south thing. I think it's a regional thing. The views may well be entirely different for those who live on the east and west coasts may be entirely different than what you or I have stated.
however, if she was not interested at all, she would pay her own bills even on the first date. Why on earth is she going on a date if she is not interested? That makes no sense. That, to me, is playing games & being unauthentic.
If she was interested, she would let you pay the bill, and if you did without talking about splitting bills etc, she might would think that you really liked her, too. I would likely simply offer to pay the bill on the first date, regardless of whether, at the end of the date, I feel she is dating material. Unless she turns out to be a total jerk, she gets a meal on me. I'm not going to suggest splitting the bill or ask her if she wants to help pay. If I'm interested, I'll simply express that interest and ask if we can continue to communicate and perhaps meet up again in the future.
If you, on the next date, again was picking up the bill, she would think you were indeed really interested and maybe the dating part would develop into something more. If I find her interesting and wish to continue exploring, I can see myself simply paying the bill and going from there. There will, though, likely be a point at which I begin to feel used and abused. If she never offers or helps with bill, that feeling will eventually result in me ditching her.
Thing is, this isn't about money at all, it is about showing her that you care for her, to us girls that is important. Seems pretty easy for her to say it "isn't about money at all", as she's always on the receiving end.
A guy bringing up the $$ question may can make her think that he is taking more interest in his money than in her. I volunteer to pay. I don't bring up the $$ question. Hopefully, eventually(and not weeks later), she'll have the common sense to figure out she can contribute as well.
But, this may not be the case up north if taking turns is the normal way of dating. I don't think it's just a north/south thing. I think it's a regional thing. The views may well be entirely different for those who live on the east and west coasts may be entirely different than what you or I have stated.
however, if she was not interested at all, she would pay her own bills even on the first date. Why on earth is she going on a date if she is not interested? That makes no sense. That, to me, is playing games & being unauthentic. Well, it might could be that the jerk in her date had been well hidden before the first date...lol
If she was interested, she would let you pay the bill, and if you did without talking about splitting bills etc, she might would think that you really liked her, too. I would likely simply offer to pay the bill on the first date, regardless of whether, at the end of the date, I feel she is dating material. Unless she turns out to be a total jerk, she gets a meal on me. I'm not going to suggest splitting the bill or ask her if she wants to help pay. If I'm interested, I'll simply express that interest and ask if we can continue to communicate and perhaps meet up again in the future. You are always analyzing your date like this?
If you, on the next date, again was picking up the bill, she would think you were indeed really interested and maybe the dating part would develop into something more. If I find her interesting and wish to continue exploring, I can see myself simply paying the bill and going from there. There will, though, likely be a point at which I begin to feel used and abused. If she never offers or helps with bill, that feeling will eventually result in me ditching her. I can't see any disagreement here
Thing is, this isn't about money at all, it is about showing her that you care for her, to us girls that is important. Seems pretty easy for her to say it "isn't about money at all", as she's always on the receiving end.
It is basically a test... A guy bringing up the $$ question may can make her think that he is taking more interest in his money than in her. I volunteer to pay. I don't bring up the $$ question. Hopefully, eventually(and not weeks later), she'll have the common sense to figure out she can contribute as well. A real lady would.
But, this may not be the case up north if taking turns is the normal way of dating. I don't think it's just a north/south thing. I think it's a regional thing. The views may well be entirely different for those who live on the east and west coasts may be entirely different than what you or I have stated. I think you were the one bringing up the north/south thing
.
Actually stay at home mom/dad (seriously who ever makes the less money swallow the pride) makes sense.
I knew a couple who had kids. both were working. he made less money then her. broken down using her income for main bills (food,utils,car) and him paying for daycare. he ended up making profit $20-25 per week.. He was working for about $0.62 per hour. when he stayed home with the kids they had the SAME type of lifestyle as they did with both working. and the kids were happy cause dad was always around
I knew a couple who had kids. both were working. he made less money then her. broken down using her income for main bills (food,utils,car) and him paying for daycare. he ended up making profit $20-25 per week.. He was working for about $0.62 per hour. when he stayed home with the kids they had the SAME type of lifestyle as they did with both working. and the kids were happy cause dad was always around