Single Men It's Time to Step Up!

[Siberian_Khatru]

This seems to be primarily a religious problem.

This mentality was to be expected.

 

[Human]

This mentality was to be expected.

I don't have the issue. Women have approached me on several occasions. I am not religious. Religious people, I see, have this problem a lot; women usually don't approach men in those circles. It's not a statement of an anti-religious mentality, it's a statement given with insight into both 'worlds', if you like.

 

[secularhermit]

Let me just say the Christian world is screwed up. Many women say they want godly men and leaders and in the same breath pursue non-Christian guys who may or may not treat them like crap (but at least they're adventurous). You almost have to apologise for being a guy in the Church these days. There are less and less godly role models around and there's a lot of confusion amongst young men what it means to be a godly man. I think Still is onto something with a few of his posts here. The Church has pretty much emasculated young men and the results are passive, confused, insecure men of God. There needs to be more discipleship in the Church, that and mentoring.

I like that, except that the "Church emasculated young or anyone else". Facts are like those Samson lived his own timing: He liked secular women, except their own people and, similarly, today many men, like me, have liked the wrong ones, except the BEST ones. I would not blame a gender, I would blame my own choices, like Samson did.

 

[Tintin]

I like that, except that the "Church emasculated young or anyone else". Facts are like those Samson lived his own timing: He liked secular women, except their own people and, similarly, today many men, like me, have liked the wrong ones, except the BEST ones. I would not blame a gender, I would blame my own choices, like Samson did.

Personally, I've noticed far more Christian women pursuing non-Christian men than Christian men pursuing non-Christian women, but you're right, it's not a gender issue, it's more of an identity issue.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Increasingly, men have performed a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis in their own heads and determined that the weaknesses and threats involved outweigh the strengths and opportunities.

As a result, they are increasingly NOT "stepping up," as you call it, to commit themselves to traditional courtship must less the oppressive liberal/radical feminist legal construct that passes itself off as marriage anymore in Western societies.

But I'll let Dalrock explain the courtship thing itself further: https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/why-men-are-withdrawing-from-courtship/

We are paying a huge price for our decision to move from a marriage based family structure to a feminist child support family model and the socio-economic price Western societies are going to pay is going to seriously increase as the inertia left over from the former marriage based family model fades away at the very time severe socio-economic problems begin to manifest relating to the escalating national debt, escalating annual interest payments, declining federal revenues, etc... etc... etc...

 

[Oncefallen]

There needs to be more discipleship in the Church, that and mentoring.

This. All too often young men in the church have no one (including their own fathers) raising them up to become Godly men so they default to the behaviors of their peers which tends to leave us with overgrown boys. In our not so distant future boys looked forward to manhood and it's responsibilities whereas many today shirk that ideology in place of having fun.

 

[secularhermit]

Personally, I've noticed far more Christian women pursuing non-Christian men than Christian men pursuing non-Christian women, but you're right, it's not a gender issue, it's more of an identity issue.

I agree with your apreciation! It's common they liked tattoed men with hairy chest but I remembered my own grandma sighed watching soup operas and movies being older than I am and, I have been so involved in seeking "love" that I know they (girls/women) also sought for it in the wrong place, like the movie named "La hija del pastor" (I just forgot the English title). I will surf the www to get it and post a reference to give ladies a "clue" of how their SaMson side operates in THEM, also.

 

[Oncefallen]

like the movie named "La hija del pastor" (I just forgot the English title).

Ummm, the most literal translation would be The Pastor's Daughter although it could be The Preacher's Daughter.

 

[Chopper]

Yashua and Agricola pretty much summed it up for me on each side of my dilemma, aside from being in a small town, and very limited income, which is where I fall short fulfilling the "total package" as described ...morally, financially, spiritually and relationally. Because of this, there is the self-esteem of being unable to financially provide due to my disabilities of being deaf, bad back and leg makes it even harder.

Everyone has some sort of short fall that may effect their own self-esteem to some degree, which also can affect their "lack of desire or will power to approach the opposite sex in any kind of hope for finding what we desire, and we end up waiting for that moment to just happen or fall in our lap.

I am confident in who I am in faith and what I want, and having a good "moral compass", it's just not being able to provide in these times which keeps me at bay.

Everyone has something... what's yours?

 

[secularhermit]

I agree with your apreciation! It's common they liked tattoed men with hairy chest but I remembered my own grandma sighed watching soup operas and movies being older than I am and, I have been so involved in seeking "love" that I know they (girls/women) also sought for it in the wrong place, like the movie named "La hija del pastor" (I just forgot the English title). I will surf the www to get it and post a reference to give ladies a "clue" of how their SaMson side operates in THEM, also.

The preacher kids I guess: Preacher's Kid

 

[biscuit]

Times have dramatically changed both men & women. What worked in 1960, as far as relationship encounters, will not worked today. IMHO, probably 30% of Christian woman are worthy of marriage. While the majority of them are a mixture of Christian/secular values (horsecrap).

I was fortunate to have witnessed both schools and the new school doesn't & won't work because it dominated and controlled by feminist doctrines, while the old school was established by God. There are tons & tons of info the subject in the CC archive. Apparently, most men are not falling for the cheese in the mousetrap syndrome.

Sorry, it will get worse before it gets better. Blame the feminists for trading a bloc of votes for "political, socially & economic" leverage. This has been going on for the last 50 years and you wonder why men are just not interested in you. The freak show has gotten old and has outrun its intentions.

 

[secularhermit]

Ummm, the most literal translation would be The Pastor's Daughter although it could be The Preacher's Daughter.

Thanks!

We here love to mess up all the titles cinema makers do, hat's why I wasn't sure until seeing + believing.

 

[secularhermit]

Times have dramatically changed both men & women. What worked in 1960, as far as relationship encounters, will not worked today. IMHO, probably 30% of Christian woman are worthy of marriage. While the majority of them are a mixture of Christian/secular values (horsecrap).

I was fortunate to have witnessed both schools and the new school doesn't & won't work because it dominated and controlled by feminist doctrines, while the old school was established by God. There are tons & tons of info the subject in the CC archive. Apparently, most men are not falling for the cheese in the mousetrap syndrome.

Sorry, it will get worse before it gets better. Blame the feminists for trading a bloc of votes for "political, socially & economic" leverage. This has been going on for the last 50 years and you wonder why men are just not interested in you. The freak show has gotten old and has outrun its intentions.

That's sad!

If I dared to publish all I have heard and known from people whom I daily met I will be banned... There's an old saying: "Dime qué tienes y te diré cunato vales..." That applies for marriage. I guess Satan messed this up to hurt humankind the most. ALL human being longed to live with someone his likeness, with a fellowship od ideas and similar faith, but we are trading, seeing what it is more convenient for me, leaving children behind... I don't want to try it again: It's like betting in the lottery!

Men and women somehow lose big amounts by guessing at it.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I don't have the issue. Women have approached me on several occasions. I am not religious.

You don't need to convince me. And I'm happy for you!

Religious people, I see, have this problem a lot; women usually don't approach men in those circles. It's not a statement of an anti-religious mentality, it's a statement given with insight into both 'worlds', if you like.

I can't say I concur with the generalization, but I am fine with you expressing that sentiment in response to the OP.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

When you were born, the central organizing philosophy was a nuclear family structure. This structure created an incentive for men to produce more than they required for their own consumption and encouraged them to take on the responsibility of a family. This system benefited men, women, and children. Society and government also benefited.

Through a combination of legal and social “reforms”, the nuclear family structure was replaced with a structure organized around the concept of child support. Previously, a woman needed to secure a formal promise from a man in the form of marriage before she could expect him to support her and the children she bore. Now the law declares that any man she has children by are bound to support her and her children period.

Men were rewarded and therefore motivated under the old family structure but they absolutely detest the new child support system of family formation. Under the old system men married before fathering children and could expect rewards that included living with and raising his children with the opportunity to direct their upbringing (in concert with his wife). Under the new system the children are de facto the property of the mother whom the state compels him to pay so she can direct their upbringing generally as she sees fit. He can go pound sand if he doesn't like it.

Since the new system has largely removed the legal rewards and positive incentives for men to work hard to provide for their families, it has to rely instead on threats of imprisonment and social pressure to coerce men into earning “enough” income. The result has been that where men used to take pride in the birth of their children and celebrate with cigars, large numbers of them now fear and seek to avoid fatherhood.

Under the new laws even if a man chooses the structure of marriage he is always subject to being forced into the child support model for any or no reason by his wife. No fault divorce laws are unilateral and openly celebrated by both social scientists and modern Christianity as a tool for wives to threaten their husbands. Fathers have gone from being the respected head of household to deputy parent serving at the pleasure of their wives. As a result, fewer and fewer men are marrying and the remarriage rate has fallen most dramatically.

Times have dramatically changed both men & women. What worked in 1960, as far as relationship encounters, will not worked today. IMHO, probably 30% of Christian woman are worthy of marriage. While the majority of them are a mixture of Christian/secular values (horsecrap).

I was fortunate to have witnessed both schools and the new school doesn't & won't work because it dominated and controlled by feminist doctrines, while the old school was established by God. There are tons & tons of info the subject in the CC archive. Apparently, most men are not falling for the cheese in the mousetrap syndrome.

Sorry, it will get worse before it gets better. Blame the feminists for trading a bloc of votes for "political, socially & economic" leverage. This has been going on for the last 50 years and you wonder why men are just not interested in you. The freak show has gotten old and has outrun its intentions.

 

[biscuit]

When you were born, the central organizing philosophy was a nuclear family structure. This structure created an incentive for men to produce more than they required for their own consumption and encouraged them to take on the responsibility of a family. This system benefited men, women, and children. Society and government also benefited.

Through a combination of legal and social “reforms”, the nuclear family structure was replaced with a structure organized around the concept of child support. Previously, a woman needed to secure a formal promise from a man in the form of marriage before she could expect him to support her and the children she bore. Now the law declares that any man she has children by are bound to support her and her children period.

Men were rewarded and therefore motivated under the old family structure but they absolutely detest the new child support system of family formation. Under the old system men married before fathering children and could expect rewards that included living with and raising his children with the opportunity to direct their upbringing (in concert with his wife). Under the new system the children are de facto the property of the mother whom the state compels him to pay so she can direct their upbringing generally as she sees fit. He can go pound sand if he doesn't like it.

Since the new system has largely removed the legal rewards and positive incentives for men to work hard to provide for their families, it has to rely instead on threats of imprisonment and social pressure to coerce men into earning “enough” income. The result has been that where men used to take pride in the birth of their children and celebrate with cigars, large numbers of them now fear and seek to avoid fatherhood.

Under the new laws even if a man chooses the structure of marriage he is always subject to being forced into the child support model for any or no reason by his wife. No fault divorce laws are unilateral and openly celebrated by both social scientists and modern Christianity as a tool for wives to threaten their husbands. Fathers have gone from being the respected head of household to deputy parent serving at the pleasure of their wives. As a result, fewer and fewer men are marrying and the remarriage rate has fallen most dramatically.

I couldn't have stated it any better.

 

[Lynx]

AgeofKnowledge: Part of what you say is true, part is hyperbole. But all of it sounds a whole lot like the old guys sitting at the diner here in town complaining about politics, society and life in general. Every day they go to the diner for breakfast, coffee and the morning depression session. :-/

 

[Nautilus]

i've yet to meet a girl in my area worth fighting for or approaching first. Maybe christian women should set themselves apart to be seen as christian women and therefore attractive to christian men? I mean if I see you at a bar grinding on whoever dances with you, its not worth my time to speak to you the next morning at church.

 

[JesusLives]

i've yet to meet a girl in my area worth fighting for or approaching first. Maybe christian women should set themselves apart to be seen as christian women and therefore attractive to christian men? I mean if I see you at a bar grinding on whoever dances with you, its not worth my time to speak to you the next morning at church.

My question is what were you doing at the bar?
This just amused me that's all.

 

[Mitspa]

i've yet to meet a girl in my area worth fighting for or approaching first. Maybe christian women should set themselves apart to be seen as christian women and therefore attractive to christian men? I mean if I see you at a bar grinding on whoever dances with you, its not worth my time to speak to you the next morning at church.

Ouch! you know girls like this?