I haven't read all the replies, but a few,so if my thoughts have been covered I apologize for "beating a dead horse".
Your ex knows you're married, and apparently doesn't care. He has no respect for your marriage, and possibly marriage in general. So if your ex is willing to try and break up a marriage to get you, then whose marriage will be broken when he moves on to the next person? If you cheat on your husband, you won't find joy and peace, but rather you'll just be a broken cheater, and from your words that isn't what you want.
The Bible tells us that God will never give us a trial too heavy for us, and that He always gives us a way out of temptation. Your husband is one way out of temptation, so I agree that you need to tell your husband this other man is trying to contact you. Your husband is your protector, and your refuge, let him help you now. Sometimes the way men show us their love is through their protection of not only us and our family, but also though protecting the marriage. Maybe this can be one of his ways to show you his love?
As for the lack of intimacy, well life is like a roller coaster.....it goes up and down and all around....this may simply be one of those down times. Keep communicating with your husband. Tell him your needs and desires. Communication on BOTH sides helps build intimacy, so keep talking. I tend to stutter when speaking, especially when I am nervous about the topic or things. When we were first together, I couldn't say what I wanted necessarily, so I would write it down in a letter. After a while, instead of handing him the letter and letting him read, he began asking me to read it to him. Then eventually I felt safe enough with him to no longer need to write the letters, and I was able to tell him. It was all forms of communication, and over time and as our connection and intimacy grew the form of communication evolved. Now I have no trouble telling him things both good and bad. Use whatever form of communication you need to use, but never let good things go unsaid. My girlfriend would go into another room and call her husband to talk...Just another creative way to communicate.
Most of all continue to keep God at the top of your marriage. The closer each of you gets to God the closer you will come to each other. Peace and prayers.
