What Dating Advice Would You Give to the Opposite Gender?
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M
Marcus2x2
Guest
This may seem unhelpful, but: stay single, stay wealthy! Statistically, the likelihood of a marriage lasting is 50% or less depending on the age group in question. The likelihood of a de facto relationship lasting is even less! (Certainly in Australia anyway). I try to be content with such things as I have, which isn't easy, granted. I would argue trying to put your best foot forward may be a good thing presentation wise, in the sense about the example cited before of not coming across as all doom and gloom. However, surely if one is predisposed to such an outlook that will come accross if not now, most certainly later when breraking up would be a more difficult and sad thing to do. I think one is better off being one's self - despite the fact that it may well get you nowhere lol.
I guess this isn't quite dating advice and everyone is different, but for myself I prefer to just talk about everything and anything. The way people react to things they hear and see tells you alot about a person.
So I guess my advice is treat the other person with respect as you want to be treated, and get to know them. Listen don't talk, and frankly I don't know what to do if the person you are with is one of those ones who answer questions with one word sentences. If anyone has any ideas on that topic I'm all ears. I really hate trying to have a conversation with someone and it seems like you are trying to pull teeth.
Remember, the other person is as nervous as you are. So talk.
Maybe this will help someone I anyone actually reads these.
May God be between you and harm in all the dark places you must walk!
So I guess my advice is treat the other person with respect as you want to be treated, and get to know them. Listen don't talk, and frankly I don't know what to do if the person you are with is one of those ones who answer questions with one word sentences. If anyone has any ideas on that topic I'm all ears. I really hate trying to have a conversation with someone and it seems like you are trying to pull teeth.
Remember, the other person is as nervous as you are. So talk.
Maybe this will help someone I anyone actually reads these.
May God be between you and harm in all the dark places you must walk!
S
sweetheart728
Guest
S
sweetheart728
Guest
Y
youngnazarene
Guest
TALOFA all!
I guess the truth is that the advice varies from stranger to stranger. I'm a 22-year-old guy from Seattle, an island boy, and a Christian at that.
Ladies: Here's some advice if you ever run into a guy like me and for some odd reason think he's cute and charming. (Ew! No way!)
Don't ever "try to get to know him." If you end up "knowing him," you end up knowing him, that's all. Maybe he doesn't want you to know him. Guys are personal/private creatures too! A lot of times when girls are interested in me, all I hear is "Blah blah blah, blah-blah-blah blah blah?" And when I answer them, it's almost like I'm really saying, "Oh shut up and ask me something real for once." You are not Barbara Walters. And anyway, you're already a woman so that makes you both observant and detail-oriented, am I wrong? You'll pick up on things without snooping. Ask out of genuine curiosity, when the TIME calls for it. Talk about yourself as if you really do love yourself and others. "Love your neighbour as yourself." That in its own will make a guy like me interested in having a conversation.
Laugh. But not at everything. Tell him when it's not funny to you. That would make me laugh. If a girl ever called me on my corny jokes, I'd just crack up, seriously...
Notice why he loves who he loves. What does he love about his mom? What does he love about his sisters, and his brothers? Do you value those same qualities? If not, oh well. You're not trying to move in! But he loves the people he loves for a reason. I'm sure you ladies have already picked up on this one, so forgive me for rambling.
Apologize and be honest when you're wrong about something. Because if he's like me, he'll do the same. It might take a minute, but sometimes that minute is worth the wait. He's usually just trying to make sense of it in his head (which takes a while, so take it easy, please).
Don't confuse yourself to be someone that you are not. You are not his girlfriend. You are not his cousin, or his mommy. You may not even yet be his friend. You are just an acquaintance who happens to like him. Sometimes, all you need to do is say "hey..." and then disappear, and you'll be stuck in his head all day.
Ciao!
God's Love!
I guess the truth is that the advice varies from stranger to stranger. I'm a 22-year-old guy from Seattle, an island boy, and a Christian at that.
Ladies: Here's some advice if you ever run into a guy like me and for some odd reason think he's cute and charming. (Ew! No way!)
Don't ever "try to get to know him." If you end up "knowing him," you end up knowing him, that's all. Maybe he doesn't want you to know him. Guys are personal/private creatures too! A lot of times when girls are interested in me, all I hear is "Blah blah blah, blah-blah-blah blah blah?" And when I answer them, it's almost like I'm really saying, "Oh shut up and ask me something real for once." You are not Barbara Walters. And anyway, you're already a woman so that makes you both observant and detail-oriented, am I wrong? You'll pick up on things without snooping. Ask out of genuine curiosity, when the TIME calls for it. Talk about yourself as if you really do love yourself and others. "Love your neighbour as yourself." That in its own will make a guy like me interested in having a conversation.
Laugh. But not at everything. Tell him when it's not funny to you. That would make me laugh. If a girl ever called me on my corny jokes, I'd just crack up, seriously...
Notice why he loves who he loves. What does he love about his mom? What does he love about his sisters, and his brothers? Do you value those same qualities? If not, oh well. You're not trying to move in! But he loves the people he loves for a reason. I'm sure you ladies have already picked up on this one, so forgive me for rambling.
Apologize and be honest when you're wrong about something. Because if he's like me, he'll do the same. It might take a minute, but sometimes that minute is worth the wait. He's usually just trying to make sense of it in his head (which takes a while, so take it easy, please).
Don't confuse yourself to be someone that you are not. You are not his girlfriend. You are not his cousin, or his mommy. You may not even yet be his friend. You are just an acquaintance who happens to like him. Sometimes, all you need to do is say "hey..." and then disappear, and you'll be stuck in his head all day.
Ciao!
God's Love!
There has been some really good biblical advice here. I guess mine isn't exactly biblical but here ya go ladies.
KNOW THIS, you began to really like a guy, but there are a few things about him you can't stand, so you can fix him if you get married right?
WRONG!
People don't become more lovable after your married, actually the opposite, your invested now, the masks come off. You get the real deal after you sign. Just like a woman will make some sacrifices while dating that she won't commit to doing long term, likewise do guys. You think we love going with you to pick out shoes? HA. Remember that the pretty package has a human being with fallen flesh inside it who is generally trying to present their best selves.
KNOW THIS, you began to really like a guy, but there are a few things about him you can't stand, so you can fix him if you get married right?
WRONG!
People don't become more lovable after your married, actually the opposite, your invested now, the masks come off. You get the real deal after you sign. Just like a woman will make some sacrifices while dating that she won't commit to doing long term, likewise do guys. You think we love going with you to pick out shoes? HA. Remember that the pretty package has a human being with fallen flesh inside it who is generally trying to present their best selves.
F
FixYourWeave
Guest
Advice to men- brush your teeth for cryin out loud! Nobody wants hot sand crab smellin breath bein blowed all over them
OK, here's my advice to women in general about men...
1) Put aside all your assumptions about men and sex.
We will want you like crazy at some point, and no matter how holy we try to be, it will always be there. This doesn't make us perverts, sickos, weirdos, or any other name you'd like to call us....it simply makes us men. Just as God designed you with inherent attitudes about various things, He also wired men to crave women like mad. He also commands us to keep those desires in check prior to marriage, but that doesn't mean they'll go away entirely until then. Your man may never act on it inappropriately with you, and he may never say much about it, either...but trust me, its still in his head, and on his heart. It's a very important part of the male psyche, because we generally connect those feelings with our masculinity on a very intense level. If you catch your man "checking you out" for a brief moment, please resist the urge to slap him in the face.
2) Don't expect us to read your minds...period.
I honestly can't stress this strongly enough: if you want your man to know something, tell it to him (and more than once, too). Expecting him to automatically know and understand every little desire you have willl only lead to aggravation on both sides. We are not psychics - we rarely know anything about you unless we are told. Also, a man's brain is very segmented, with everything in a particular place...and none of them ever connect. If we're discussing a subject with you, and you change the topic, give us a few moments to catch up. Men do not naturally multi-task very well in the mental department. It doesn't mean we don't love you, nor that we hate you, or that we're deliberately ignoring you. Our brains (generally speaking) simply function a lot less rapidly than yours do. Patience is the key, at all times.
1) Put aside all your assumptions about men and sex.
We will want you like crazy at some point, and no matter how holy we try to be, it will always be there. This doesn't make us perverts, sickos, weirdos, or any other name you'd like to call us....it simply makes us men. Just as God designed you with inherent attitudes about various things, He also wired men to crave women like mad. He also commands us to keep those desires in check prior to marriage, but that doesn't mean they'll go away entirely until then. Your man may never act on it inappropriately with you, and he may never say much about it, either...but trust me, its still in his head, and on his heart. It's a very important part of the male psyche, because we generally connect those feelings with our masculinity on a very intense level. If you catch your man "checking you out" for a brief moment, please resist the urge to slap him in the face.
2) Don't expect us to read your minds...period.
I honestly can't stress this strongly enough: if you want your man to know something, tell it to him (and more than once, too). Expecting him to automatically know and understand every little desire you have willl only lead to aggravation on both sides. We are not psychics - we rarely know anything about you unless we are told. Also, a man's brain is very segmented, with everything in a particular place...and none of them ever connect. If we're discussing a subject with you, and you change the topic, give us a few moments to catch up. Men do not naturally multi-task very well in the mental department. It doesn't mean we don't love you, nor that we hate you, or that we're deliberately ignoring you. Our brains (generally speaking) simply function a lot less rapidly than yours do. Patience is the key, at all times.
G
greatkraw
Guest
G
greatkraw
Guest
G
GreenNnice
Guest
Girls,guys are a lot more scared of you than you might think they are.
Do something to open up to us and see where it goes, like 'why are you so funny?'
Say something personal about them and their personality. WE LOVE THAT !
OK, more advice, one you have said something like that to them then they need to BRING it after that and I do mean quickly BRING IT, and, that 'it' is God. Their communication to you should BREATHE God in it , it just should, they can make a LITTLE small talk with you but if they do not cut to 'the chase' quickly then you need to fleeeeeee.
The chase: Do you believe in God?
They need to ask you THAT question . You need to say 'Yes.' You shouldn't be grilled much more than that but the relationship SHOULD go nowhere fast IF that guy does not bring up God in the conversation. I don't care IF you KNOW He is going to bring up God later on. God is a jealous God and that guy, IF a Christian knows it ! He will let the Holy Spirit guide Him which is pure scripture talking, and, mentioning all kinds of things in that FIRST meeting without God should be a TOTAL turn-off to you. Sorry, but that is just what I feel and sorry if YOU just met some great guy (well, you think he is great) but he does not speak of God in conversation the slightest He MUST !
Again, the guy doesn't need to become holy religious with you but HE SHOULD WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE COMPATIBLE AND HE WON'T KNOW IF HE DON'T ASK. A christian guy WILL want to know that of you on the VERY FIRST DATE, I can just about 100% guarantee it.
I should do a thread on it, maybe I will.
Do something to open up to us and see where it goes, like 'why are you so funny?'
Say something personal about them and their personality. WE LOVE THAT !
OK, more advice, one you have said something like that to them then they need to BRING it after that and I do mean quickly BRING IT, and, that 'it' is God. Their communication to you should BREATHE God in it , it just should, they can make a LITTLE small talk with you but if they do not cut to 'the chase' quickly then you need to fleeeeeee.
The chase: Do you believe in God?
They need to ask you THAT question . You need to say 'Yes.' You shouldn't be grilled much more than that but the relationship SHOULD go nowhere fast IF that guy does not bring up God in the conversation. I don't care IF you KNOW He is going to bring up God later on. God is a jealous God and that guy, IF a Christian knows it ! He will let the Holy Spirit guide Him which is pure scripture talking, and, mentioning all kinds of things in that FIRST meeting without God should be a TOTAL turn-off to you. Sorry, but that is just what I feel and sorry if YOU just met some great guy (well, you think he is great) but he does not speak of God in conversation the slightest He MUST !
Again, the guy doesn't need to become holy religious with you but HE SHOULD WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE COMPATIBLE AND HE WON'T KNOW IF HE DON'T ASK. A christian guy WILL want to know that of you on the VERY FIRST DATE, I can just about 100% guarantee it.
I should do a thread on it, maybe I will.
G
GreenNnice
Guest
Not having a successful relationship makes me feel unqualified to post here, but all the same, my biggest piece of advice is just to be yourself. If you try to 'fake' who you are, you'll be found out eventually, and it usually costs you the relationship.
More than that, be patient, maintain good communication, be forgiving, and it's more than okay to take your time.
More than that, be patient, maintain good communication, be forgiving, and it's more than okay to take your time.
J
Jullianna
Guest
(LOVE the Eeyore and crab breath responses 
)
Reece, your response is so similar to mine. No matter the gender, don't be a dating shapeshifter; be yourself. Don't remake yourself to adapt to whatever the other person likes or is to the point you lose who you are. If you decide to pursue a permanent relationship with someone, knowing who YOU are is as important as knowing who they are. The truth of both will show at some point and there could be some serious differences and disappointments. Just be real and be true to yourself. If you don't fit with the other person, it's far less destructive to discover that in the beginning.
)Reece, your response is so similar to mine.
No matter the gender, don't be a dating shapeshifter; be yourself. Don't remake yourself to adapt to whatever the other person likes or is to the point you lose who you are. If you decide to pursue a permanent relationship with someone, knowing who YOU are is as important as knowing who they are. The truth of both will show at some point and there could be some serious differences and disappointments. Just be real and be true to yourself. If you don't fit with the other person, it's far less destructive to discover that in the beginning.