When "being married" becomes and Idol for singles

[secularhermit]

My thoughts are that I thank God for bringing a wonderful woman into my life who is now my wife. My life will go where I allow God to lead it. I am gratefully for now having a traveling companion to explore the possibilities and face the adventure of life together. I don't believe that it says in the bible that marriage is good but it does say that it is not good to be alone.

"Isn´t good to be alone" that´s why the fellowship of believers should exist under the umbrella of the Church and marriage should be good, otherwise, divorces prove to be a need to sort OUT things hard to be handled.

There are not perfect weddings neither perfect marriages, but these have proved to be good, just by being sought but who wants his /her MMs be melted outside his /her own mouth?

That´s the advantage of marriage, to "protect" both partners from missing the target of enjoying that pleasure outside the best place: Home.

 

[secularhermit]

I've been alone for many years.........or should I say unmarried......or unattached.........I don't get lonely........we must find peace and joy in the state you are in at the time...........married ....or not....in
the middle of trials ...or victories........
happiness and lonlyness are states of mind.........chosen by us.........finding a man who puts God first.....would be good.......but its not everything.........and I suppose putting that pressure on someone
to be responsible for your happiness Is alot to ask...........unless its God your asking........you own
happiness is your own responsibility.......marriage is not an answer for lonelyness.........most of my
days of lonelyness were in the middle of my marriage.....be happy right now in whatever circumstance your in..........then God can take care of what your heart desires.......

Yes!

Part of your sayings are/were parts of those who legally or emotionally got divorced.

 

[Lynx]

At the most basic level, an idol is anything that you feel like you can't live without--anything that if God were to take it away, you're not sure that you could continue to trust Him. So then thinking about it that way, you could also say that an idol is anything that we put before God on the throne of our hearts.
While marriage can no doubt be an idol I suspect that if someone considers marriage to be an idol in their life, there is a heart idol there that runs deeper than just a desire for marriage. Most likely an idol of acceptance or of success. My biggest struggle personally has always been the idol of acceptance--I feel unworthy of acceptance in some ways so I try to compensate in other ways and to me at times, marriage seems like a great bandaid.

Anyone who has an idol in their life is failing to believe the gospel as it applies to that area of their life, which is why Jesus is the answer to every idol. The truth is that God accepts me completely and is working in me to redeem the unrighteous things, but I fail to really believe that in my heart when I seek acceptance from people or allow myself to get depressed about singleness. There isn't anything wrong with longing for marriage. After all, God said that it isn't good for man to be alone. But when you let that longing cloud your view of Christ, that's when you start crossing into the realm of idolatry.

Some day I swear I WILL find a way to like a post twice...

 

[DCrawshawJr]

The way I remove idolatry from seeking a wife and marriage itself is removing as much emotion as I can from these things in my life. That way, I can focus on doing what God wants, even if it is seeking a wife. It's like what Spock said in Star Trek 12. I think he says in a sense, "Don't view my lack of emotion as not caring". I'm not trying to be cold and unfeeling, I'm just trying to keep my mind calm and focused (Matthew 6:33 is a GREAT focus verse). Anyone ever tried this?

 

[psychomom]

an idol is a false god...something other than Jesus we look to to save us.
perhaps a spouse is what single people believe may save them
from loneliness or isolation...but in some way, at some times
we all have idols.

could be money, or acceptance; could be a better job or living in a different place;
could be having our kids call or parents think we're great...
and that's just my own list...of things i hope are past.

anything smaller than Jesus (which is everything) we hope for salvation from
is our heart's idol. marriage is one thing on a long list of the possibles.

now that i've cheered everyone up, i'm going to sleep.
g'night, y'all.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

The way I remove idolatry from seeking a wife and marriage itself is removing as much emotion as I can from these things in my life. That way, I can focus on doing what God wants, even if it is seeking a wife. It's like what Spock said in Star Trek 12. I think he says in a sense, "Don't view my lack of emotion as not caring". I'm not trying to be cold and unfeeling, I'm just trying to keep my mind calm and focused (Matthew 6:33 is a GREAT focus verse). Anyone ever tried this?

I'm gonna be honest that this sounds a bit weird to me, since I am all emotion. I wouldn't honestly know how to do that, but more power to you if you can. For someone like me it would probably have to do with reminding myself to just be patient and wait for what God has in store, husband or no. He knows the desires of my heart, he knows what's best. And my Pastor always said to pray "God, please don't let me give my heart away before you do." And that usually keeps me well in check.