This is such a good question (thank you for bringing it up, Hoss)! I don't want to rehash some of the terrific observations others have made here, but I did want to share a few thoughts.
To be fair, I don't know what it would be like to go through some of the things other people go through. I've known some people who have gone through daily abuse and/or a crippling disability or disease that literally affects every minute of their life. I'm thinking of many people I've known in the past, including co-workers, and in particular, a prison inmate I used to correspond with. This person grew up between two households with four parents--two of whom were very aggressive and abusive, and two of whom were very passive and never stood up to the abusive parents. No matter which household he went to, he was subjected to horrible things, and his life fell into a terrible downward spiral that has given him a Life Without Parole sentence.
I am certainly NOT saying all people who go through something will become criminals!!! But what I AM saying is, how do we as Christians properly react to people who are caught in a vicious cycle of blaming everyone else, their situations, and even the devil himself for their own bad decisions? I struggle with this because one of the reasons inmates interest me is because... I feel I can relate to them. I was spared so much in own life but if I had gone through what they were dealing with (what MANY people deal with themselves on a daily basis), I know I would have become a much different person (possible with my own prison sentence as well.)
I think we have a good example of how God deals with "playing the victim" right off the bat. When Adam and Eve finally came forward after sinning, they couldn't even bring themselves to admit they had eaten the forbidden fruit. Rather, it was someone else's fault: "The woman you put here... she gave me the fruit, and I ate it..." "The serpent deceived me... and I ate."
How does God deal with each situation? He allowed each participant to explain their side of the story. And then He turned to everyone involved individually and said, "What is this YOU have done?"
I think we have a very accurate picture here of how God Himself deals with "The Victim Card." First, He allows the person to speak for themselves and give their own account of what happened. Next, He asks all who are involved what their side of the story is.
And then, He hands out correction and punishment accordingly. Of course, it may not be our place in the given situation to correct or punish. BUT, we have a clear example of how these situations are to be handled: listen to what the person has to say (within reason--Adam and Eve had no room to continuously repeat their stories), but keep in mind, God listens, understands, and I'm sure even sympathizes, but His ultimate question will be: "What is it YOU have done?"
In other words, He holds the person responsible for their actions.
I once read of a Christian psychologist who specializes in work with sexual abuse victims. He was especially frustrated with a particular case because no matter how much they prayed and did all they knew to do, his patient was not being healed. After much prayer and seeking God, this doctor had a revelation, and a very uneasy confrontation with his patient.
He told his patient, "I believe God has told me why you're not being healed. He's saying that when things started, the neighbor who abused you was at fault. However, eventually, you started going over to their house BY CHOICE, knowing full well what would happen, but deciding to go there anyway, and until you repent of this, our sessions won't make any further progress."
I am certainly NOT saying at all that victims of abuse are somehow to blame. There certainly are cases in which the victim is not at fault for anything.
However, my point is, God does not accept blame. Rather, He asks us all to bring whatever we've been through or are going through to Him to deal with, even if it takes a long time to sort through, and then go on to make better choices about our own actions.
