Name the Top 3 Reasons Why Men/Women Would Line Up to Date You!

[Rush]

Cinder, if I'd met more women like you, i'd have found Mrs Right by now!
Direct, rational, internal processing... where do i sign?

Let's see:

1) Even my emotional outbursts are rational, well thought out, and clearly articulated (sort of, and they're more like melt downs than outbursts).

2) I come with my own user manual. Sort of.

3) My life has been so normal that it's downright abnormal.

4) I can figure anything out… just about.

5) Almost any issues I'm having can be solved by taking me to the middle of nowhere and leaving me alone there for a few hours (with plenty of water or tea).

6) I like it when you tell me things as directly and clearly as possible.


So do double the reasons mean that my line will be doubly long, or does it mean I will be disqualified for not making this two posts?

 

[Rush]

1) I love laughter. I'd rather you have the world's most annoying laugh and laugh loudly and often than the world's nicest and never hear it.

2) My hygiene is impeccable. I love smelling like neutral smelling soap.

3) And unlike other Robin Hood's I can speak in an Australian accent.

 

[tourist]

Cinder, if I'd met more women like you, i'd have found Mrs Right by now!
Direct, rational, internal processing... where do i sign?

...on the dotted line.

 

[Trailblazer]

Octopus zucchini casserole?!

View attachment 94624

I could learn to make a killer bird roast for you.
I could serve him on the plate for you.
I am a romantic guy. I could even feed him on a fork for you.

 

[Descyple]

Here are three reasons why women should date me:

1. Dating me will improve your social-standing among your peers. Sometimes women just have to say they "know" me, and that alone increases their reputation status. You're welcome, ladies!!!

2. If you date me, you automatically get enrolled into the "Dames For Descyple" fan club, which entitles you to a chance of winning a free personalized calendar: each month has a photo of my smile (twelve smile shots from twelve different angles, who wouldn't want that?). My smile calendar is called "Twelve Months of Christmas" because it gives you gifts all year long.

3. You'll get to hear my impression of Napolean Dynamite. Unfortunately, I wear my moon boots everywhere I go, even when I'm not doing the impression, which has led many women to break up with me. Don't ask me to choose you over my moon boots - you'll lose every time!!!

 

[Lynx]

What are moon boots?

 

[Roh_Chris]

What are moon boots?

Moon boots are boots you wear when you go to the moon.

 

[cinder]

Cinder, if I'd met more women like you, i'd have found Mrs Right by now!
Direct, rational, internal processing... where do i sign?

Finding Mrs. Right could be disappointing as by definition she's already married. However, I hear her daughter Miss Right is a lovely young lady and set to inherit the family fortune (from inventing the airplane). She's also extremely reclusive and picky about the men she dates, but I wish you luck.

Also if you are that interested in signing your life away to someone like me, I'm always looking for minions for my take over the world plot. I send you the standard minion contract if you are interested, you just sign at the bottom, then you earn the right to do some of the necessary evils that running the world may require but that I have moral qualms about doing for myself

On a slightly more serious note that was a nice thing to say so thanks.

 

[Rush]

haha, standard minion contract ay? Let me see here... must wear white hard hat, check... must have an inability to shoot anywhere but the air around James Bond, check... must have intimate knowledge of doomsday weapons and their operational capabilities, check... possible promotion that includes a different coloured vest to stardard minions, check.
Well, this all seems in order

And my apologies, I didn't know you were married. But an honest compliment all the same
haha, also I'm sure whoever your daughter deigns to invite home to her mothers secret evil moon research station will be most worthy

Finding Mrs. Right could be disappointing as by definition she's already married. However, I hear her daughter Miss Right is a lovely young lady and set to inherit the family fortune (from inventing the airplane). She's also extremely reclusive and picky about the men she dates, but I wish you luck.

Also if you are that interested in signing your life away to someone like me, I'm always looking for minions for my take over the world plot. I send you the standard minion contract if you are interested, you just sign at the bottom, then you earn the right to do some of the necessary evils that running the world may require but that I have moral qualms about doing for myself

On a slightly more serious note that was a nice thing to say so thanks.

 

[cinder]

haha, standard minion contract ay? Let me see here... must wear white hard hat, check... must have an inability to shoot anywhere but the air around James Bond, check... must have intimate knowledge of doomsday weapons and their operational capabilities, check... possible promotion that includes a different coloured vest to stardard minions, check.
Well, this all seems in order

And my apologies, I didn't know you were married. But an honest compliment all the same
haha, also I'm sure whoever your daughter deigns to invite home to her mothers secret evil moon research station will be most worthy

Now you have me confused as to whether you really think I am married (I'm not, my twisted sense of humor simply teamed up with my inner grammar police when I saw you say you wanted to find Mrs. Right and added in a bad joke about the Wright brothers who invented the airplane (at least they invented the airplane in America)) or if you are one of those wonderful people who will just keep continuing a joke or witty line of storytelling.

I can see that you are well versed in the ways of minions so I may have to start you as a minion trainer or superior. It's so hard to find good minions these days.

 

[Roh_Chris]

Now you have me confused as to whether you really think I am married (I'm not, my twisted sense of humor simply teamed up with my inner grammar police when I saw you say you wanted to find Mrs. Right and added in a bad joke about the Wright brothers who invented the airplane (at least they invented the airplane in America)) or if you are one of those wonderful people who will just keep continuing a joke or witty line of storytelling.

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. Need I remind you that you have a twisted sense of humour, which is generally hard to comprehend, except for awesome people like me, who have so much of awesomeness that the word awesome would have been intimidated, if only it could read some of the awesome posts that I have written over the course of my time at CC?

 

[ServantStrike]

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. Need I remind you that you have a twisted sense of humour, which is generally hard to comprehend, except for awesome people like me, who have so much of awesomeness that the word awesome would have been intimidated, if only it could read some of the awesome posts that I have written over the course of my time at CC?

I'd say her humor is more towards the ironic or cynical side of the spectrum. Twisted would be gallows humor. That may or may not be a line I cross on occasion (not too morbid of course).

Either way though, I agree, her humor is top notch, and you are also awesome.

Much truth has been said. Much truth.

 

[kenthomas27]

I always try to park my truck on a hill so it's not so hard to push off.

i think i'm good with kids, like if a two year old hands me a toy phone I instinctually answer it. Does anybody else think Rainbow Trout is a good name for a girl?

I won't go thru your stuff. But if we get serious I'll probably put your picture on my odometer.

 

[gypsygirl]

What are moon boots?

they started out as a most hideous foray into fashion idiocy.

the inspiration of such a design reminds me of snowboarding boots, which my own beloved pair can be viewed here:



however, the landscape improved.... and now, less hideous versions are available. for example:

and

and that, people, are what moon boots are. : ) *curtsies*

 

[cinder]

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. Need I remind you that you have a twisted sense of humour, which is generally hard to comprehend, except for awesome people like me, who have so much of awesomeness that the word awesome would have been intimidated, if only it could read some of the awesome posts that I have written over the course of my time at CC?

And your humility is of course the most awesome thing about you, right?

Perhaps warped would be a better word than twisted, or whatever the word is that means: strong on ironic wordplay, treating something serious when it is known to be beyond the realm of probability, and making random connections and allusions. Oh and don't forget the one liners.

 

[GIA36]

My top3
Killer smile
sense of adventure
I love football and the football customs (a good beer & wings)

 

[VioletReigns]

I bet they'd line up if I told them:

1. I won the Super Lotto and am now a millionaire
2. I own a pastry shop filled with all manner of goodies
3. I have on my property a combination shooting gallery + race track equipped with awesome sports cars

But I don't have any of those things. Heehee!

All I got is:
1. I am an adventurer
2. I'm a loyal friend
3. I'm a recipe-winning cook + baker

 

[blueorchidjd]

I shall continue
1.





I forgot.

 

[Rush]

Haha, no no, not just continuing a joke... that one just flew straight over my head....... ........ ........

A little seriously though, while the morphology of zombies in cinema is quite extravagant, i feel minions have been relatively short changed in their own progression over the years. I mean, sure, they wear cooler clothing these days, but basically they're the same terrible shots and metaphoric red shirt wearing goons they've always been. They must have a terrible union

Now you have me confused as to whether you really think I am married (I'm not, my twisted sense of humor simply teamed up with my inner grammar police when I saw you say you wanted to find Mrs. Right and added in a bad joke about the Wright brothers who invented the airplane (at least they invented the airplane in America)) or if you are one of those wonderful people who will just keep continuing a joke or witty line of storytelling.

I can see that you are well versed in the ways of minions so I may have to start you as a minion trainer or superior. It's so hard to find good minions these days.

 

[Lynx]

I always felt sorry for the red shirts. You always knew they were going to get it.