How do you handle correction/being wrong?

[hoss2576]

When I read the forums, I am often fascinated by the way people conflict here. One thing that really stands out is the way people handle correction. Some people are quick to accept it, while others seem to have a difficult time admitting any misconceptions, weaknesses, or errors they have made or have. I have seen some situations where an apology seems appropriate but it feels the offending party has dug their heels in and won't address any possibility of being mistaken.


So here are my questions:

How do you handle correction?

Do you have a difficult time simply saying, "I was wrong"

Do you only apologize when you are completely wrong, or can someone warrant an apology if they have been offended by something you have done or said?

 

[cmarieh]

So here are my questions:

How do you handle correction?

Do you have a difficult time simply saying, "I was wrong"

Do you only apologize when you are completely wrong, or can someone warrant an apology if they have been offended by something you have done or said?

It does upset me that people argue here because the definition of Christianity is to be like Christ. On behalf of Christians, I apologize if you got offended. In all of my posts I try not to argue and accept correction. Granted, I am not like everyone else, but if I feel or have been told that I hurt someone's feelings I apologize, whether it is accepted or not. I do know that a lot of the Bible discussion forum are designed to help each and every one of us to strengthen our knowledge in the bible, and yes some of them go overboard, but not all do.

 

[cinder]

When I read the forums, I am often fascinated by the way people conflict here. One thing that really stands out is the way people handle correction. Some people are quick to accept it, while others seem to have a difficult time admitting any misconceptions, weaknesses, or errors they have made or have. I have seen some situations where an apology seems appropriate but it feels the offending party has dug their heels in and won't address any possibility of being mistaken.


So here are my questions:

How do you handle correction?

Do you have a difficult time simply saying, "I was wrong"

Do you only apologize when you are completely wrong, or can someone warrant an apology if they have been offended by something you have done or said?

Well I try to not be wrong to begin with. When that fails I will usually admit factual error when it is pointed out. I do seem to remember when I tried to correct the wrong person once and got totally schooled and shown up (something about the author of Prov 31) and admitted it. I won't say I always handle correction well, but I usually do go off and think about whether the person doing the correcting had a legitimate point or not.

Also I try to sort out misunderstandings or misinterpretations instead of jumping to take offense (As for offense, I don't like it so I never take it- that's a quote from somewhere that stuck in my head). I do believe that the person who has to resort to name calling has no valid argument left, and is therefore not worth listening to. As far as apologies, I have to be pretty wrong and see myself in the wrong to give one of those. I'm more likely to admit to a particular fault such as speaking without knowing all the facts and being wrong because of it etc.

 

[seoulsearch]

Cinder's answer made me smile. At one of my old jobs, they completely overhauled our front end with new equipment, and when I'm being trained to use new machines and systems, the first thing I want to know is how to correct mistakes. When I asked one of the more experienced women about this, she said, "I don't know, because I make sure I never make mistakes."

We all wish we could be like that. (I'm not making fun of Cinder's post in any way, I just smiled because of how well she honed in on a good point.)

I admit that my reaction has everything to do with the way in which it's presented. Just the other day one of my managers pointed out something he wants me to improve upon but he did so in a calm, factual way that didn't make me feel like I was being personally attacked. When it's presented in a considerate way, I have no problems accepting correction.

I've actually learned a lot about taking correction and criticism here on CC, and have even been able to apply it to real life. I appreciate that here in the forums, I at least have time to think before I react, even though I sometimes fail miserably. But I once had a job review in which the office manager said that my being able to accept criticism was one of my strongest points.

However, whether here or in real life, if the "correction" is a personal attack, biting criticism, or condescending, I have a tendency to react in the same way it was dished out, and I'm trying to work on that.

I'm also trying to balance apologies, because I used to be someone who apologized for everything, even as a disclaimer before I even actually made a mistake.I've actually had people here and in real life correct me for apologizing too much! But extremes are one of my specialties, and there are times when it would be easier for you to pull out a snake's fangs than get me to apologize over a situation in which I may have been wrong, but feel justified in how I reacted.

I guess this is why they have that little saying, "I'm a work in progress."

 

[Lynx]

"You know your growing in grace when others stop noticing that you correct there mistakes."

*Lynx curls up on his perch and waits for someone to find a mistake... =^.^=

 

[Sirk]

I View criticism as positive feedback...it's all about perspective.

 

[Lynx]

Okay, seriously (yes I can do serious if I really try hard.)

Each case is different. I first evaluate whether the person who is trying to correct me is right. This sometimes requires research. If it turns out I was wrong I try to make it a point to thank the person for mentioning it. If the person was wrong I might explain why I was right, or I might just not bother, depending on the person.

Or if it's something that doesn't matter, like I forgot to use my turn signal on a road where there are no other drivers for at least ten miles in either direction... I look at the would-be correcter kind of funny and go on about my business.

 

[ChandlerFan]

If someone is able to say they were wrong and apologize for something, I admire that in them so greatly. I have a very hard time saying that I'm wrong, especially in the heat of the moment, but after every conflict I always go into a period of self-reflection where I basically end up figuring out what I did wrong and how I contributed and then going and apologizing to that person. There have been a few times where I was able to admit that I was wrong right away. I think my admiration for that quality is so great that I want to take the opportunity to emulate it when I can, but it's difficult for me until I have had a chance to process it more.

 

[Lynx]

Quote for the day... well, quote for the thread: "Often in the science world a person will say, "You know, you're right. I never thought of that." And he will go and CHANGE HIS MIND, and you will never again hear that old opinion from him. It happens every day in science, but I cannot recall the last time it happened in politics or religion."

 

[Kaycie]

Completely humbly. I don't care if you're 9 or 99, to anyone who wants to correct me in love with scripture I roll out the welcome mat, IF it is clear that are caring about my soul. If they are thinking about themselves and come at me being harsh or judgmental I will not hear them. But if in love, they have my full attention and respect, because I then know it is God correcting me through them.

 

[cinder]

"You know your growing in grace when others stop noticing that you correct there mistakes."

*Lynx curls up on his perch and waits for someone to find a mistake... =^.^=

You know you're growing in grace when others stop noticing that you correct their mistakes.

Ok kitty nap time is over. (You know you wanted to be corrected on that sentence.)


(note to self: must remember smilies, that helps people understand that I'm being humorous not mean)

 

[CatHerder]

I'm never wrong, so I haven't had the chance to find out yet.

<font color="#0000cd"><font size="3"><span style="font-family: book antiqua">[video=youtube;WrjwaqZfjIY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY[/video]

 

[Nautilus]

Never been wrong, wouldnt know.

 

[JonahLynx]

Never been wrong, wouldnt know.

Correction, you are wrong now.

How does that make you feel?

 

[Nautilus]

wouldn't know

 

[JesusMyOnly]

How do you handle correction?
~ Well it honestly depends on the situation, the person(s) I'm talking with and the topic that is being discussed/debated. There are sometimes when I'll make a silly mistake, laugh about it and say sorry (small mistakes on issues that are not very big/important). Then there are other times when I'm corrected and its hard for me to take that correction. Because of pride, I'm skeptical of their critism and correcting me because I'm not so sure if its right at first. I get upset thinking what I know now could be wrong. Then feel frustrated cause I didn't learn this correction to begin with.


Do you have a difficult time simply saying, I was wrong?
~Saying I was wrong is difficult because I know if I have to say that then I was. But, its not as difficult for me to say that as the correction I was given was. By the time I say I was wrong that means I agree and see their point.


Do you only apologize when you are completely wrong, or can someone warrant an apology if they have been offended by something you have done or said?
~Saying I'm sorry isn't always easy either because I know I messed up. I'll apologize if I know that I hurt someone, I'll apologize if anyone was ever offended. I'd rather make friends than enimies anyday...


Over all if someone is honest, genuine and caring (even if they are strict) with the correction or critism and I've seen that it is true what they are saying I'll take it. Whether it is correction I can laugh about or that it doesn't bother me either way or if it bothers me a whole lot its good to get that correction. Hopefully I'll become more mature and wise.

 

[Lynx]

You know you're growing in grace when others stop noticing that you correct their mistakes.

Ok kitty nap time is over. (You know you wanted to be corrected on that sentence.)


(note to self: must remember smilies, that helps people understand that I'm being humorous not mean)

I was wondering when someone would catch that...

A friend on another forum saw it, reposted it with corrections, and then said, "Not growing in grace here!"

 

[MissCris]

(Going to make an attempt to answer just the specific questions since I have a tendency to...get waaaay off track...)

How do you handle correction?
My first reaction to it is to go immediately on the defensive; though that part only happens in my mind and I rarely voice it unless I'm positive that the correction itself is wrong. Otherwise, I take a minute to get past that before speaking (or typing). I'm usually fairly quick to accept that others see things about me a little more clearly than I do...I have yet to decide if this is good or bad, but it does make it easier to accept correction. It usually takes some time before someone's words really sink in, but if what they said was said in love, I will at least try to stop or curb whatever behavior they pointed out while I'm processing the information. If the correction is less about my behavior and more that I said something inaccurate, that's easier for me to handle and I usually thank them for teaching me something new.

Do you have a difficult time simply saying, "I was wrong"
Most of the time, no- it comes pretty easily after my initial defensive feeling. I'm wrong a lot. I make a lot of mistakes. I don't know everything. So when I'm wrong, while it's always a bit uncomfortable to have somebody point it out, I generally have no problem admitting it.
Sometimes though, when I feel that what I've done/said is not Wrong but just Different than what the person pointing it out as "wrong" is used to or believes, then I'll stand my ground. I try to keep it peaceful, because I don't want to fight, ever, with anyone. It doesn't always work out in a peaceful manner, but I try.
I won't say "I was wrong" just to keep the peace, though.


Do you only apologize when you are completely wrong, or can someone warrant an apology if they have been offended by something you have done or said?
I apologize if I inadvertently offend someone, or if I'm completely wrong, or if I hurt someone's feelings, or if I make them angry, or if I break their favorite (anything that can be broken), or...yeah, I apologize a lot. I have no problem offering an apology any time I directly or indirectly create a negative feeling for someone and they let me know.
I draw the line at having to apologize for the same thing five different times. If I say I'm sorry, I mean it. I don't beat people over the head with their mistakes, so I appreciate the same courtesy (though I don't always receive it).

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

How do you handle correction?

Analytically.

Do you have a difficult time simply saying, "I was wrong"

Only when I think I'm right.

Do you only apologize when you are completely wrong, or can someone warrant an apology if they have been offended by something you have done or said?

Since who or what is wrong can be so subjective, I apologize when an offense is inferred, regardless of my perspective, though I do try to elucidate my position still (unless it seems counterintuitive).

 

[secularhermit]

I hope you be corrected by receiving an icecream you liked.