Sex is for in marriage only

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
E

Elijah19

Guest
#1
#1
Just a quickie thread to remind everyone of something that even a lot of Christians are forgetting: Sex is for marriage only. NO you are not allowed to do it if you love someone but are not married. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone other than your spouse. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone without being first married to them, that is fornication.

I just recently read a lot of posts today by different "Christian" authors, all of whom were trying to work through their problems on here. All of them had two things in common: One, their problems all had root in sex outside of God's consent. Two, they were asking if they had really sinned, and what had caused their problems.

Wake up people! How hard can a simple command be?! Keep it zipped, or get married! That's all there is to it. Obey God no matter what... and I don't even want to begin and here about all you're little commitment and cost issues - neither does God, and neither does it matter. OBEY!!!
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#2
#2
Elijah19 said:
Just a quickie thread to remind everyone of something that even a lot of Christians are forgetting: Sex is for marriage only. NO you are not allowed to do it if you love someone but are not married. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone other than your spouse. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone without being first married to them, that is fornication.

I just recently read a lot of posts today by different "Christian" authors, all of whom were trying to work through their problems on here. All of them had two things in common: One, their problems all had root in sex outside of God's consent. Two, they were asking if they had really sinned, and what had caused their problems.

Wake up people! How hard can a simple command be?! Keep it zipped, or get married! That's all there is to it. Obey God no matter what... and I don't even want to begin and here about all you're little commitment and cost issues - neither does God, and neither does it matter. OBEY!!!
Click to expand...
Hey Elijah. Thanks for your reminder. Just because I'm curious, were you led to post this reminder? What I mean by that is did you feel led by God to post this or was it just something on your mind or you had been reading some other posts and were so moved to post what you did?
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#3
#3
Elijah19 said:
Just a quickie thread to remind everyone of something that even a lot of Christians are forgetting: Sex is for marriage only. NO you are not allowed to do it if you love someone but are not married. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone other than your spouse. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone without being first married to them, that is fornication.
Click to expand...
I'm glad you brought this up! I have looked over Hebrews 13:4 and some translations do indeed specify "fornicators." Other translations, however, use the terms whoremonger or the sexually immoral, the former of which means something different than fornicator, while the latter is a little more ambiguous.

I would really like clarification on this, if anyone can elucidate. :)

Elijah19 said:
How hard can a simple command be?!
Click to expand...
Very, depending on the individual.
 
E

Elijah19

Guest
#4
#4
I did feel led. All of those reasons apply though. First I was crushed by what I read about others suffering the consequences of sexual sin, yet not knowing why. then conviction hit me to tell people what they keep missing in plain sight. When God makes a command, it is our job to keep passing it on to our brothers and sisters to make sure of their footwork.
 
E

Elijah19

Guest
#5
#5
Hey Siberian Khatru,

Whereas Adultery is defined as sex outside of one's marriage vows, Fornication is defined as sexual activity devoid of marriage entirely. At first they may appear to be very similar definitions, but notice this: With Fornication, having sex with someone you are not married to is a sin whether you are single or married. Adultery is the act of an affair, so it by definition must always include an unfaithful spouse.

Another way of looking at it is this. Fornication includes all acts of premarital and extramarital sexual activity whatsoever, whereas Adultery means you are cheating on your spouse. The Bible is clear that sex is NEVER meant to happen outside of a marital relationship in any way shape or form. You must be either sleeping with your spouse, or sleeping with no one.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#6
#6
Every time another thread about sex pops up, I'm over here like...

124383.jpg


Elijah19 said:
Just a quickie thread to remind everyone of something that even a lot of Christians are forgetting: Sex is for marriage only. NO you are not allowed to do it if you love someone but are not married. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone other than your spouse. NO you are not supposed to do it with someone without being first married to them, that is fornication.

I just recently read a lot of posts today by different "Christian" authors, all of whom were trying to work through their problems on here. All of them had two things in common: One, their problems all had root in sex outside of God's consent. Two, they were asking if they had really sinned, and what had caused their problems.

Wake up people! How hard can a simple command be?! Keep it zipped, or get married! That's all there is to it. Obey God no matter what... and I don't even want to begin and here about all you're little commitment and cost issues - neither does God, and neither does it matter. OBEY!!!
Click to expand...
While I understand that it gets to be frustrating to see/hear about fellow Christians who are blind to the sins they're committing, I would be willing to bet that a post like this isn't going to get their attention and make them turn from what they're doing. When we speak out of frustration and impatience towards people, it's amazing how fast they can suddenly go deaf and not hear the heart of what we're saying.
 
J

jaybird88

Guest
#7
#7
I always wondered why fornication was not mentioned in the sex laws of Leviticus.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#8
#8
Elijah19 said:
Hey Siberian Khatru,

Whereas Adultery is defined as sex outside of one's marriage vows, Fornication is defined as sexual activity devoid of marriage entirely. At first they may appear to be very similar definitions, but notice this: With Fornication, having sex with someone you are not married to is a sin whether you are single or married. Adultery is the act of an affair, so it by definition must always include an unfaithful spouse.

Another way of looking at it is this. Fornication includes all acts of premarital and extramarital sexual activity whatsoever, whereas Adultery means you are cheating on your spouse. The Bible is clear that sex is NEVER meant to happen outside of a marital relationship in any way shape or form. You must be either sleeping with your spouse, or sleeping with no one.
Click to expand...
Thanks Elijah! You are correct about those definitions. :) Alas, I said nothing of adultery. The terms that seem [most often] "interchangeable" with fornicator in reference to Hebrews 13:4 are whoremonger (one who consorts with whores; a lecher or a pander) or the sexually immoral.

Fornicators and whoremongers are not synonymous, and "sexually immoral," can include any number of things. Due to the incongruity of the translations on this passage, this is a verse I haven't been entirely clear on.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#9
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#9
jaybird88 said:
I always wondered why fornication was not mentioned in the sex laws of Leviticus.
Click to expand...
Because the idea of pre-marital sex was illogical to the culture of that time period. Sex was the confirmation of a commitment to be married in that the marriage was not thought of as having gone into effect until consummation. Think of it as signing a contract - the contract does not become active until the signature is made. To ban "pre-marital sex" would be like banning "pre-signed signatures."

There are, however, laws/guidelines about having sex prior to any marital process (permission from the father, ceremony, etc). One who has sex prior to arrangement would be like one who signs a blank document whereupon the owner can write any terms. This is why Levitical law for "pre-marital sex" results in the two parties becoming married OR the male being forced to financially compensate the girl's family at the father's discretion.
 
Last edited:
J

jaybird88

Guest
#10
#10
JonahLynx said:
Because the idea of pre-marital sex was illogical to the culture of that time period.
Click to expand...
man and woman having a desire for one another was illogical? dosent make sense to me? in this ancient culture kings had several wives and mistresses.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#11
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#11
jaybird88 said:
man and woman having a desire for one another was illogical? dosent make sense to me? in this ancient culture kings had several wives and mistresses.
Click to expand...
No, read the rest of my post, brother. It's the concept that was illogical, not the practice of what we now consider pre-marital sex.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#12
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,174
113
#12
JonahLynx said:
Because the idea of pre-marital sex was illogical to the culture of that time period. Sex was the confirmation of a commitment to be married in that the marriage was not thought of as having gone into effect until consummation. Think of it as signing a contract - the contract does not become active until the signature is made. To ban "pre-marital sex" would be like banning "pre-signed signatures."

There are, however, laws/guidelines about having sex prior to any marital process (permission from the father, ceremony, etc). One who has sex prior to arrangement would be like one who signs a blank document whereupon the owner can write any terms. This is why Levitical law for "pre-marital sex" results in the two parties becoming married OR the male being forced to financially compensate the girl's family at the father's discretion.
Click to expand...
Hypothetically speaking if a couple prayed and asked God to marry them do you think that would be o.k.? If they didn't have any intentions other than to marry each other?
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#13
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#13
JesusLives said:
Hypothetically speaking if a couple prayed and asked God to marry them do you think that would be o.k.? If they didn't have any intentions other than to marry each other?
Click to expand...
In my opinion if the couple was sincere and vowed to each other and to God in marriage, then yes they would be married. I believe this is the barebones marriage ceremony.

... the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (Malachi 2:14)

But it's a vague issue determining at what point a couple becomes married. I haven't found a place in Scripture which defines it by concrete prerequisites. The common denominators though are that God confirms it, vows are made, and a consummation takes place.
 
Last edited:
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#14
Aug 13, 2014
26,701
8,936
113
#14
Did anyone else catch the (perhaps unintentional) joke in the OP's first sentence? >.>

I thought for sure it was going to be a troll thread. But I read it anyway and it seems to be serious.

MissChris stole my rug so I'm going to go find another one to hide under.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#15
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#15
Good tips, sometimes, came late:

Gen 38:15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, since she had concealed her face.
Gen 38:16 So on the way, he turned aside, approached her, and said, "Come on! Let's have some sex!" But he didn't realize that he was talking to his own daughter-in-law. "What will you give me," she asked, "in order to have sex with me?"
 
M

Moose_Almighty

Guest
#16
#16
I hope we're all adults here, with no filter with what i'm about to say, just giving a piece of my mind on this topic.

Before I explain my thoughts gonna take y'all back about over a year ago.
I was in a relationship for five years, during my relationship with this woman we did not have sex, we were that so called perfect couple... I was willing to keep that going but she left me for another guy and that was that.

Jumping ahead a little over a year later, I only just recently lost my virginity last April. It is what it is and I understand my actions but I personally don't regret it because it was perfect! We had sex a few more times but after each session I learned something new. Overtime she basically fell in love with me for what I could do to her in the bedroom and not by the little things that truly make relationships tick. With prior experience, when you're in a relationship for years with no sex, you really do learn what love is and learn appreciate the little things in a relationship like being each others best friend. But what this woman and I had was not what I would call love, and it's not something I would commit to because I know with her personal obsession in the bedroom it would fail long term. You could say, "oh that was just a fluke with her personality..." But... I met another girl and the same exact thing happened... We made hot passionate love the night we met and later she only fell for me for what I could do to her in the bedroom. She was stalking me for a little while after that night but she didn't give a damn about me, my heart and the little things, she only cared about what she got out of me in the bedroom... She just wanted to do it...

It's nice to know what you're doing in the bedroom but at the same time starting a relationship based on sex is not the way to go if you're looking for something long term and heavenly. Also it doesn't feel right if you're not even in love with the person you're having sex with. Inside your heart while doing it, you just have an empty feeling and you're asking yourself "What am I doing here?" Well from what I learned I have done my dirty deeds and the next woman that God puts into my life, our relationship will be done the right way. I don't need sex for love, hopefully she will feel the same way.

I think the reason sex before marriage is a sin is because not only God said so but you totally miss out and getting to know the better qualities of your significant other. If you rush straight into the sex, you miss out on so many little things that love is about and long term you'll become irritable of each other. I haven't been there but I can see how it is possible...

I have two feelings towards my actions though... One feeling is that I'm happy I did it, well for one because holy or unholy you couldn't ask for a better first time experience the way it happened haha, and two because now I know how to have sex/make love and I won't be giving a woman in my future any traumatizing, painful, or awkward experiences... But at the same time if I could go back in time and had a little bit more courage at the moment before we did it, I would have definitely said no. After we did it, I felt that I lost my last good tie with God since I was already committed to my virginity for 24 years. I messed it up and felt a bit guilty about it. But we all make mistakes as humans and who knows, maybe it was supposed to happen that way. God and I had our talk and I know he still loves me and my past is my past and he's given me the brain to learn from it.

To those who are still virgins, I'd wait if I were you! I don't think it's worth to lose your virginity before marriage because you'll learn how to love someone better if you don't need sex in a relationship. You want your significant other to be your best friend, not an object of desire. Peer pressure will be there, yes I failed... But you don't need to fail... Just stick with God and trust him. Trust his light, trust his love, and most importantly trust his word!

Sorry if this was a bit much for the CC.

God Bless Everyone!
-Moose_Almighty-
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#17
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#17
Hi! I stopped while reading here "Before I explain my thoughts gonna take y'all back about over a year ago.
I was in a relationship for five years, during my relationship with this woman we did not have sex, we were that so called perfect couple... I was willing to keep that going but she left me for another guy and that was that. " and thought: What would be the benefit of being married?

Marriage is a bullet-proof jacket?

Not even to married ones but... Each does what he does.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
26,701
8,936
113
#18
*Lynx once again crams both paws in his mouth to keep from saying something and walks away.

This is becoming a habit with Moose's posts...
 
M

Moose_Almighty

Guest
#19
#19
"So called perfect couple" meaning we did not falter to sex before marriage. We didn't get married because she was still in College and that would just be wrong. The benefit would be that long term we were the best of friends and sex was not an issue between us. But obviously it didn't work out that way...
 
M

Moose_Almighty

Guest
#20
#20
Lynx said:
*Lynx once again crams both paws in his mouth to keep from saying something and walks away.

This is becoming a habit with Moose's posts...
Click to expand...
What's bothering you with my post's?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.