I hope we're all adults here, with no filter with what i'm about to say, just giving a piece of my mind on this topic.
Before I explain my thoughts gonna take y'all back about over a year ago.
I was in a relationship for five years, during my relationship with this woman we did not have sex, we were that so called perfect couple... I was willing to keep that going but she left me for another guy and that was that.
Jumping ahead a little over a year later, I only just recently lost my virginity last April. It is what it is and I understand my actions but I personally don't regret it because it was perfect! We had sex a few more times but after each session I learned something new. Overtime she basically fell in love with me for what I could do to her in the bedroom and not by the little things that truly make relationships tick. With prior experience, when you're in a relationship for years with no sex, you really do learn what love is and learn appreciate the little things in a relationship like being each others best friend. But what this woman and I had was not what I would call love, and it's not something I would commit to because I know with her personal obsession in the bedroom it would fail long term. You could say, "oh that was just a fluke with her personality..." But... I met another girl and the same exact thing happened... We made hot passionate love the night we met and later she only fell for me for what I could do to her in the bedroom. She was stalking me for a little while after that night but she didn't give a damn about me, my heart and the little things, she only cared about what she got out of me in the bedroom... She just wanted to do it...
It's nice to know what you're doing in the bedroom but at the same time starting a relationship based on sex is not the way to go if you're looking for something long term and heavenly. Also it doesn't feel right if you're not even in love with the person you're having sex with. Inside your heart while doing it, you just have an empty feeling and you're asking yourself "What am I doing here?" Well from what I learned I have done my dirty deeds and the next woman that God puts into my life, our relationship will be done the right way. I don't need sex for love, hopefully she will feel the same way.
I think the reason sex before marriage is a sin is because not only God said so but you totally miss out and getting to know the better qualities of your significant other. If you rush straight into the sex, you miss out on so many little things that love is about and long term you'll become irritable of each other. I haven't been there but I can see how it is possible...
I have two feelings towards my actions though... One feeling is that I'm happy I did it, well for one because holy or unholy you couldn't ask for a better first time experience the way it happened haha, and two because now I know how to have sex/make love and I won't be giving a woman in my future any traumatizing, painful, or awkward experiences... But at the same time if I could go back in time and had a little bit more courage at the moment before we did it, I would have definitely said no. After we did it, I felt that I lost my last good tie with God since I was already committed to my virginity for 24 years. I messed it up and felt a bit guilty about it. But we all make mistakes as humans and who knows, maybe it was supposed to happen that way. God and I had our talk and I know he still loves me and my past is my past and he's given me the brain to learn from it.
To those who are still virgins, I'd wait if I were you! I don't think it's worth to lose your virginity before marriage because you'll learn how to love someone better if you don't need sex in a relationship. You want your significant other to be your best friend, not an object of desire. Peer pressure will be there, yes I failed... But you don't need to fail... Just stick with God and trust him. Trust his light, trust his love, and most importantly trust his word!
Sorry if this was a bit much for the CC.
God Bless Everyone!
-Moose_Almighty-