50 Shades of Grey is Women's Porn

[kaylagrl]

It should not be viewed as a platform sto say ''this is what all women want'', but as inspiration to think ''perhaps she might want something different''. Generally, in relationships, women find itdifficult to ask for, or express, their true sexual desires and in this regard 50 Shades has been liberating because it gives women a platform from which to actually tell their partners what they'd really like. The fact that it has sold so many copies is testament to the power the book has as a sexual tool in our modern age where prudence can often come before satisfaction between couples.



This simply isn't true. No sexual act in and of itself in the book is overtly predatory. This is an exaggeration.



Then it is an opportunity for growth for us and for young women. If young women truly build their entire relationship values of one book I worry for the state of young womens' sense of reason. In reality you view them as far more unintelligent than they actually are. Women read the book and generally find themselves attracted to MR Grey because of the fantasy of being dominated. That is not to say they take the love story itself, if it can be called that, as the pinnacle of independent and egalitarian romanticism; they do not, generally.



Being desired to the point of obsession is a romantic and sexual fantasy for many women.



They're being taught nothing but what they take from the book. Again, many women find it liberating to have a platform from which they can recognize their genuine sexual desires with their partners rather than suppress them as society often tells them they must.



College boys are smart enough to understand it's just a book, and college ''rape'' is over-reported and highly exaggerated because of the same neo-feministic ideals you seem to want to support. The reason college boys end up in false rape accusation cases is because feminists redefine rape to mean ''regretted sex''. Regretted consensual sex is not rape.



Supposed to? That's a gross exaggeration.



Ad yet if it was socially propagated that women should cover up (or God forbid, wear a burkha to save themselves from exploitation or sexual objectification) you'd oppose that too, I would imagine.

Look, women are free to do what they like in our society. That's the bottom line really.

So we're responding to the OP saying 50 shades is womens porn.Not what women are free to do in society.No to say that this day in age women aren't sexually liberated is quite laughable.Look at any selfie,FB page,Instagram etc and Id say women of today are pretty sexually liberated.There is nothing,I mean nothing left to the imagination anymore.Nothing people wont discuss about their sexual predilections.But if a couple of women out there arent liberated yet,which I doubt,this book isn't a champion for women liberation,sexual or otherwise.The female character is a sexual play thing for Mr Grey.For him to teach her and show her this is what she really wants deep down.Not for him to ask her what is it that she would like.He tells her.


As to your points as far as the sex involved in the books I didnt read them,only 2 excerpts,and that was enough.But here is the point I was trying to make about collage guys and rape and the idea that this book perpetuates an abusive view of women I will defer to women who have read the book and have deeper insight then I do...


[h=1]‘Fifty Shades’ of a Bad Relationship" ~[/h] I find the interest in the Fifty Shades trilogy to be distressing, especially for women. I fear that Christian and Anastasia’s relationship will be viewed as the romantic ideal for women.There are four issues throughout the trilogy that bother me, and make me question how women perceive personal relationships as they read these novels: Anastasia’s insecurity, Christian’s controlling nature, Anastasia’s refusal to eat enough, and the couple’s marriage.Throughout each book in the Fifty Shades trilogy, I noticed that the author portrayed Anastasia as a character with very little self-esteem. Christian stalks, intimidates, and isolates Anastasia. What does she do in response? She manages her behavior to keep peace in her relationship with Christian. This is a habit often used by women who are being abused. Why does Anastasia stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t view her as an independent person? Because she has low self-esteem. The author also makes it clear that Anastasia only feels attractive when Christian says she is, and when he patronizes her, she internalizes everything he says as truth.
Before entering in their relationship, Anastasia must sign a contract stating that she will take a form of birth control, exercise with a trainer, sleep at least eight hours a night, and only eat from a list of foods Christian approves. What’s saddening, besides the fact that Anastasia signs the contract, is that she doesn’t make any of her own terms on the contract—Christian has full control of her life.Christian and Anastasia’s marriage seems to be based on desperation and insecurity—not the first attributes that come to one’s mind when thinking about a healthy marriage. Christian storms out of the house with anger when he finds out Anastasia is unexpectedly pregnant. A woman shouldn’t fear her husband when finding out she’s pregnant, even in the worst life circumstances. Christian and Anastasia’s marriage make it seem like emotional abuse from a spouse is acceptable as long as he or she is great in bed. That’s not exactly my definition of romance.Mostly, I worry that women reading these books will think it’s normal to base their wellbeing and self-esteem on another person’s opinion of them. In my opinion, having a relationship based on love and equality is much sexier than one based on co-dependency and fear.
From The Nittany Pride

Jan Moir- Sorry Sisters Theres Nothing Liberating about Mommy Porn-


He {Gray} is a handsome billionaire — aren’t they all? — with ‘expensive and absorbing hobbies’ and a voice which is ‘warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel’...
By page 111 they are in bed together...Later she signs a contract to exercise, diet and be his ‘shaved and waxed’ submissive partner.
Girls, it is as if feminism never happened! And before too long Anastasia is in his Red Room of Pain, a sado-masochistic lair where carefully choreographed punishments and humiliations are carried out on a regular basis. So far, so bad. For had this book been written by a man for men, it would have been derided and dismissed as thrill-seeking, anti-female, pornographic, sexist smut.Stop it, I’m blushing 50 Shades Of Pink. Not about the sex scenes, but by the thought that any woman could be inspired by the enslaved Anastasia, who at one point thinks to herself: ‘Truly I am a marionette and he is the master puppeteer.’ Oh, the shame. How has this happened? Is this sudden and widespread female thirst for bondage and sado-masochistic sexual fantasy a sign that, tired of the struggle for equality, women want to take refuge in being bossed around in the bedroom by a man?...For underneath the spankings and the bondage of Fifty Shades lurks a very conventional romantic narrative. Anastasia is a strong and self-contained young woman who still has inner doubts about herself and her attractiveness. She is a vehicle for the insecurities of millions of women, a conduit for the atavistic desire for a dominant male, not to mention the modern longing for a very rich one to take all the worry away.
For Christian has billions. He buys her fine French lingerie and a laptop, flies her around in his helicopter, lays on the finest things that money can buy. He is a tortured knight in shining armour, one who even scoops up Anastasia in his strong arms when she faints.It’s just an old-fashioned fairytale with added spanks. It is Pretty Woman and 9½ Weeks for a new generation.
And yes, it is pretty awful, but when did that ever matter?

From The Daily Mail

I could go on with other woman who have the same opinion but I wont.I think my point was made in their remarks.

 

[NewWine]

When The Passion of the Christ was released, all I heard was how much I would be moved watching it. Then I watched it. I was very disappointed, but I just figure I wasn't the target audience for the movie. I had already been moved by the life and crucifixion of Christ, so I wasn't the one meant to be moved by it is all. It wasn't a horrible movie, but I was disappointed that I had wasted my time and money to see it.

With that being said, I barely have enough time in a day to shower most days, so why would I waste my time reading such drivel? My oldest daughter read it. A friend gave it to her in college, so she read it, and her thoughts on the story was, "It's a reallllllllllly stupid book, Mom." so I doubt I will waste what little free time I have reading it.....
Besides, if I spend what little free time I have reading that, I won't have any free time left to read about it here.
Peace!

 

[kaylagrl]

When The Passion of the Christ was released, all I heard was how much I would be moved watching it. Then I watched it. I was very disappointed, but I just figure I wasn't the target audience for the movie. I had already been moved by the life and crucifixion of Christ, so I wasn't the one meant to be moved by it is all. It wasn't a horrible movie, but I was disappointed that I had wasted my time and money to see it.

With that being said, I barely have enough time in a day to shower most days, so why would I waste my time reading such drivel? My oldest daughter read it. A friend gave it to her in college, so she read it, and her thoughts on the story was, "It's a reallllllllllly stupid book, Mom." so I doubt I will waste what little free time I have reading it.....
Besides, if I spend what little free time I have reading that, I won't have any free time left to read about it here.
Peace!

Lol well there's a lot that cant be said about it here because of the content.But I would agree with your daughter.I would say the target audience would be young teens because by the excerpts I read it seems very poorly written.But by the content it had to be meant for an older audience.

 

[Human]

So we're responding to the OP saying 50 shades is womens porn.Not what women are free to do in society.No to say that this day in age women aren't sexually liberated is quite laughable.Look at any selfie,FB page,Instagram etc and Id say women of today are pretty sexually liberated.There is nothing,I mean nothing left to the imagination anymore.Nothing people wont discuss about their sexual predilections.But if a couple of women out there arent liberated yet,which I doubt,this book isn't a champion for women liberation,sexual or otherwise.The female character is a sexual play thing for Mr Grey.For him to teach her and show her this is what she really wants deep down.Not for him to ask her what is it that she would like.He tells her.


As to your points as far as the sex involved in the books I didnt read them,only 2 excerpts,and that was enough.But here is the point I was trying to make about collage guys and rape and the idea that this book perpetuates an abusive view of women I will defer to women who have read the book and have deeper insight then I do...


‘Fifty Shades’ of a Bad Relationship" ~

I find the interest in the Fifty Shades trilogy to be distressing, especially for women. I fear that Christian and Anastasia’s relationship will be viewed as the romantic ideal for women.There are four issues throughout the trilogy that bother me, and make me question how women perceive personal relationships as they read these novels: Anastasia’s insecurity, Christian’s controlling nature, Anastasia’s refusal to eat enough, and the couple’s marriage.Throughout each book in the Fifty Shades trilogy, I noticed that the author portrayed Anastasia as a character with very little self-esteem. Christian stalks, intimidates, and isolates Anastasia. What does she do in response? She manages her behavior to keep peace in her relationship with Christian. This is a habit often used by women who are being abused. Why does Anastasia stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t view her as an independent person? Because she has low self-esteem. The author also makes it clear that Anastasia only feels attractive when Christian says she is, and when he patronizes her, she internalizes everything he says as truth.
Before entering in their relationship, Anastasia must sign a contract stating that she will take a form of birth control, exercise with a trainer, sleep at least eight hours a night, and only eat from a list of foods Christian approves. What’s saddening, besides the fact that Anastasia signs the contract, is that she doesn’t make any of her own terms on the contract—Christian has full control of her life.Christian and Anastasia’s marriage seems to be based on desperation and insecurity—not the first attributes that come to one’s mind when thinking about a healthy marriage. Christian storms out of the house with anger when he finds out Anastasia is unexpectedly pregnant. A woman shouldn’t fear her husband when finding out she’s pregnant, even in the worst life circumstances. Christian and Anastasia’s marriage make it seem like emotional abuse from a spouse is acceptable as long as he or she is great in bed. That’s not exactly my definition of romance.Mostly, I worry that women reading these books will think it’s normal to base their wellbeing and self-esteem on another person’s opinion of them. In my opinion, having a relationship based on love and equality is much sexier than one based on co-dependency and fear.
From The Nittany Pride

Jan Moir- Sorry Sisters Theres Nothing Liberating about Mommy Porn-


He {Gray} is a handsome billionaire — aren’t they all? — with ‘expensive and absorbing hobbies’ and a voice which is ‘warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel’...
By page 111 they are in bed together...Later she signs a contract to exercise, diet and be his ‘shaved and waxed’ submissive partner.
Girls, it is as if feminism never happened! And before too long Anastasia is in his Red Room of Pain, a sado-masochistic lair where carefully choreographed punishments and humiliations are carried out on a regular basis. So far, so bad. For had this book been written by a man for men, it would have been derided and dismissed as thrill-seeking, anti-female, pornographic, sexist smut.Stop it, I’m blushing 50 Shades Of Pink. Not about the sex scenes, but by the thought that any woman could be inspired by the enslaved Anastasia, who at one point thinks to herself: ‘Truly I am a marionette and he is the master puppeteer.’ Oh, the shame. How has this happened? Is this sudden and widespread female thirst for bondage and sado-masochistic sexual fantasy a sign that, tired of the struggle for equality, women want to take refuge in being bossed around in the bedroom by a man?...For underneath the spankings and the bondage of Fifty Shades lurks a very conventional romantic narrative. Anastasia is a strong and self-contained young woman who still has inner doubts about herself and her attractiveness. She is a vehicle for the insecurities of millions of women, a conduit for the atavistic desire for a dominant male, not to mention the modern longing for a very rich one to take all the worry away.
For Christian has billions. He buys her fine French lingerie and a laptop, flies her around in his helicopter, lays on the finest things that money can buy. He is a tortured knight in shining armour, one who even scoops up Anastasia in his strong arms when she faints.It’s just an old-fashioned fairytale with added spanks. It is Pretty Woman and 9½ Weeks for a new generation.
And yes, it is pretty awful, but when did that ever matter?

From The Daily Mail

I could go on with other woman who have the same opinion but I wont.I think my point was made in their remarks.

None of this mentions college boys raping girls. You're anti-male if you think college boys go about raping girls without thought, empathy, conscience or sense. It simply isn't the case.

The famous study that brought us that oft-quoted phrase ''1 in 5 college girls are victims of sexual assault'' was started by giving its participants a sheet of questions, with a preface that read ''in answering these questions please remember that what a person does while drunk is not their fault''.

Apparently, it seems, women can drink as much as they like and do as much as they like, whether criminally, sexually or otherwise and this women's group thinks they should face no consequences nor bear any responsibility!

 

[JonahLynx]

None of this mentions college boys raping girls. You're anti-male if you think college boys go about raping girls without thought, empathy, conscience or sense. It simply isn't the case.

Have you been to a US university?

 

[kaylagrl]

None of this mentions college boys raping girls. You're anti-male if you think college boys go about raping girls without thought, empathy, conscience or sense. It simply isn't the case.

The famous study that brought us that oft-quoted phrase ''1 in 5 college girls are victims of sexual assault'' was started by giving its participants a sheet of questions, with a preface that read ''in answering these questions please remember that what a person does while drunk is not their fault''.

Apparently, it seems, women can drink as much as they like and do as much as they like, whether criminally, sexually or otherwise and this women's group thinks they should face no consequences nor bear any responsibility!

Ok I'll try this again since you're missing the point it seems.The book is using a female character that has no self esteem,she isn't sexually liberated by Grey,he tells her what she wants.Its all about how to please him.I didn't state any statistics about rape in collage,but the point is the book is portraying a female as a conquest.That women want this kind of rough sex,secretly they all want it deep down.I did not say ALL collage boys go around raping women.But when women are treated as sexual objects and society backs up that view then men start treating women with disrespect too.

I'm not anti male at all.The law in the US says if a woman says no or stop and you continue that is rape.Whether you're drunk,she's drunk,doesn't matter.No is no,period.What your opinion,my opinion,anyones opinion is doesn't matter.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

Once I find the list of do's and dont's for married couples having sexual intercourse in scripture i'll let you know, especially all your dont's. Until then how about you stop trying to force your personal conviction on others. I don't agree with you, and if I'm wrong well then I guess my future wife and I will take our chances on judgment day. I highly doubt we'd be condemned for a few lengths of silk or handcuffs.

The bible tells you to fulfill your needs, but not to live passionately like the pagans do. It tells you that a gentle spirit is very precious to God. It tells married couples to live righteously, and to not be lewd. So far all the arguments against Gods word here is "It doesnt hurt anyone though", which is in no way Godly whatsoever. If God hates perversion, and truly wants His people to live righteously, not living to please themselves in lewd ways, why would you believe Hes totally okay with such a thing? You should consider how God feels about what your doing, and not what you can get away with.

Not hurting anyone is not biblical at all, and does not make it okay by God.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

I love how it's been mostly guys arguing in this thread about "porn for women" and "women's sexual liberation."

Just making an observation...

Actually I think youre looking too much into the word woman. And no one anywhere said the word womens sexual liberation. The thread is more about pornography without images. Though the title porn for women could have been different, its really more about how this book and books like it are just as lewd and sinful as porn with images, and that no one who believes in God should be okay with it. It really has nothing to do with women if you read it, and more to do with sexual perversion.

 

[kaylagrl]

Never once did I say it was cool to watch pornography in this thread. I'm saying if a couple enjoys a bit of kink in their marriage then that is for them and there isn't an issue to be made of it.

But the thread isn't about what people do in a married relationship.What we are talking about is the book being porn for women.Which it is.And the warped relationship that the main characters have,as I explained in some of my last comments.Its not liberating to women and it treats them like sexual objects the exact same way porn for men does.That,I believe,is the point the OP was making.They can certainly correct me if Im wrong.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

Haha am I the only one who didnt take women to be the main focus of this thread? I have not talked about women or responded to a single comment about them. I do think the thread would have been better off not having the word women in it and instead being about how romance and sexual novels can be pornographic too, but even with the word women I cannot really remember anyone really even talking about women. The most that I can remember is someone saying "If your wife wants it, shouldnt you do it?", which is not biblical.

 

[Human]

Ok I'll try this again since you're missing the point it seems.The book is using a female character that has no self esteem,she isn't sexually liberated by Grey,he tells her what she wants.Its all about how to please him.I didn't state any statistics about rape in collage,but the point is the book is portraying a female as a conquest.That women want this kind of rough sex,secretly they all want it deep down.I did not say ALL collage boys go around raping women.But when women are treated as sexual objects and society backs up that view then men start treating women with disrespect too.

I'm not anti male at all.The law in the US says if a woman says no or stop and you continue that is rape.Whether you're drunk,she's drunk,doesn't matter.No is no,period.What your opinion,my opinion,anyones opinion is doesn't matter.

Right, but saying ''no'' and a man continuing isn't the same as saying ''yes'' drunk and regretting it the next day. If a woman drinks herself to a point where she makes bad decisions, but is still able to make them, that's her own responsibility.

 

[kaylagrl]

Right, but saying ''no'' and a man continuing isn't the same as saying ''yes'' drunk and regretting it the next day. If a woman drinks herself to a point where she makes bad decisions, but is still able to make them, that's her own responsibility.

I dont drink or agree with it.Im not sure according to the law where that grey area lies.No pun intended.Too many bad decisions,as you say,are made while drunk that cant be undone.So I avoid drinking all together.

 

[Stephen63]

Ok I'll try this again since you're missing the point it seems.The book is using a female character that has no self esteem,she isn't sexually liberated by Grey,he tells her what she wants.Its all about how to please him.I didn't state any statistics about rape in collage,but the point is the book is portraying a female as a conquest.That women want this kind of rough sex,secretly they all want it deep down.I did not say ALL collage boys go around raping women.But when women are treated as sexual objects and society backs up that view then men start treating women with disrespect too.

I'm not anti male at all.The law in the US says if a woman says no or stop and you continue that is rape.Whether you're drunk,she's drunk,doesn't matter.No is no,period.What your opinion,my opinion,anyones opinion is doesn't matter.

He's not missing the point, he's shunning it.

 

[Tintin]

I think this calls for a Charlie the Unicorn meme.

 

[LionEyes]

Actually I think youre looking too much into the word woman. And no one anywhere said the word womens sexual liberation.

Human said something along the lines of 50 Shades = women's sexual liberation much earlier in the thread. Also, 50 Shades is very, very heavily marketed towards women. Also, 50 Shades has been touted in the media as that smutty book which sexually liberated women.

Right, but saying ''no'' and a man continuing isn't the same as saying ''yes'' drunk and regretting it the next day. If a woman drinks herself to a point where she makes bad decisions, but is still able to make them, that's her own responsibility.

This thread is about 50 Shades of Grey, not your personal vendetta against college rape statistics. In 50 Shades of Grey, the heroine did not merely regret sex after a night of partying. While completely sober, she said "no" to the guy who was stalking her and who broke into her house. She struggled against him. He threatened her and continued anyway. Completely different circumstances.

I second kaylagrl's assessment. This "book" romanticizes abuse and stalking. The heroine is literally treated as the property of her husband. And he's so trusting of her that he stalks her everywhere, has her followed, demands to know where she is at all times, and controls everything in her life down to her medical decisions and her attire. If you want a piece of literature that liberates women's sexuality, how about you not pick the one where the heroine is an incompetent, love-struck fool who has exactly zero say about the relationship or anything else on account of her controlling, manipulative jerk of a "lover" having completely stripped her of any semblance of independence. Yeah, that's about as "liberating" as a supermax prison.

Also pick one that's ... you know ... well written.

 

[Nautilus]

To be far while the book might not have a liberating storyline in regards to the treatment of the main character it did open more women up to the notion of kink and bdsm. I dont think many women if any view the situation in the book as desirable.

 

[kaylagrl]

To be far while the book might not have a liberating storyline in regards to the treatment of the main character it did open more women up to the notion of kink and bdsm. I dont think many women if any view the situation in the book as desirable.

Is this type of fetish not known about? I doubt it.Shoot, CSI had episodes on this a couple years ago.And "furries" which is completely hilarious to me.None the less,learned about it all on CSI.

 

[Ugly]

Is this type of fetish not known about? I doubt it.Shoot, CSI had episodes on this a couple years ago.And "furries" which is completely hilarious to me.None the less,learned about it all on CSI.

He did say 'more' women. And to most people outside the porn or bdsm it's usually viewed as abusive, taboo and disgusting. I think the point is it tries to make these behaviors less taboo and more common or even desirable, more so than exposing an unheard of concept.

 

[Nautilus]

Is this type of fetish not known about? I doubt it.Shoot, CSI had episodes on this a couple years ago.And "furries" which is completely hilarious to me.None the less,learned about it all on CSI.

Is CSI still on air? I mean like new epsiodes? I only ever watched the Miami one.

 

[Tintin]

Is CSI still on air? I mean like new epsiodes? I only ever watched the Miami one.

I only ever really watched the original, but I've seen a few episodes of Miami and New York. Some of those were eye-opening or maybe I'm just sheltered.