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I had a discussion with a friend from church the other day regarding standards we as Christians should set for ourselves when it comes to becoming romantically involved. Thought I'd share it here and see what you guys have to say Forgive me if something similar to (or exactly like) this has already been posted before!
I suppose my question is, have our standards become too high?
Now before anyone jumps down my throat, please note *I think it is very important to not settle when it comes to significant others. By this I mean, if we are living in Christ, for Christ, we should of course not become unequally yoked and that we should be seeking to glorify God in everything we do.
You don't have to agree with me. I'll still love ya.
But I can't help but wonder if we have taken the list of things we are looking for in a potential spouse and tacked on, oh I don't know, a few extra 'requirements' that we could do without?
By a few, I only mean one or two. Or ten.
For example, my wonderful friend whom I love dearly stated that above all, her future husband should love God and commit himself to Christ's service every day. Bingo. She then went on to say that he has to have a well-paying job to support the family they will one day have together, he must come from a big family himself, he must be willing to remain in one town or city for the rest of his life (she is not a fan of moving), etc. etc. etc. He should be tall, dark and handsome, too, and have the exact same taste in music as her, and love the movies she loves, and oh, she wouldn't hate it if he had a British accent.
I think it is wise and healthy to know what you are looking for in a spouse and to stand firm in your beliefs, but I do think we (I am certainly guilty of this myself) have allowed ourselves to get carried away in dreaming up Prince Charming or Cinderella. No one is perfect. We're not always going to love absolutely everything about each other. And does it really matter all that much if someone doesn't share my taste in music?
I think some qualities that we are looking for are deal-breakers. For instance, if I'm going to get married, I'm going to marry a man who absolutely loves God with his whole heart, and who is constantly seeking God. I am a firm believer that the healthiest of relationships have Christ in the center, with both people encouraging and pushing one another towards God.
However, these past few years I have been able to do away with several other "deal-breakers" I thought I couldn't ever give up. I thought I was the kind of person who would never move away from home, either. But God has had different plans for me in the past, and this past year has definitely taught me what it means to be obedient to His will for my life.
I think I have been especially picky when it comes to physical traits. While I can't deny that physical attraction is important, I think we can all agree that the heart should come first?
I'm still learning to let go of some of the things I think I want/need and give it to God, and that requires a shift in perspective (and perhaps some priorities) every now and then!
I suppose my question is, have our standards become too high?
Now before anyone jumps down my throat, please note *I think it is very important to not settle when it comes to significant others. By this I mean, if we are living in Christ, for Christ, we should of course not become unequally yoked and that we should be seeking to glorify God in everything we do.
You don't have to agree with me. I'll still love ya.
But I can't help but wonder if we have taken the list of things we are looking for in a potential spouse and tacked on, oh I don't know, a few extra 'requirements' that we could do without?
By a few, I only mean one or two. Or ten.
For example, my wonderful friend whom I love dearly stated that above all, her future husband should love God and commit himself to Christ's service every day. Bingo. She then went on to say that he has to have a well-paying job to support the family they will one day have together, he must come from a big family himself, he must be willing to remain in one town or city for the rest of his life (she is not a fan of moving), etc. etc. etc. He should be tall, dark and handsome, too, and have the exact same taste in music as her, and love the movies she loves, and oh, she wouldn't hate it if he had a British accent.
I think it is wise and healthy to know what you are looking for in a spouse and to stand firm in your beliefs, but I do think we (I am certainly guilty of this myself) have allowed ourselves to get carried away in dreaming up Prince Charming or Cinderella. No one is perfect. We're not always going to love absolutely everything about each other. And does it really matter all that much if someone doesn't share my taste in music?
I think some qualities that we are looking for are deal-breakers. For instance, if I'm going to get married, I'm going to marry a man who absolutely loves God with his whole heart, and who is constantly seeking God. I am a firm believer that the healthiest of relationships have Christ in the center, with both people encouraging and pushing one another towards God.
However, these past few years I have been able to do away with several other "deal-breakers" I thought I couldn't ever give up. I thought I was the kind of person who would never move away from home, either. But God has had different plans for me in the past, and this past year has definitely taught me what it means to be obedient to His will for my life.
I think I have been especially picky when it comes to physical traits. While I can't deny that physical attraction is important, I think we can all agree that the heart should come first?
I'm still learning to let go of some of the things I think I want/need and give it to God, and that requires a shift in perspective (and perhaps some priorities) every now and then!