Q
This is not love. Whatever you are falling for in these men, is something that you are projecting and allowing them into your life which they do not deserve. I had a girl fall for me once who held out this emotional feeling for a year. But we did not know each other, and it was not because I understood how she felt or why. Now I could have exploited her, and used this relationship, but I did not.
Self knowledge is an important thing. Knowing someone gives you attention is not love, it is you devalue yourself so much, that just getting attention is better than none. You need to work on what you value in yourself, what you do well, or enjoy.
To get love from another, they have to earn that love, and it has to be with a focus that deserves intimacy. It is easy to break the rules and just get involved, but that is just a mess, and not special, it is like selling yourself to anyone who comes along, which devalues them as well as yourself. The issue with intimacy is the rules by which you deliver it, is also the value your partner will consider it also. So if you devalue yourself, then that is what they also do in return.
The lie is when you say, but no one will give me attention then. That is never the case, it is just you do not yet value what you are and provide something for others to participate in which both of you value.
Self knowledge is an important thing. Knowing someone gives you attention is not love, it is you devalue yourself so much, that just getting attention is better than none. You need to work on what you value in yourself, what you do well, or enjoy.
To get love from another, they have to earn that love, and it has to be with a focus that deserves intimacy. It is easy to break the rules and just get involved, but that is just a mess, and not special, it is like selling yourself to anyone who comes along, which devalues them as well as yourself. The issue with intimacy is the rules by which you deliver it, is also the value your partner will consider it also. So if you devalue yourself, then that is what they also do in return.
The lie is when you say, but no one will give me attention then. That is never the case, it is just you do not yet value what you are and provide something for others to participate in which both of you value.