The marriage relationship is mirrored after Christ's relationship with the church. Christ does not force us into submission, the husband should not force his wife into submission. Christ washed her feet, fed and clothed her, and was willing to die for her. If my husband loved me like Christ loves His Bride, I would want to submit to him, and the opposite is also true. If my husband leads me to do wrong I will not submit to that, because my first obligation is to God before anyone else. If he is leading biblically, I will submit to him cheerfully and willingly. Wives are to submit to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord. If it doesn't fit or match the relationship Christ has with His church, then it is not fitting to do so.
Now no one is even perfect in their relationship with God, so no one can expect you to be perfect with them either. If someone doesn't take the trash out one day, or is too tired to do the dishes until morning, does not give the other person a license to say "Well since you're not doing your part I don't have to do my part either." But if they have an attitude of never doing their part in the relationship, that should match Christ's relationship with His church, for example, I've seen people literally treat others worse than their dog, I would not respect such a person.
I'm tired, some of this may not make sense in the morning, lol.