Christianese that just needs to stop
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In an attempt to get this back on topic, here are mine:
"Praise the Lord," when it's used as a filler in conversation (instead of saying, um, erm, or simply just pausing).
"I was driving to the gas station, Praise the Lord, when a squirrel ran out in front of my car!"
"Can I get a witness," when people are simply trying to confirm that others are listening and paying attention, or in an attempt to manipulate a greater response than what one has already received. I especially dislike this from the pulpit.
"And then God delivered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the fiery furnace! (pause) Can I get a witness?" (Amen's from the crowd).
Calling anyone a Pharisee or Pharisaical--Basically, this is just pettiness. It's the "you don't agree with my interpretation, so I'm going to pretend that you're the 'villain' of various gospel stories."
"You know, only a Pharisee claims that women should only wear dresses. Jesus cares about my heart, not my jeans."
"False teacher"--This is often another attempt to put people in their spiritual place.
"Women shouldn't wear pants!"
"The bible doesn't prohibit women from wearing pants."
"You're a false teacher. Apparently you haven't read the third book of Hemetaziah. That explains exactly what a woman should wear!"
"He might be your Savior, but is He your Lord?"--This is often used to imply that a person might know Jesus, but just not in the right way or the right amount.
"I've noticed you've been wearing pants to church lately, Helen. (pointed glance) I know Jesus is your Savior, but is He your Lord??"
"Born again," when it's used as some kind of "signal" that a person is a true believer.
"Have you been born again?"
"I am a Christian."
"Yeah, but have you been born again?"
"I believe Jesus is Lord."
"Yeah, but have you been born again?
"Worshiping idols"--Again, this is all about judging someone's Christian practice.
"I've noticed that you have a crucifix on your wall."
"Yes it reminds me of Jesus's sacrifice for me on the cross."
"Really? Because the bible tells us not to worship idols."
"Praise the Lord," when it's used as a filler in conversation (instead of saying, um, erm, or simply just pausing).
"I was driving to the gas station, Praise the Lord, when a squirrel ran out in front of my car!"
"Can I get a witness," when people are simply trying to confirm that others are listening and paying attention, or in an attempt to manipulate a greater response than what one has already received. I especially dislike this from the pulpit.
"And then God delivered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the fiery furnace! (pause) Can I get a witness?" (Amen's from the crowd).
Calling anyone a Pharisee or Pharisaical--Basically, this is just pettiness. It's the "you don't agree with my interpretation, so I'm going to pretend that you're the 'villain' of various gospel stories."
"You know, only a Pharisee claims that women should only wear dresses. Jesus cares about my heart, not my jeans."
"False teacher"--This is often another attempt to put people in their spiritual place.
"Women shouldn't wear pants!"
"The bible doesn't prohibit women from wearing pants."
"You're a false teacher. Apparently you haven't read the third book of Hemetaziah. That explains exactly what a woman should wear!"
"He might be your Savior, but is He your Lord?"--This is often used to imply that a person might know Jesus, but just not in the right way or the right amount.
"I've noticed you've been wearing pants to church lately, Helen. (pointed glance) I know Jesus is your Savior, but is He your Lord??"
"Born again," when it's used as some kind of "signal" that a person is a true believer.
"Have you been born again?"
"I am a Christian."
"Yeah, but have you been born again?"
"I believe Jesus is Lord."
"Yeah, but have you been born again?
"Worshiping idols"--Again, this is all about judging someone's Christian practice.
"I've noticed that you have a crucifix on your wall."
"Yes it reminds me of Jesus's sacrifice for me on the cross."
"Really? Because the bible tells us not to worship idols."
L
When I wasn't a Christian, I sort of found it enduring to hear a person speak "christianese," and in all honesty, I admired those who weren't afraid to show what they believe, even if they used typical Christian phrases.
In the area where we used to live, there was this man who would dress up in a white robe and take a cross and stand on a three mile bridge that crossed the bay. He didn't yell at passing cars, he just held up that cross toward the traffic.
On different occasions with different people I'd hear comments like, "what a nut job," or "crazy Christians." But I never felt that way about him. I admired him for his conviction...(even as a non-Christian,) I knew what that meant.
People can get offended at the ways that Christians speak, and sometimes how we/they behave. But I can tell you one thing, the image of that guy on that bridge stuck with me so much that I'm writing about it ten years later.
Certain things that people said to me over the years stuck with me too.
I think what's more important is the heart behind what's being said or done.
People can become so concerned over how to phrase a sentence in a way that will not "offend" or sound cliche that they actually might just remain silent, and that might just be worse.
In the area where we used to live, there was this man who would dress up in a white robe and take a cross and stand on a three mile bridge that crossed the bay. He didn't yell at passing cars, he just held up that cross toward the traffic.
On different occasions with different people I'd hear comments like, "what a nut job," or "crazy Christians." But I never felt that way about him. I admired him for his conviction...(even as a non-Christian,) I knew what that meant.
People can get offended at the ways that Christians speak, and sometimes how we/they behave. But I can tell you one thing, the image of that guy on that bridge stuck with me so much that I'm writing about it ten years later.
Certain things that people said to me over the years stuck with me too.
I think what's more important is the heart behind what's being said or done.
People can become so concerned over how to phrase a sentence in a way that will not "offend" or sound cliche that they actually might just remain silent, and that might just be worse.
J
We shouldn't be so critical of speech syntax. Sometimes there are simply failures to communicate, people don't mean what you read, or things not worded quite as best, on hindsight. From church bulletins,
- Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
- Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
- The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
- On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: GOD IS GOOD; Dr. Hargreaves is better.
- Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
- The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
- If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.
- Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”
- Don’t miss this Saturday’s exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.
- We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
- A worm welcome to all who have come today.
- Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
- During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
- Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
- Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
- Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
- The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
- The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
- The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
- The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
- A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
- Today’s Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.
- Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”
- Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
- Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
- The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
- Ushers will eat latecomers.
- Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
V
Dignifying a deliberately inflammatory and crass opinion with a reasoned response is much like wrestling a pig, which I advise against. You get filthy, and the pig loves it.
Didn't work the first time. Why make a second doomed-to-failure attempt?
Oh. I forgot. You're the wrestling pig. Never mind.
Didn't work the first time. Why make a second doomed-to-failure attempt?
Oh. I forgot. You're the wrestling pig. Never mind.
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V
Oh how far we've strayed. Pornography streams into home across Western Civilization and many of our so-called "leaders" dress like this on television:
^ I can only guess how much a diamond necklace like that costs.
^ I can only guess how much a diamond necklace like that costs.
... monthly.
Along with the Platinum #2 hair dye ...
... for the wig, since I'm certain that ain't her hair.
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J
I got a million of 'em. You can share a few. Fine with me.
D
Remember good people 
1 Corinthians 15:10....By the grace of God, I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:10....By the grace of God, I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain.
when he spoke of faith without works in comparison to what Paul said here of his labor through grace
1 Cr 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am:
and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain;
but I laboured more abundantly than they all:
yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand,
and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
From the Miscellaneous Forum:
http://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/113117-correct-grammar-spelling.html
http://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/113117-correct-grammar-spelling.html
A
