Escaping online dating hell
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First things first. Read the catfish thread:
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/85202-o-o-internet-catfishing.html
The Bible doesn't say a lot about dating and courtship. Dating especially is a completely foreign idea to Biblical cultures. But some good common sense ideas would be:
Decide beforehand how far of a distance is too long distance. This is an individual call, depends on how much you feel like you need to be physically together, how feasible and practical that is, and how much you are willing to invest in it (plane tickets to the other side of the world are expensive).
Be upfront about what you're looking for and what your boundaries are. This could backfire as some people might take your boundaries or standards as a challenge they want to conquer, but trying to please everyone out there only means you'll have to wade through a whole lot of people that you aren't interested in.
Safety first. First meetings should be in a public place with your own transportation. If you feel uneasy meeting this person, ask a friend to go with you and sit at the next table over so that you have some backup.
Be choosy. The goal of dating is to find someone you can ultimately marry. You aren't required to give everyone interested a chance just because they want one.
Involve family, friends, and community- Though difficult over the internet, a healthy relationship would be one where you both become part of each other's already existing lives not one where you both abandon your present activities to spend lots of time alone together. And family will tell the truth about you and see things you don't, and everyone feels more free to be themselves in a group of friends they are already a part of and accepted in.
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/85202-o-o-internet-catfishing.html
The Bible doesn't say a lot about dating and courtship. Dating especially is a completely foreign idea to Biblical cultures. But some good common sense ideas would be:
Decide beforehand how far of a distance is too long distance. This is an individual call, depends on how much you feel like you need to be physically together, how feasible and practical that is, and how much you are willing to invest in it (plane tickets to the other side of the world are expensive).
Be upfront about what you're looking for and what your boundaries are. This could backfire as some people might take your boundaries or standards as a challenge they want to conquer, but trying to please everyone out there only means you'll have to wade through a whole lot of people that you aren't interested in.
Safety first. First meetings should be in a public place with your own transportation. If you feel uneasy meeting this person, ask a friend to go with you and sit at the next table over so that you have some backup.
Be choosy. The goal of dating is to find someone you can ultimately marry. You aren't required to give everyone interested a chance just because they want one.
Involve family, friends, and community- Though difficult over the internet, a healthy relationship would be one where you both become part of each other's already existing lives not one where you both abandon your present activities to spend lots of time alone together. And family will tell the truth about you and see things you don't, and everyone feels more free to be themselves in a group of friends they are already a part of and accepted in.
S
Back in the olden days it wasn't called dating...it was that you were "calling on" someone or courting them. Jesus said we are to call on Him. It is an action based on affection. If you called on Jesus and nothing followed up with it, it would be kind of pointless because what follows "calling on" someone, is the pursuit of relationship based on shared experiences.
I think we are to follow Jesus example and really get to know someone thru time spent and the sharing of hearts. I think the online world is a bit risky as it is so easy to misrepresent yourself and, given that we live in a fallen world....people do frequently. Even on so called Christian dating sites.
My advice to you is.....don't force it, allow yourself to be led and "all these things will be added unto you".
I think we are to follow Jesus example and really get to know someone thru time spent and the sharing of hearts. I think the online world is a bit risky as it is so easy to misrepresent yourself and, given that we live in a fallen world....people do frequently. Even on so called Christian dating sites.
My advice to you is.....don't force it, allow yourself to be led and "all these things will be added unto you".
Z
I saw no indication that the OP was under any kind of pain or hurt. I also retain that humor is necessary in order to keep the mood light and relieve tension which I think is important in any situation outside of grief. There was no intention of making fun of the OP, no insults being hurled, and no personal attack being made.
I understand it sucks being single, and I understand looking for advice, but some people take things far more seriously on this site than necessary, and it's my attempt on occasion to keep things light hearted, so people can take a breather, and relax rather than focusing so hard on their problems.
I understand it sucks being single, and I understand looking for advice, but some people take things far more seriously on this site than necessary, and it's my attempt on occasion to keep things light hearted, so people can take a breather, and relax rather than focusing so hard on their problems.
S
I will never join an online dating service again! Not knocking them for other people. There were times dinner with a wolf in sheep clothing became more than once...I was lucky I didn't get assaulted! I strongly don't feel...God will send me my true love on a dating site. I just left them alone...then I joined CC...and its the only site I'm a part of now! And I have made the greatest friends of my life here. God called me here I know! 
BTW...thank all of you here! I love you!
BTW...thank all of you here! I love you! 
Wait, is that, Go Directly To Hell, or Just Die?
Not that I'm asking for any particular reason.
But if the only risk is death, maybe I'll take a gamble...
(Just for the record--for the past 12 years, I've been part of dating in just about every aspect you can imagine: set-ups, blind dates, a real-life dating service, 3 different online dating sites, been asked out by co-workers...)
All I can say is, from my own experience, romance, and the pursuit of it, can be painful. Very painful.
But honestly, just about anything worthy in life means you're going to go through some, or even a lot, of pain.
How much is it worth to any of us?
Not that I'm asking for any particular reason.
But if the only risk is death, maybe I'll take a gamble...
(Just for the record--for the past 12 years, I've been part of dating in just about every aspect you can imagine: set-ups, blind dates, a real-life dating service, 3 different online dating sites, been asked out by co-workers...)
All I can say is, from my own experience, romance, and the pursuit of it, can be painful. Very painful.
But honestly, just about anything worthy in life means you're going to go through some, or even a lot, of pain.
How much is it worth to any of us?
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I've been in the dating game so long, I'm thinking I'm just going to ask Zao to zap me with that Nerf and just put me out of my misery.
(Seriously... the good thing is that I've had the privilege of talking to some really interesting people along the way. And learning a few good, albeit, sometimes tough, lessons.)
(Seriously... the good thing is that I've had the privilege of talking to some really interesting people along the way. And learning a few good, albeit, sometimes tough, lessons.)
Why, thank you so much, kind sir. Arrrr... But what if I be stealin' yer dark chocolate? (Actually, I'm guilty of being a milk chocolate maiden myself, so ye need not worry.)
Alas, it just could be that maybe I'm doing everything wrong, and that's why nothing has worked out! But I'm very thankful to have met some pretty cool people (nudge, nudge) along the way.
Arrrr... But what if I be stealin' yer dark chocolate? (Actually, I'm guilty of being a milk chocolate maiden myself, so ye need not worry.) Alas, it just could be that maybe I'm doing everything wrong, and that's why nothing has worked out!
But I'm very thankful to have met some pretty cool people (nudge, nudge) along the way.
C
I think online dating is fine as a way to meet new people you wouldn't get much of a chance to meet other wise. I am not a huge fan of it personally, although I am on a dating site currently. It makes me feel a little superficial because as much as you dont want to judge someone by their pictures i find myself doing it. We all have our own standard of what we are attracted to and sometimes you can't realise until you are in person so you just have to go with what you are looking at.
On the other hand i am not a huge fan of online relationships, and there is a difference. I don't mind meeting someone online but it would be with a view to take things offline and meet up in the real world. You can't really tell how you would click with someone until you meet up so for me it would be pretty important to meet up sooner rather than later. Imagine meeting someone you liked at a bar, or at church and then only ever arranging to meet up at that location for the next few years, it wouldnt really work right, so why would you do the same onine. I appreciate that online you are more likely to meet someone who might live very far away... which obviously adds complications to meeting up. But for me, i am looking to meet someone to share life with where i am at, so meeting up in real life would still be a priority.
As for whether it is unbiblical, i dont think there is any guidance specifically for online/offline, but certainly take the same approach you would in real life, guard your heart, set your standard of purity and be accountable if necessary and approach it with God as opposed to instead of.
Happy dating.
