to date or not to date a non-Christian

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
walkOnWater

walkOnWater

Junior Member
#1
Sep 11, 2013
60
38
18
#1
when u've made up your mind to protect yourself from pain and only date those with the same beliefs...
why is it that it's also the time you meet unbelievers who expresses their interest in you...

i know some people who tries to bring people to church and HOPE to make a Christian out of them.... but doesn't it mean you also have the wrong motive?

would you? or would you not date an unbeliever?
 
mochi

mochi

Senior Member
#2
May 26, 2015
923
38
28
#2
I meet and know non christian before.. he was so kind, he was so mature, and he has everything that woman could think of man ;) i go out with him few times.. i cant bring him to church with that kind of motive too.. no and never.. lets say he agree go to church, agree baptism, etc just to cover things up so you may think he already saved but imagine if you married later?? who can guarantee he didnt back to his previous religion and ask you to follow him??
its not easy to remove that feeling.. but at that time i decided not to accept his offer to be his gf (he even already has plan about marriage before i answer his question about bf gf thing --> maybe he already know i like him and he think i wouldnt reject him) well, i admit that i'm not wise enough at that time (doesnt mean that now i'm wise too.. lol).. -_- short story i reject him and it was like in hell.. i cant move on and i'm questioning myself is it the right thing to do.. am i regret it?? my friend didnt help me much at that time.. even she is christian she said that i shouldnt lying with my heart.. ugh.. makes thing more complicated.. lol.. but i still have some friends that pray for me.. well, after time goes by i feel that i'm okk now and completely okk.. i'm not regret and i glad about my decision at that time even it hurt me a lot... hehehe.. he now married with someone happily and i wish they happily ever after :)

If you really love that person, you can stay away and pray and make target time for that person to accept Jesus.. but dont give him/her hint that you ONLY want date a christian.. but you can push him/her smoothly to get close to God.. while waiting dont focus only for him/her.. If no sign from that person to change you should move on and forget.. its not healthy and useless..
It would be better if both of you MATURE in Christ ^_^ hth
 
Last edited:
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Do a search on the topic, there are already many threads on this subject.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#4
Mar 26, 2014
4,414
2,405
113
#4
Ugly said:
Do a search on the topic, there are already many threads on this subject.
Click to expand...
And the consensus is don't do it. You're almost guaranteed to end up with a broken heart.
 
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#5
Apr 7, 2014
25,331
13,287
113
58
#5
2 Corinthians 6:14 - Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
 
S

sunnysky31

Guest
#6
#6
A short season of sin is not worth a lifetime of pain.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#7
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#7
walkOnWater said:
when u've made up your mind to protect yourself from pain and only date those with the same beliefs...
why is it that it's also the time you meet unbelievers who expresses their interest in you...

i know some people who tries to bring people to church and HOPE to make a Christian out of them.... but doesn't it mean you also have the wrong motive?

would you? or would you not date an unbeliever?
Click to expand...
Why would you want to date a non Christian? Please tell me. The reason why most do is so that THEY can be the ones to change the nonbeliever. Not God. It doesn't work that way. Where's the rock for you two when things are at its worse? No good comes out of a believer/non believer relationship. Just read about the stories people have posted here.
 
Last edited:
Calmador

Calmador

Senior Member
#8
Jun 23, 2011
948
43
28
#8
walkOnWater said:
when u've made up your mind to protect yourself from pain and only date those with the same beliefs...
why is it that it's also the time you meet unbelievers who expresses their interest in you...

i know some people who tries to bring people to church and HOPE to make a Christian out of them.... but doesn't it mean you also have the wrong motive?

would you? or would you not date an unbeliever?
Click to expand...
I'm not sure what the point of your question is... but if your thinking of dating an unbeliever for marriage in the future... Here's your answer...


1 Corinthians 7:39
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.


However, if you think dating a non-believer without marriage in mind. I'd think that's a waste of time and just looking for trouble... the unbeliever may be looking for something serious someday and your putting your heart in a vulnerable position where you can fall for your date. Why fall for a non-believer?

That being said, no... it's a terrible idea to date a non-believer. But, I understand that it could be tempting sometimes. Just don't do it... it's a bad move.
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#9
#9
The stories are not always in favor of marrying only Christians.

My sister married a Christian guy from her church, 5 years later got divorced because he went back to drugs and alcohol. Then married another Christian guy who turned out to be a bully and slowly wore her down and now 20 years later is going through another divorce.

My other sister also married a Christian guy and is enduring an unhappy marriage because of his mind games and she even suffered a bout of mental illness from it.

Then there is me, also being divorced by my wife this year and i met her by being selective to only Christian women.

I have no example in my own life that this works, ironically, my parents have been happily married 50 years and my dad was not Christian when they married.... well my mom was not all that serious about it either but then drew closer to God years later and my dad happily followed, no manipulation, he was happy to.

I think the lesson is that only God truly knows a persons heart, so trust God not some 'label' of faith.
 
S

sassylady

Guest
#10
#10
No way. I've had enough problems dating men who professed to be Christian.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#11
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,956
113
#11
I personally don't think it is a good idea to date a non-Christian. Then if you "fall" in love, you have the choice of ending the relationship or marrying a non-Christian if he persists in not believing in Christ.

However, a friend of mine that had been a missionary to Japan came back to Canada, and all the men her age in the church were married. She met a man, a non-Christian, and she witnessed to him and he got saved. They married and have been happily together, serving God for at least 30 years. So miracles can happen. But only if you really focus on finding a good person, and making sure they truly believe before you go deeper in the relationship.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#12
#12
walkOnWater,
let me introduce myself
by telling what I'm thinking
about this subject.
For me, I won't take the risk!
It's more simple that both are Christians.
If you trust God, he'll take care of you
and don't forget that Jesus decides for you...
He chooses the right person for you and
the rest of the life until dying..

 1 Tessalonians 4.jpg
 
FancyNancy

FancyNancy

Banned
#13
May 30, 2015
1,179
7
0
#13
walkOnWater said:
when u've made up your mind to protect yourself from pain and only date those with the same beliefs...
why is it that it's also the time you meet unbelievers who expresses their interest in you...
Click to expand...

The answer is that the enemy of your soul wants you to renege on your decision to do what pleases God, so he will immediately rush in with all sorts of things to make you veer off the course you have set for yourself. His goal is to shipwreck you.

Don't do it!

Recognize the devil's machinations against your resolve to follow after God's word and His will for your life and make him slink away in defeat!

i know some people who tries to bring people to church and HOPE to make a Christian out of them.... but doesn't it mean you also have the wrong motive?
Click to expand...
Yes, that is indeed the wrong motive.
 
L

LiJo

Guest
#14
#14
I wouldn't date a non believer! I made this mistake in my marriage and will not make that mistake twice!
 
S

Starsdance

Guest
#15
#15
My friends and relatives often introduced me some non-Christian, arranged us to meet. At first, I dated with some of them, but after that, I stopped. I think there are not many common topics between us, and we have different value and view to life and world. Maybe you hope to evangelize to him, yes, we should preach the gospel to them, it is our duty. But dont influenced by their behaviors and thoughts. In a word, we should better date with Christian, the touching of love from holy spirit is the most important thing. God bless you:D
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#16
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#16
Honestly if I was single I wouldnt date a person who didn't at least believe in God. I went down that path before it's way to hard.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#17
#17
I'm not apt to dating right now, so instead I will say that I've been with both non-believers and believers, and the former were more peaceable and stable individuals. This is not to imply it was "right" or proper with me being of the faith, nor is it a blanket statement to all potential romantic ventures. People are fallible with and without God, and there is no perfect love between people. That's all I'm saying.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#18
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#18
I'll add a question to a question. Would you date someone that isn't a believer, but is starting to go church and is intrigued by the idea of it if both parties involved already have feelings for each other?
 
FancyNancy

FancyNancy

Banned
#19
May 30, 2015
1,179
7
0
#19
jsr1221 said:
I'll add a question to a question. Would you date someone that isn't a believer, but is starting to go church and is intrigued by the idea of it if both parties involved already have feelings for each other?
Click to expand...
That's still a no-no according to God's word. There is no justification for it.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#20
#20
jsr1221 said:
I'll add a question to a question. Would you date someone that isn't a believer, but is starting to go church and is intrigued by the idea of it if both parties involved already have feelings for each other?
Click to expand...
I'd be ready to pull the trigger on dumping them, and it would be a long engagement if anything came of it. I don't want a faux Christian that's going to church just to attempt to appease me. That's not how that works.

FancyNancy said:
That's still a no-no according to God's word. There is no justification for it.
Click to expand...
Marriage is a no-no. Dating isn't, although if it doesn't lead to marriage I'm not sure what you call it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.