Sound words, but again, what if the thing you WOULD share with your spouse is not something your spouse is interested in sharing with YOU? Where is your outlet then? Would that thing then be something you'd share with a friend?
I'm feeling a little like the devil's advocate here but for all the noble expression of loyalty and devotion to your spouse one gives, what if that same devotion is not returned? Evah? What outlet is available if all your friends are won't BE available?
I think that's something really tough for many to wrap their understanding around, and tend to "gloss over" about marriage.
Ideally, your spouse is the one you go to about the most personal things... and maybe everything, ideally? But who lives in an ideal world?
I struggle with this too, Ken. For the most part, I am always by myself but there are a few friends I can talk to in a pinch, and people always seem to be coming and going from my life (just as I also am sent for a time into theirs) but it's usually just for a time and season.
As I wrote in a previous post, I'm not sure how to transfer relying on a group of friends, both male and female, to then having only ONE person as your entire social outlet.
All I can say is, if you think you're incapable of being emotionally faithful to someone, maybe marriage isn't the best option for a person who realizes that as a weakness. It seems unfair and dishonest to marry someone if a person knows they are incapable of emotional faithfulness, no matter what gender is involved--same or opposite. If you plan on marrying someone but your best friend will always be more important than your spouse, don't get married. It's just not fair to the person you're marrying.
And, I would definitely reconsider marrying anyone whom I couldn't share important things with--why would I be with that person if we couldn't talk about what's most important? I think a lot of people "force" marriages without being honest about why they're getting married. They don't want to be alone, they're afraid of getting older, they think this is their last chance... and so they find themselves in situations that were rooted in very unstable foundations to begin with... And then wonder why everything goes south after that.
And, if a person finds themselves in a marriage that started out well and all the emotional intimacy disappears (I've been there), all I can say is, God help them.
Because literally, He's the only thing that's going to save them. And if the marriage can't be saved (you can't force someone to stay with you), again, God is the only thing that's going to get both people through.
