Is being a submissive wife really taboo?

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purgedconscience

Guest
I've gotten the gasp and eye roll from pretty much every person I have this conversation with (Christian or not) when I say I am a submissive wife to my Master (husband). The truth is I have always had a submissive type of personality and spirit. I do my best everyday to submit to God and my Husband.
This means, I wake up and do my daily devotional and pray, I then kiss Master awake and make food while He chooses our clothes for the day. I sometimes will draw Him a shower then clean the house. It is these things, but mostly it is about listening to Him if He tells me no for something I trust that He has my best interest in mind. This is a rare occurrence though. Being a submissive wife to me is also not arguing withMaster if iI don't like something. There are times where He will for instance leave clothes about the house instead of putting them in the basket, instead of arguing I simply ask "I know you work a lot to give me and us a good life and home and you're tired at night but next time can you please put your clothes in the basket?" And He apologizes and picks up His own mess.

It is about trust, love and honesty. I don't understand why some people think that women being this way is somehow wrong.
I read the first three pages and I don't think that I can read any further than that because I agree with some of what you say and have an unnerving queasiness about some other things that you say.

On the one hand, I definitely agree that a marital relationship has God-given authority attached to it and that a husband ought to lay down his life for his wife as Christ laid down His life for the church and that a wife ought to submit to and reverence her own husband as the church submits to and reverences Christ. In that regard, I partly don't have a problem with you referring to your husband as master, but the capitalization of such and him picking out your clothes and such does creep me out to a great extent. Furthermore, any mastery should never be of his own choosing, but he himself must be submissive to Christ and then pass along any instruction from Christ to you and any children that you might have. Further regarding your use of master to describe your husband, godly women of old like Sarah did refer to their husbands as lord, lower case l, but something about your testimony does make me queasy nonetheless. I Peter chapter 3 verses 1 thru 6 reads:

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.


Peter was referring to Genesis chapter 18 verse 12 where Sarah referred to Abraham as lord after the Lord told Abraham that Sarah was going to have a son:

Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

The word translated as lord does mean lord or master, so there is an element of truth to a godly wife referring to her own husband in such a manner, but, again, something still makes me queasy when I read about your relationship, but I may be wrong.

This comment in your signature, "She kneels humbled at His feet. He lifts up her face and smiles. "Good girl, I love you" He softly whispers on her skin", is that you kneeling humbled at Jesus' feet or at your husband's feet? If it's at your husband's feet and he's telling you, "Good girl" like you're a puppy or something, then something just isn't right.

I also cannot help but wonder why you have to publicly advertise your submission to your husband, even making it your username? Why would a submissive wife have to advertise? Again, something just doesn't seem right.
 
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SirsSubmissiveWife

Guest
Excuse me but implying that Master stifles my dreams is just hurtful and wrong. I have been able to accomplish my goals BECAUSE of Him! He paid off my debts so that I could get a car and He then signed that car over to me when I learned how to drive at 21 because I was deathly afraid of cars. He is also currently helping me achieve my dream of being a nurse and working with elderly people. I have plenty of goals outside of our home, as does He. We travel and hunt and fish together every chance we get because they are things we both enjoy. Do not assume that because we live a different lifestyle than you that He is somehow some domineering jerk. There is a huge difference between domineering and Dominant.
 

MarcR

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
183
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Here's what you're missing. A woman isn't required to treat her husband like he's her master...nor is she required to call him master. Additionally, supporting one's husband does not demand that you allow him to make every decision for you no matter how minute (which, let's be frank, would be odious for most men and completely diminutizing for most women). For example, I know how to dress myself. I've managed to do so for some years now. I don't need my husband to pick out which clothes I should wear each morning.

Thus, the question becomes, "Why would a couple do this?" And the answer is this: They are creating a relationship based on POWER and not based on JESUS.

The fact that Christians who know Jesus intuitively recognize this and come against it isn't problematic.

There is NOTHING within any scripture that demands that a woman be a slave to her husband. And there are certainly specific scriptures that would seem to contradict the idea that a man be a slave-master to his wife. For example, a man is told to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. Christ sacrificed himself on a cross for the Church? Christ didn't micromanage his disciples. He knew them intimately and loved them because of their gifts and flaws both. He KNEW that Peter's impulsivity led him to claim that Jesus was Lord just as it would lead him to deny Christ. He loved Peter.

The idea that a husband would lord it over a woman and try to force her into being some kind of ideal that he has in his head instead of sacrificially loving her is not in keeping with scripture nor the example of Christ.

The lenses that you wear regarding the treatment of men in modern western culture have prevented you from seeing the clear folly of the original post.

It's not a post about "am I really being a Christian wife?" It's a post presenting the BDSM lifestyle as a norm and asking for the approval of Christians. It's a post that is manipulating scripture to support life choices that are not really based in scripture.

There are obvious elements of similarity to BDSM in the OP. I see elements that DO NOT fit that pattern.

One possibility is certainly that I am mistaken; but while I am open to opposing argument; my positions are usually well thought out; and I am not easily swayed.

Another possibility is that labels tend to be put where they don't belong. I am not sure that is true in this case; but I urge all to use labels sparingly.
 
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Sirk

Guest
Excuse me but implying that Master stifles my dreams is just hurtful and wrong. I have been able to accomplish my goals BECAUSE of Him! He paid off my debts so that I could get a car and He then signed that car over to me when I learned how to drive at 21 because I was deathly afraid of cars. He is also currently helping me achieve my dream of being a nurse and working with elderly people. I have plenty of goals outside of our home, as does He. We travel and hunt and fish together every chance we get because they are things we both enjoy. Do not assume that because we live a different lifestyle than you that He is somehow some domineering jerk. There is a huge difference between domineering and Dominant.
Well...give Master with a Capitol m my regards.
 
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Rosesrock

Guest
Excuse me but implying that Master stifles my dreams is just hurtful and wrong. I have been able to accomplish my goals BECAUSE of Him! He paid off my debts so that I could get a car and He then signed that car over to me when I learned how to drive at 21 because I was deathly afraid of cars. He is also currently helping me achieve my dream of being a nurse and working with elderly people. I have plenty of goals outside of our home, as does He. We travel and hunt and fish together every chance we get because they are things we both enjoy. Do not assume that because we live a different lifestyle than you that He is somehow some domineering jerk. There is a huge difference between domineering and Dominant.
There's a difference between bible and bdsm lifestyle
 
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Sirk

Guest
Maybe this had already been asked but...are you Christian? Do you attend a church and fellowship with other Christians? Do you have an older couple who mentors you? Etc etc
 
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SirsSubmissiveWife

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
 

MarcR

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
183
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You people are arguing with a 16 year old. His/her mind isn't fully developed yet.
He is arguing more thoughtfully and wisely than many adults. There are people his age with advanced degrees; though admittedly not many. Focus on his substance not his age.
 
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Mitspa

Guest
Excuse me but implying that Master stifles my dreams is just hurtful and wrong. I have been able to accomplish my goals BECAUSE of Him! He paid off my debts so that I could get a car and He then signed that car over to me when I learned how to drive at 21 because I was deathly afraid of cars. He is also currently helping me achieve my dream of being a nurse and working with elderly people. I have plenty of goals outside of our home, as does He. We travel and hunt and fish together every chance we get because they are things we both enjoy. Do not assume that because we live a different lifestyle than you that He is somehow some domineering jerk. There is a huge difference between domineering and Dominant.
What does your husband say when you call him Master? Im a traditional guy and I think that would really bother me, I don't think I would allow that.
 
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Rosesrock

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
Youve been asked questions in a public forum. We're all wanting clarity. I agree it's been debated but everything here is. You posted your OP knowing you would get some push back, im surprised you're surprised
 
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Sirk

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
So you come here and use language that falls outside of societal norms and indicates a one up one down relationship and now you're gonna play the victim card. It says a lot to me about where you are.
 
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Mitspa

Guest
No she is right on her description of how many have acted ungodly in this discussion....ok now start the insults and prove us both right :p
 
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Tintin

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
Really? Really? You're not forthcoming with any more details, you've been with this guy since you were fourteen. Along with the other things you've shared, it all sounds a bit dodgy.
 
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psychomom

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
i'm sorry. :(

some of us are concerned for you, and some of us have been rude.
it is a bit unusual to call one's husband something other than his name, though, right?
perhaps that was off-putting to some
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it's your marriage... and in that respect you and your husband make the decisions.
you're not my servants. :)
 
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purgedconscience

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
I'm not sure if I'm part of that 98% or not, but I did just click on your avatar to read what it says and I hope that your prayer is answered. There's nothing wrong with being a submissive wife. Not in the least. On my part, I simply voiced some concerns which might truly be rooted in either ignorance or assumption in that you obviously know yourself and your relationship with your husband better than I ever could after merely reading three pages of posts. Good night.
 

MarcR

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
183
63
Actually, BDSM has several "meanings" that overlap with the DS. It stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. Dominance and submission is a clear part of the BDSM lifestyle, whether or not it is accompanied by the other aspects of BDSM.

The fact that so many women "loved" Fifty Shades of Grey doesn't mean that women want a more dominant partner, anymore than Die Hard, 007, or Fast and Furious mean that men want to steal cars, shoot people, and blow things up. It's *fantasy.* Additionally, (and this may be making too fine a point), Fifty Shades of Grey has little/nothing to do with actual BDSM.

As for the idea that men "hardly know what it means to take a stand," here's what I have to say: Stop being an acculturated sheep. The examined life IS worth living. If an individual can't be bothered to make the effort to engage in self-examination and determine which aspects of their acculturation are useful and which are not, then that's the problem of the individual. It's not society's job to feed into every possible ideology regarding manhood. It's certainly not a secular society's job to create in men a religious sense of manhood. The very idea that society should make it possible for an individual to avoid self-examination by teaching them perfectly is completely ridiculous.

What in a woman's joyful submission to her husband's authority suggests bondage or sado-masochism?

Discipline, in its true sense means instruction; and that is something we should all be open to.
 
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Rosesrock

Guest
98% of you fellow "christians" have been rude, patronising and making crude uneducated assumptions. Frankly, I feel like I've been stoned by a bunch of Pharisees. It went from a question to complete rudeness from the start. Is this how you treat everyone who is different from you? I pray for all of you because truly Jesus is the only one who can judge me and I will face that when the day comes. I would NEVER talk to people the way most of you have done to me.
Look when you come a pour all your stuff out and tag God with it, just know that's my God you're also talking about for which I know there is no place in the bible that being tied up, brought to pain for pleasure, or being called little girl is there. Song of soloman is written for a reason. And Frankly, Im offended that you call yourself biblically traditional. This is the first time ive ever been borderline miffed here. And probably not the last.
 
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Tintin

Guest
Look when you come a pour all your stuff out and tag God with it, just know that's my God you're also talking about for which I know there is no place in the bible that being tied up, brought to pain for pleasure, or being called little girl is there. Song of soloman is written for a reason. And Frankly, Im offended that you call yourself biblically traditional. This is the first time ive ever been borderline miffed here. And probably not the last.
Yes, it's for the very reason that we are proponents of godly biblically marriage that we take to task the OP's posts.