Well, my siblings & I were abused very badly for a time in a religious foster home where the Word of God was beaten over our heads in condemnation and we were always in fear. So I wanted no part of God when I was a teenager because I thought He despised me. There was no such thing as "cool" religion. I wasn't a hippie ever. I never did psychedelic drugs. Didn't like hippie music. Cool was stupid to me.
As for being happy, I didn't believe it was possible for me in my lifetime. I had manic-depression. I was wasted in my heart because of the abuse. I was a beat-down soul so dark in my mind that nobody could reach me. "Saved from sin" didn't register with me because I knew I was never gonna measure up to that scary, big God in the sky. My heart told me He hated me and I was worthless to Him.
Mary kept appearing everywhere I went. In the laundry room at the apartment complex where I lived. Walking down the street as I was walking up. At the corner store, at the city park, on the bus, etc. It seemed God kept putting her in my path. I was embarrassed of her, she was not physically attractive, she was unpopular and poorly dressed. She talked to Jesus and everyone thought she was nuts, including me! I didn't want to be seen talking to her because I didn't want the world to think I had any affiliation with the likes of her. She was an outcast.
Excuse me for a moment while I throw up from the memory of my disgusting, filthy pride.
No, she didn't have to tell me I was a sinner. I asked her how NOT to be sinner. I begged her to please show me who Jesus the Lord in Spirit was. She laughed and said that He had already called me, chose me and His Spirit claimed me. I fell down on my knees and repented. She didn't have to tell me to.
Brother Mitspa, the Lord our Shepherd will do whatever He wants to do to bring a sheep of His safely home. He will put clay on someone's eyes, He will tell someone to wash in the river, He will tell someone to only believe, He will lay His hands on someone's head, He will tell a prostitute her faith has saved her, He will tell a thief on a cross that he will accompany Jesus in Paradise, He will tell someone to go home and find their child healed.
Mary's shining love for Jesus Christ was what the Lord used to break through the barriers that kept me away from Him. All I can tell ya, brother is that once I was blind and now I see. How did God do it? By His amazing love and grace in Jesus Christ. It was and still is a miracle to me.