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Coming from Hong Kong in 1997 and becoming a christian in 2009. My goal to going to church is always be with God. My previous experience in another church has taught me a lesson, never creep someone up and lost my chance. And here is the link to my previous problem. If anyone care to read them
http://christianchat.com/christian-...-girls-same-time-consequences.html#post917742
Anyways, i have been attending the new church for quite a while now, and before i sat my foot to this new church i tell myself that i will NEVER repeat the same mistake that i have made in my previous church. Therefore, whenever I approached a girl, i would simply focus on their weakness instead of their positive side, and because no girl is perfect and there must be something wrong with everyone of them. When I did that, i find my interest to peruse that particular girl vanishes. The cons for using this strategy is that it made me bitter and sad because i only focus on their negatives I can see nothing good out of any females.
I think I am a bit more matured now (Age 30), and I think that I have more idea on what i want in my life now. I think its time to abolish such stupid rules and then just try to be myself. There is one girl that I really would like to peruse. First of all, I set up a racism rule not to go after any Chinese because i am racist against them. (Not true at all, l just make this lie to reject girls before they reject me), so if I go after this girl i would have no justification to be "racist" against Chinese. Secondly, she is absolutely beautiful, not just beautiful but also very cheerful. She is that kind of person that makes me want to know more about her. I think I would have done the same if she happens to be a man, just without the relationship part. Thirdly, she is around my age while make her a perfect wife for me (once again i will abolished my age rule, which i want girls from 17-18 years old . Not true at all, I just want to reject any girls before they even have the chance to reject me). I have reject girls for varies reasons, such as wrinkles, their voice, their age, their habit. Every single flaws (just lies, not really true at all) gave me a reason to say no. I really would like to abandon rules just so i can peruse this relationship with her. Frankly, I would like to abolish my own rule simply because sometimes the lies has become real, and sometimes i do feel the hate toward some Chinese girl, and that is not healthy. The rule needs to go regardless.
Here comes the problem though. I design such moronic rule is to protect myself and the girls. If I open up myself to go after this girl, and this girl reject me again. I might go ahead and isolate myself even further, which is something i do't want to do. I have been praying to God about this but so far no answer whether i should proceed or not. I felt like a gamble, a dangerous gamble to make. Not quite sure what to do.
Here comes another problem. I am ugly, very ugly. So ugly I cannot face myself in the mirror. FACT. My friends and family told me that I do not look ugly at all. Frankly I do not believe in them, not to say they are lying but rather I think they are just saying it to make me feel better. Because if i am not ugly, how come I am still single at age 30? I know in God everyone is beautiful. Even Jesus wasn't that good looking, but yet he has a lot of followers. However, Jesus doesn't need to have a relationship with a woman, of course he can look average.
Anyways, thanks for reading and may God bless you!
http://christianchat.com/christian-...-girls-same-time-consequences.html#post917742
Anyways, i have been attending the new church for quite a while now, and before i sat my foot to this new church i tell myself that i will NEVER repeat the same mistake that i have made in my previous church. Therefore, whenever I approached a girl, i would simply focus on their weakness instead of their positive side, and because no girl is perfect and there must be something wrong with everyone of them. When I did that, i find my interest to peruse that particular girl vanishes. The cons for using this strategy is that it made me bitter and sad because i only focus on their negatives I can see nothing good out of any females.
I think I am a bit more matured now (Age 30), and I think that I have more idea on what i want in my life now. I think its time to abolish such stupid rules and then just try to be myself. There is one girl that I really would like to peruse. First of all, I set up a racism rule not to go after any Chinese because i am racist against them. (Not true at all, l just make this lie to reject girls before they reject me), so if I go after this girl i would have no justification to be "racist" against Chinese. Secondly, she is absolutely beautiful, not just beautiful but also very cheerful. She is that kind of person that makes me want to know more about her. I think I would have done the same if she happens to be a man, just without the relationship part. Thirdly, she is around my age while make her a perfect wife for me (once again i will abolished my age rule, which i want girls from 17-18 years old . Not true at all, I just want to reject any girls before they even have the chance to reject me). I have reject girls for varies reasons, such as wrinkles, their voice, their age, their habit. Every single flaws (just lies, not really true at all) gave me a reason to say no. I really would like to abandon rules just so i can peruse this relationship with her. Frankly, I would like to abolish my own rule simply because sometimes the lies has become real, and sometimes i do feel the hate toward some Chinese girl, and that is not healthy. The rule needs to go regardless.
Here comes the problem though. I design such moronic rule is to protect myself and the girls. If I open up myself to go after this girl, and this girl reject me again. I might go ahead and isolate myself even further, which is something i do't want to do. I have been praying to God about this but so far no answer whether i should proceed or not. I felt like a gamble, a dangerous gamble to make. Not quite sure what to do.
Here comes another problem. I am ugly, very ugly. So ugly I cannot face myself in the mirror. FACT. My friends and family told me that I do not look ugly at all. Frankly I do not believe in them, not to say they are lying but rather I think they are just saying it to make me feel better. Because if i am not ugly, how come I am still single at age 30? I know in God everyone is beautiful. Even Jesus wasn't that good looking, but yet he has a lot of followers. However, Jesus doesn't need to have a relationship with a woman, of course he can look average.
Anyways, thanks for reading and may God bless you!
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