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Well the bible does say women are weaker. And I have no idea what I'm talking about and no body really knows. But I think the man comforts the woman in emotional distress.
Shows her how to remain calm under trial i.e. helps her be fearless.
Isn't afraid to speak his mind...ie to be frank, ( to avoid her heart being led on or into false hope).
Intervenes if she is involved in disputes.
Allows her to speak her mind. Gives her freedom to express her desires, wants and needs, and allows her to pursue the desires of her heart.
I guess a few big ones to avoid would be, to avoid ridiculing her in front of others or speak about her in a bad way behind her back. Avoid gossip, jealousy, envy, evil suspicion and doubt or slander. Don't make false promises or promise things he cannot keep. Try to avoid saying bad things about her parents or family or children.
hmmm what else?
Shows her how to remain calm under trial i.e. helps her be fearless.
Isn't afraid to speak his mind...ie to be frank, ( to avoid her heart being led on or into false hope).
Intervenes if she is involved in disputes.
Allows her to speak her mind. Gives her freedom to express her desires, wants and needs, and allows her to pursue the desires of her heart.
I guess a few big ones to avoid would be, to avoid ridiculing her in front of others or speak about her in a bad way behind her back. Avoid gossip, jealousy, envy, evil suspicion and doubt or slander. Don't make false promises or promise things he cannot keep. Try to avoid saying bad things about her parents or family or children.
hmmm what else?
B
So men who are friends with a girl or interested in a girl... how can he guard her heart?
Do guys as single men.. think or pray about what actions will protect her heart. I find a lot of times guys jump the gun and say.. "hey I like you! Like me back!" without really going about it wisely or taking time to think through and pray about his feelings and waiting for Gods direction.
Often times I see guys wanting the girls to fall for them and then aren't there to catch her when she does. They get 'swept up' in the initial attraction and rush everything. I think its wise to wait for Gods leading about whether or not to even let her know his feelings.
Sometimes even sharing how you think you feel causes the relationship or friendship to be steered in a direction that God doesn't intend.
Do guys as single men.. think or pray about what actions will protect her heart. I find a lot of times guys jump the gun and say.. "hey I like you! Like me back!" without really going about it wisely or taking time to think through and pray about his feelings and waiting for Gods direction.
Often times I see guys wanting the girls to fall for them and then aren't there to catch her when she does. They get 'swept up' in the initial attraction and rush everything. I think its wise to wait for Gods leading about whether or not to even let her know his feelings.
Sometimes even sharing how you think you feel causes the relationship or friendship to be steered in a direction that God doesn't intend.
This is an excellent point, Becauseofhisgrace. And it goes both ways, for us girls as well as the guys.
I've had several problems with this myself--guy friends are great, but sometimes if they think (or just want) "you to be the one", they pretty much want to insist that you feel the same way back and start to think that if they call and text 50 times a day, then track your every move and show up wherever you are (stalking!, or as Sharp once classically called it, "casual observance"), you will somehow become attached to them as well.
But, I have to say though that I am guilty of this as well, sometimes developing a severe crush on a guy friend and agonizing over whether or not I should say anything (being a headstrong person... I've usually gone ahead and said something... and as you can see, I guess it hasn't worked out, because I'm still single!)
I do realize God gives men a lot of responsibility in a marriage, but you've brought up some really thought-provoking points. As Christians, we all have a responsibility to guard one another's hearts in peace and love--now the best way to do that in real-life situations is the big question, and I wish I had the answers myself.
For myself, I am trying to learn better control over when and when not God wants me to blurt something out!!
And, very, very cool title to your thread, by the way.
K
As a female, I congratulate you on nailing this on the head as to what we need as our mate.
However, let me just add my two cents before anyone gets jumpy on the weaker sex statement. In Genesis, it says that God created Man and Woman equal. But men were created with traits that were meant for women to recieve (because they lacked it) and Women were given traits that men were intended to recieve etc. Calm down all you feminists out there.. lol.
I personally find nothing wrong with the idea of submitting to my husband because I know that he too has been commanded to love me as Christ loved us all (pretty hard job if you ask me..), and that involves carefully looking after me. And if we're being looked after and loved then submitting doesnt even end up being 'submitting' it becomes 'love in action' or faith with deeds as the book of James says.
Over and out!
However, let me just add my two cents before anyone gets jumpy on the weaker sex statement. In Genesis, it says that God created Man and Woman equal. But men were created with traits that were meant for women to recieve (because they lacked it) and Women were given traits that men were intended to recieve etc. Calm down all you feminists out there.. lol.
I personally find nothing wrong with the idea of submitting to my husband because I know that he too has been commanded to love me as Christ loved us all (pretty hard job if you ask me..), and that involves carefully looking after me. And if we're being looked after and loved then submitting doesnt even end up being 'submitting' it becomes 'love in action' or faith with deeds as the book of James says.
Over and out!
A MAN
LIVES IN 2 WORLDS
ONE WORLD IS GOD OR WHOM HE SERVES
AND THE OTHER IS
FAMILY AND MARRIAGE
IN GOD
EVERY DAY A MAN SHOULD GET UP
BLESS THE LORD FOR ANOTHER DAY AND OPPORTUNITY TO WORSHIP HIS CREATOR
COVER HIMSELF DAILY IN A RENEWING OF THE BLOOD OF JESUS
PUT ON THE FULL ARMOUR OF GOD
APPLY THE HEDGE OF GOD OVER HIM
AND CHARGE ANGELS TO BE AROUND HIM
FOR WE BATTLE AGAINST POWERS AND PRINCIPALITIES AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE
AGAINST EVIL
A MAN IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
HE IS TO BE THE SPIRITUAL LEADER BY LEADING HIS ENTIRE FAMILY
IN PRAYER
BIBLE READING
SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE
COMPLETE FUNCTION WITHIN THE CHURCH
IT IS HIS SOLE DUTY TO ENSURE THOSE HE LOVES... KNOWS WHO GOD IS AND IS LIVING IN GOD
HE IS TO BE THE LEADER OF THE HOME
NOT ONLY DOES HE PROVIDE BUT HE SHOULD BE A VITAL PART OF THE INCOME COMING INTO THE FAMILY HOUSEHOLD
HE SHOULD HELP WITH FAMILY ISSUES
HE SHOULD BE A ROLE MODEL FOR HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN IN ALL THINGS
HE SHOULD BE A PART OF HOUSE CHORES INSIDE AND OUT
HE SHOULD ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE TO HELP AND ANSWER ANYTHING THAT HIS FAMILY NEEDS HIM FOR
HE SHOULD BE THE PHYSICAL PROTECTOR AND SHIELD FOR HIS FAMILY
HE SHOULD CHERISH THE MOMENT SHOULD HE BE ASKED TO GIVE HIS LIFE FOR HIS FAMILY
A MANS guidance is more than he is rough and tough
He is responsible for decisions to be made in finances and issues relating to whether the children participate in sports
and after school activities. And if he makes these decisions to allow his children to become involved
in extra curriculum activities then it is ALSO his responsibility to help be there in support and instruction afterward
but also as a way the child gets to and from practice or events.
HE is also the RULER and DISCIPLINE
A MAN is the LEADER first and foremost
BUT HE LEADS in guidance and tough love
Even when stern HE shows that he is doing this for a purpose to benefit later
for it is to never tear down but to instruct to build up immediately and on down the road
AS AN ASSOCIATE PASTOR
THE BLOOD OF MY CONGREGATION IS UPON ME THEIR VERY SOULS ARE IN THE BALANCE OF MY HANDS
AS A MAN
MY SOUL IS IN MY HANDS AND WHO I ALLOW TO DIRECT ME AND GUIDE ME
AS A HUSBAND
A MAN HOLDS THE VERY SOUL OF HIS WIFE WHICH IS THE VERY LIFE HE HAS CHOSEN TO LIVE BY
AS A FATHER
A MAN HOLDS THE PRECIOUS LIVES BY WHICH HE HAS CREATED AND WILL PASS ONTO
THE MEANING OF LIFE BY WHICH HE HIMSELFS SURVIVES BY
AS A CHILD OF GOD
A MAN LIVES BY THE DIRECT WORD OF GOD AND IS COMPLETED WITHIN GODs BOUNDARIES FOR MAN
THIS IS MY IDEA BY WHICH GOD HAD INTENDED MAN TO BE
LIVES IN 2 WORLDS
ONE WORLD IS GOD OR WHOM HE SERVES
AND THE OTHER IS
FAMILY AND MARRIAGE
IN GOD
EVERY DAY A MAN SHOULD GET UP
BLESS THE LORD FOR ANOTHER DAY AND OPPORTUNITY TO WORSHIP HIS CREATOR
COVER HIMSELF DAILY IN A RENEWING OF THE BLOOD OF JESUS
PUT ON THE FULL ARMOUR OF GOD
APPLY THE HEDGE OF GOD OVER HIM
AND CHARGE ANGELS TO BE AROUND HIM
FOR WE BATTLE AGAINST POWERS AND PRINCIPALITIES AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE
AGAINST EVIL
A MAN IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
HE IS TO BE THE SPIRITUAL LEADER BY LEADING HIS ENTIRE FAMILY
IN PRAYER
BIBLE READING
SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE
COMPLETE FUNCTION WITHIN THE CHURCH
IT IS HIS SOLE DUTY TO ENSURE THOSE HE LOVES... KNOWS WHO GOD IS AND IS LIVING IN GOD
HE IS TO BE THE LEADER OF THE HOME
NOT ONLY DOES HE PROVIDE BUT HE SHOULD BE A VITAL PART OF THE INCOME COMING INTO THE FAMILY HOUSEHOLD
HE SHOULD HELP WITH FAMILY ISSUES
HE SHOULD BE A ROLE MODEL FOR HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN IN ALL THINGS
HE SHOULD BE A PART OF HOUSE CHORES INSIDE AND OUT
HE SHOULD ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE TO HELP AND ANSWER ANYTHING THAT HIS FAMILY NEEDS HIM FOR
HE SHOULD BE THE PHYSICAL PROTECTOR AND SHIELD FOR HIS FAMILY
HE SHOULD CHERISH THE MOMENT SHOULD HE BE ASKED TO GIVE HIS LIFE FOR HIS FAMILY
A MANS guidance is more than he is rough and tough
He is responsible for decisions to be made in finances and issues relating to whether the children participate in sports
and after school activities. And if he makes these decisions to allow his children to become involved
in extra curriculum activities then it is ALSO his responsibility to help be there in support and instruction afterward
but also as a way the child gets to and from practice or events.
HE is also the RULER and DISCIPLINE
A MAN is the LEADER first and foremost
BUT HE LEADS in guidance and tough love
Even when stern HE shows that he is doing this for a purpose to benefit later
for it is to never tear down but to instruct to build up immediately and on down the road
AS AN ASSOCIATE PASTOR
THE BLOOD OF MY CONGREGATION IS UPON ME THEIR VERY SOULS ARE IN THE BALANCE OF MY HANDS
AS A MAN
MY SOUL IS IN MY HANDS AND WHO I ALLOW TO DIRECT ME AND GUIDE ME
AS A HUSBAND
A MAN HOLDS THE VERY SOUL OF HIS WIFE WHICH IS THE VERY LIFE HE HAS CHOSEN TO LIVE BY
AS A FATHER
A MAN HOLDS THE PRECIOUS LIVES BY WHICH HE HAS CREATED AND WILL PASS ONTO
THE MEANING OF LIFE BY WHICH HE HIMSELFS SURVIVES BY
AS A CHILD OF GOD
A MAN LIVES BY THE DIRECT WORD OF GOD AND IS COMPLETED WITHIN GODs BOUNDARIES FOR MAN
THIS IS MY IDEA BY WHICH GOD HAD INTENDED MAN TO BE
Actually, I believe that God intends for the man and woman to be at each other's side, neither of them in front or behind. We all have different roles to play, but that doesn't mean that either gender is inherently superior (or inferior) to the other.
I'm afraid I don't have a good answer for this, as in my only relationship (so far), a great deal of time was spent trying to get my ex-GF to open her heart.
I'm honestly not sure. I always thought that the protection of a woman's heart was mostly between her and God. The man is told to "love his wife as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her." This apparently details a duty for the man to treat his wife with sacrificial love, protecting her from harm, being selfless, and lifting her up when she feels down. But certain things in both of their lives (such as inherent happiness or peace, for example), are not either spouse's concern. No husband or wife can ever make their spouse completely happy, no matter how much they try. In my opinion, some things are best when left exclusively in God's arena.
I can't speak for other men, but as for myself a woman's deepest emotional state isn't exactly on my "Top Ten" list of things to watch out for. At the start of any conversation, I would barely even know the girl; how can I honestly expect her to trust me with that side of her, right off the bat? It doesn't make any sense. Just like love, trust builds with time, and eventually she will (hopefully) feel safe and secure enough to open up her heart...but it can't be forced.
I'm afraid I don't have a good answer for this, as in my only relationship (so far), a great deal of time was spent trying to get my ex-GF to open her heart.
I'm honestly not sure. I always thought that the protection of a woman's heart was mostly between her and God. The man is told to "love his wife as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her." This apparently details a duty for the man to treat his wife with sacrificial love, protecting her from harm, being selfless, and lifting her up when she feels down. But certain things in both of their lives (such as inherent happiness or peace, for example), are not either spouse's concern. No husband or wife can ever make their spouse completely happy, no matter how much they try. In my opinion, some things are best when left exclusively in God's arena.
I can't speak for other men, but as for myself a woman's deepest emotional state isn't exactly on my "Top Ten" list of things to watch out for. At the start of any conversation, I would barely even know the girl; how can I honestly expect her to trust me with that side of her, right off the bat? It doesn't make any sense. Just like love, trust builds with time, and eventually she will (hopefully) feel safe and secure enough to open up her heart...but it can't be forced.
Guarding the heart simply means not pushing the other person into doing somethey they know God does not allow. As men God expects us to protect the women in our lives from ourselves as much as anything else. We are supposed to lead the relationship. We are supposed to be helping our significant other follow Gods law, not dragging them down. The thing I bet most christian men forget is that you ladies are first and foremost our sisters in Christ. You should be treated as such.
A
be very careful entrusting your heart to any man, you never know what evil lurks as i have learned in life
they will crush it in a moment and think nothing of it
think it was funny and they were doing what the Lord wanted them to do because you thought so pridefully of yourself to have a heart
LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS, SO IF THAT MAN DOES NOT LOVE YOU HE WILL NOT PROTECT YOU
they will crush it in a moment and think nothing of it
think it was funny and they were doing what the Lord wanted them to do because you thought so pridefully of yourself to have a heart
LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS, SO IF THAT MAN DOES NOT LOVE YOU HE WILL NOT PROTECT YOU
M
I do think of it when I feel an attraction, in my opinion no relationship I desire can succeed if I don't take the time to try and see the world from her perspective, walk a mile in her shoes as it were.
It all looks different to her and I know I need to try as I am able to understand the ways in which it differs as much as I can, and if I can get some understanding I can amend my behaviour, and that will help me to guide our relationship and protect her heart by avoiding the mistakes I might have otherwise made.
That being said I understand what you say about eagerness causing problems and a guy asking for the trust and then turning away, it's a common flaw in us, but when you feel the burden to lead and succeed it makes failure a likely outcome, sometimes in the past I've felt acutely aware of how much is expected of me and when all sides of life say 'men must do'.......so follows a long list.......it's easy to rush in to try and feel confident and assertive, but then the fear overwhelms and it all goes wrong, oftentimes the desire will have been genuine and sincere.
It all looks different to her and I know I need to try as I am able to understand the ways in which it differs as much as I can, and if I can get some understanding I can amend my behaviour, and that will help me to guide our relationship and protect her heart by avoiding the mistakes I might have otherwise made.
That being said I understand what you say about eagerness causing problems and a guy asking for the trust and then turning away, it's a common flaw in us, but when you feel the burden to lead and succeed it makes failure a likely outcome, sometimes in the past I've felt acutely aware of how much is expected of me and when all sides of life say 'men must do'.......so follows a long list.......it's easy to rush in to try and feel confident and assertive, but then the fear overwhelms and it all goes wrong, oftentimes the desire will have been genuine and sincere.
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B
I like what you said. I'm sure you were referring to many things here. But I just want to focus on how you said pushing them into something they know God doesn't allow, or leading the relationship where God never intended it to go. Another guy further down talked about having a lot of pressure because you are supposed to be the leader but that means you might make mistakes. OH man! All the more reason to make sure you enter into a relationship right! In order not to hurt the woman you're interested in, making sure you know what God is leading you towards and be in line with Him.
I heard a wise pursueal consisted of:
~Admitting to yourself that your feelings are romantic...not "we're just friends"
~Seek God- pray, read His word, ask His will, in if, how, when, things should be done
~Make Jesus Lord of your emotions (don't be an emotional prostitute) Basically until the Lord says to advance, don't.
~Communicate to an objective person (personally I like the idea of this one, seeking a wise person that can look and see if you guys would be good together if they're a good match if you are thinking clearly, if the relationship is wise and has standing ground)
~Communicate to the partner (this is done last and AFTER all the other steps have been done)
This process is of course most beneficial to those who have:
Got their motives right (nothing from fear or selfishness) that's not love.
Avoided the "dating syndrome" date date date. I like you. now I like him. now we're over and I'm going with her.
Given up your rights to sex and marriage. (Allowing God to give them back as a privilege)
Taken time to develop non romantic relationships.
DETERMINED to please God!
Gotten your life free from sin and hangups.
MEN? WOMEN? something to think about.... I know I do.
I learned that from 5 years with a women that didn't want to wait. Despite what she said, she made things very difficult to follow God. In the end nothing happened between us thankfully. Though it wasn't for lack of trying on her part and on a couple of occasions we very nearly did something we'd have regretted later. Thankfully the only thing I can figure is that the spirit kicked me in the head both times and I put a stop to it before anything happend. It certainly wasn't me, I was too far gone by that point.
I like what you said. I'm sure you were referring to many things here. But I just want to focus on how you said pushing them into something they know God doesn't allow, or leading the relationship where God never intended it to go. Another guy further down talked about having a lot of pressure because you are supposed to be the leader but that means you might make mistakes. OH man! All the more reason to make sure you enter into a relationship right! In order not to hurt the woman you're interested in, making sure you know what God is leading you towards and be in line with Him.
I heard a wise pursueal consisted of:
~Admitting to yourself that your feelings are romantic...not "we're just friends"
~Seek God- pray, read His word, ask His will, in if, how, when, things should be done
~Make Jesus Lord of your emotions (don't be an emotional prostitute) Basically until the Lord says to advance, don't.
~Communicate to an objective person (personally I like the idea of this one, seeking a wise person that can look and see if you guys would be good together if they're a good match if you are thinking clearly, if the relationship is wise and has standing ground)
~Communicate to the partner (this is done last and AFTER all the other steps have been done)
This process is of course most beneficial to those who have:
Got their motives right (nothing from fear or selfishness) that's not love.
Avoided the "dating syndrome" date date date. I like you. now I like him. now we're over and I'm going with her.
Given up your rights to sex and marriage. (Allowing God to give them back as a privilege)
Taken time to develop non romantic relationships.
DETERMINED to please God!
Gotten your life free from sin and hangups.
MEN? WOMEN? something to think about.... I know I do.
My motive are right at least I think so. I'm not afraid of being alone and as for the selfishness part I'm not quite sure what you mean.
I've never been into the dating thing. I haven't dated or otherwise been involved with anyone in 7 years. I don't play games and I'm not interested in an emotional dramatist. No Soap opera like relationships for me. I hate that sort of thing.
The way things are I don't think I'll ever have sex. I am not impressed with most of the women I've met and quite frankly I want it to be the one thing my wife (whoever she is) and I have that we can look at and say that is ours and only ours.
I haven't met many people that I can call friends. I certainly don't trust many people enough to call them friends.
As for the last two on your list of things, with the way the world is today it is difficult to determine what is pleasing to God and what isn't. There is a lot of grey area at least in our own minds and many things that rather depend on our motives.
The last one, we are human, we are not God its is nearly impossible to be free of sin. A fleeting thought, a desire in anger or passion, pride in something we've done while completely forgetting that God was behind our success. As for hangups again I'm not quite sure what you mean by hangups.
Do you mean mistakes we've made? Just general family baggage?
I think I've got a suit of armour on but it aint shiny anymore. Too many storms, too much battle and not enough down time. Its rusty and bloodstained, and I've run out of polish and oil and I can't afford a new set. Or perhaps I've just never met the woman who doesn't care that I'm wearing rusty armour. Personally I think it shows its been well used and I'm not lazing about doing nothing. Oh by the way I've lost my helmet, if anyone finds it please sent it post or fedex in care of the "Crazy eyed psychotic nut job with the flames comming out of his arms"
For any of you ladies exasperated by your husbands and completely perplexed I have the following book to suggest. It was written by a female authour who surveyed hundreds of men and their wives. So don't dismiss it as male propaganda or something. It is surprisingly accurate in her conclusions about the way men think. Yes I'm male and Yes I've read it. So sue me. I learned a few things about myself I'd never bothered to think about. I would suggest that both genders read it.
"For women only" by Shaunti Feldhahn.
And please pass this title on to other women you know.
"For women only" by Shaunti Feldhahn.
And please pass this title on to other women you know.