I like what you said.
I'm sure you were referring to many things here. But I just want to focus on how you said pushing them into something they know God doesn't allow, or leading the relationship where God never intended it to go. Another guy further down talked about having a lot of pressure because you are supposed to be the leader but that means you might make mistakes. OH man! All the more reason to make sure you enter into a relationship right! In order not to hurt the woman you're interested in, making sure you know what God is leading you towards and be in line with Him.
I heard a wise pursueal consisted of:
~Admitting to yourself that your feelings are romantic...not "we're just friends"
~Seek God- pray, read His word, ask His will, in if, how, when, things should be done
~Make Jesus Lord of your emotions (don't be an emotional prostitute) Basically until the Lord says to advance, don't.
~Communicate to an objective person (personally I like the idea of this one, seeking a wise person that can look and see if you guys would be good together if they're a good match if you are thinking clearly, if the relationship is wise and has standing ground)
~Communicate to the partner (this is done last and AFTER all the other steps have been done)
This process is of course most beneficial to those who have:
Got their motives right (nothing from fear or selfishness) that's not love.
Avoided the "dating syndrome" date date date. I like you. now I like him. now we're over and I'm going with her.
Given up your rights to sex and marriage. (Allowing God to give them back as a privilege)
Taken time to develop non romantic relationships.
DETERMINED to please God!
Gotten your life free from sin and hangups.
MEN? WOMEN? something to think about.... I know I do.
Well I have to say the following....
My motive are right at least I think so. I'm not afraid of being alone and as for the selfishness part I'm not quite sure what you mean.
I've never been into the dating thing. I haven't dated or otherwise been involved with anyone in 7 years. I don't play games and I'm not interested in an emotional dramatist. No Soap opera like relationships for me. I hate that sort of thing.
The way things are I don't think I'll ever have sex. I am not impressed with most of the women I've met and quite frankly I want it to be the one thing my wife (whoever she is) and I have that we can look at and say that is ours and only ours.
I haven't met many people that I can call friends. I certainly don't trust many people enough to call them friends.
As for the last two on your list of things, with the way the world is today it is difficult to determine what is pleasing to God and what isn't. There is a lot of grey area at least in our own minds and many things that rather depend on our motives.
The last one, we are human, we are not God its is nearly impossible to be free of sin. A fleeting thought, a desire in anger or passion, pride in something we've done while completely forgetting that God was behind our success. As for hangups again I'm not quite sure what you mean by hangups.
Do you mean mistakes we've made? Just general family baggage?
I think I've got a suit of armour on but it aint shiny anymore. Too many storms, too much battle and not enough down time. Its rusty and bloodstained, and I've run out of polish and oil and I can't afford a new set. Or perhaps I've just never met the woman who doesn't care that I'm wearing rusty armour. Personally I think it shows its been well used and I'm not lazing about doing nothing. Oh by the way I've lost my helmet, if anyone finds it please sent it post or fedex in care of the "Crazy eyed psychotic nut job with the flames comming out of his arms"
